(C.W. McCall, Fries, Chip Davis)
Now Arnold Jones an' Jensen's in a 'Vette down by the Deep Rock Had Denver on the 8-track, gettin' high wig was on the floor An' Arnold's feet was out the we shined our flashlight in Arnold's startled eyes I says "What chew doin' Don't chew know against the law? We just gonna hafta get this situation control Now my name is Fairweather an' this here's Willard Clark We the Pottawattamie County Patrol."
Then two hippies in a Chevy's puffin' an' sippin' wine 'Bout fourteen mile a' Council Bluffs They's passin' the peace-pipe When we caught 'em with our An' Willard's hairy applied the cuffs. I says, "Boys you got trouble You herb-i-cide. We just hafta get this situation under control 'Cause I'm Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark We the Pottawattamie County Patrol."
Then we ol' Marvin Kline a-headin' south on twenty-nine Like a midnight auto store on wheels His trunk was full a' hub An' his back seat a' tires When we picked him up and made him his heels I says, "Hands the wall, boy You allowed t' one call We gonna hafta get this situation under control Cause, see, I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' here's Willard Clark We the County Rip-off Patrol."
Then Orval Hinkle left the Go-Go on his brand-new motor-sickle Runnin' stop-lights, hell an' causin' accidents His was doin' wheelies An' his was three-two beer we nailed him in his driveway at his residence I says, "Orval, you're in boy But if you'll this here balloon up We gonna get your under control Now I'm Captain Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Willard We the County Juice Patrol."
Then we's passin' by the Dew Drop Inn he heard this woman scream So we on in an' parked an' got the guns out Well we bashed on the lobby into unit seventeen There's twenty-eight folks in without no clothes on. I says "Everbody up the wall; show us yer identification. We just definitely get this situation under control 'Cause my is Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark We the County Sin Patrol."
C'mon, Willard, let's go sneakin' in the dark some more, never know what yer gonna find.