(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Davis)
Now Arnold Jones an' MaryBeth Jensen's in a 'Vette down by the Rock Had Denver on the 8-track, gettin' high MaryBeth's wig was on the An' Arnold's was out the door When we shined our flashlight in startled eyes I says "What chew doin' Don't chew that's against the law? We just gonna hafta get this under control Now my is Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Willard Clark We the Pottawattamie County Patrol."
Then two hippies in a Chevy's puffin' grass an' wine 'Bout fourteen mile south-east a' Bluffs They's passin' 'round the When we caught 'em our flashlight An' Willard's hairy applied the cuffs. I says, "Boys you got some You herb-i-cide. We gonna hafta get this situation under control 'Cause I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' here's Willard Clark We the Pottawattamie County Patrol."
Then we spied ol' Marvin Kline south on twenty-nine Like a auto ac-cessory store on wheels His trunk was full a' hub An' his back seat full a' When we picked him up and him spread his heels I says, "Hands the wall, boy You allowed t' make one We just gonna hafta get situation under control Cause, see, I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' here's Willard Clark We the Pottawattamie Rip-off Patrol."
Then Orval Hinkle left the Go-Go on his brand-new motor-sickle Runnin' stop-lights, raisin' hell an' causin' His brain was doin' An' his blood was three-two When we him in his driveway at his residence I says, "Orval, in trouble boy But if you'll blow this here up We gonna get your situation under Now I'm Captain Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Willard We the Pottawattamie Juice Patrol."
Then we's passin' by the Dew Drop Inn when he heard this woman So we pulled on in an' parked an' got the out Well we bashed on through the into unit seventeen twenty-eight folks in there without no clothes on. I "Everbody up against the wall; show us yer identification. We just gonna definitely get this under control 'Cause my name is Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Clark We the County Sin Patrol."
C'mon, Willard, let's go sneakin' 'round in the dark some more, never know what yer find.