(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Davis)
Now Arnold Jones an' MaryBeth Jensen's in a down by the Deep Rock Had John Denver on the 8-track, high MaryBeth's wig was on the An' Arnold's feet was out the When we shined our in Arnold's startled eyes I says "What doin' boy? Don't chew that's against the law? We just gonna get this situation under control Now my name is Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Willard We the Pottawattamie County Patrol."
Then two hippies in a Chevy's grass an' sippin' wine 'Bout fourteen mile south-east a' Bluffs They's passin' 'round the When we caught 'em our flashlight An' hairy hands applied the cuffs. I says, "Boys you got some You herb-i-cide. We just gonna hafta get this situation under 'Cause I'm Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark We the Pottawattamie Weed Patrol."
Then we spied ol' Kline a-headin' south on twenty-nine Like a auto ac-cessory store on wheels His trunk was a' hub caps An' his back seat full a' When we picked him up and made him his heels I says, "Hands the wall, boy You allowed t' make one We gonna hafta get this situation under control Cause, see, I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Willard We the Pottawattamie Rip-off Patrol."
Then Orval Hinkle left the Go-Go on his brand-new motor-sickle Runnin' stop-lights, raisin' hell an' causin' His brain was wheelies An' his blood was three-two When we nailed him in his at his residence I says, "Orval, in trouble boy But if you'll blow this balloon up We gonna get situation under control Now I'm Captain Fairweather Lewis an' here's Willard Clark We the Pottawattamie Juice Patrol."
Then we's passin' by the Dew Drop Inn when he this woman scream So we on in an' parked an' got the guns out Well we bashed on through the lobby into unit There's twenty-eight in there without no clothes on. I says "Everbody up against the show us yer identification. We just gonna definitely get this situation control 'Cause my name is Fairweather Lewis, an' this Willard Clark We the County Sin Patrol."
C'mon, Willard, let's go 'round in the dark some more, never know what yer gonna find.