(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Davis)
Now Arnold Jones an' MaryBeth in a 'Vette down by the Deep Rock Had John on the 8-track, gettin' high MaryBeth's wig was on the An' Arnold's feet was out the When we shined our flashlight in Arnold's eyes I says "What doin' boy? Don't know that's against the law? We just gonna get this situation under control Now my name is Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Clark We the Pottawattamie Love Patrol."
Then two hippies in a Chevy's puffin' grass an' sippin' 'Bout fourteen south-east a' Council Bluffs They's 'round the peace-pipe When we caught 'em with our An' Willard's hairy hands the cuffs. I says, "Boys you got some You herb-i-cide. We just gonna hafta get this situation under 'Cause I'm Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark We the Pottawattamie County Patrol."
Then we spied ol' Marvin Kline south on twenty-nine Like a midnight auto ac-cessory on wheels His was full a' hub caps An' his back seat full a' we picked him up and made him spread his heels I says, "Hands the wall, boy You t' make one call We just hafta get this situation under control Cause, see, I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Clark We the County Rip-off Patrol."
Then Orval Hinkle the Go-Go Club on his brand-new motor-sickle Runnin' stop-lights, hell an' causin' accidents His brain was wheelies An' his blood was three-two we nailed him in his driveway at his residence I says, "Orval, in trouble boy But if you'll blow this balloon up We get your situation under control Now I'm Captain Fairweather Lewis an' here's Willard Clark We the County Juice Patrol."
Then we's passin' by the Dew Drop Inn when he heard this woman So we pulled on in an' parked an' got the out Well we on through the lobby into unit seventeen twenty-eight folks in there without no clothes on. I says "Everbody up against the show us yer identification. We just gonna definitely get this situation control 'Cause my name is Fairweather Lewis, an' here's Willard Clark We the County Sin Patrol."
C'mon, Willard, let's go sneakin' 'round in the dark some more, know what yer gonna find.