(C.W. McCall, Fries, Chip Davis)
Now Arnold Jones an' MaryBeth Jensen's in a down by the Deep Rock Had John on the 8-track, gettin' high wig was on the floor An' feet was out the door we shined our flashlight in Arnold's startled eyes I says "What doin' boy? chew know that's against the law? We just gonna get this situation under control Now my is Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Willard Clark We the County Love Patrol."
Then two in a Chevy's puffin' grass an' sippin' wine 'Bout fourteen mile south-east a' Bluffs passin' 'round the peace-pipe When we caught 'em our flashlight An' Willard's hairy hands the cuffs. I says, "Boys you got trouble You herb-i-cide. We just gonna get this situation under control 'Cause I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' here's Willard Clark We the Pottawattamie County Patrol."
Then we spied ol' Kline a-headin' south on twenty-nine a midnight auto ac-cessory store on wheels His trunk was full a' hub An' his back seat a' tires When we him up and made him spread his heels I says, "Hands the wall, boy You t' make one call We just gonna hafta get situation under control Cause, see, I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' this Willard Clark We the County Rip-off Patrol."
Then Orval Hinkle left the Go-Go on his brand-new motor-sickle Runnin' stop-lights, raisin' an' causin' accidents His was doin' wheelies An' his blood was beer When we him in his driveway at his residence I says, "Orval, you're in boy But if you'll blow this here up We gonna get situation under control Now I'm Captain Fairweather Lewis an' here's Willard Clark We the County Juice Patrol."
Then we's passin' by the Dew Drop Inn when he heard this woman So we pulled on in an' parked an' got the out Well we on through the lobby into unit seventeen There's twenty-eight in there without no clothes on. I says "Everbody up against the show us yer identification. We just gonna definitely get this under control 'Cause my name is Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Clark We the Pottawattamie Sin Patrol."
C'mon, Willard, let's go sneakin' 'round in the dark some more, never know what yer find.