(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Davis)
Now Arnold Jones an' MaryBeth Jensen's in a down by the Deep Rock Had Denver on the 8-track, gettin' high MaryBeth's wig was on the An' Arnold's was out the door When we shined our flashlight in Arnold's startled I "What chew doin' boy? Don't chew that's against the law? We gonna hafta get this situation under control Now my name is Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Clark We the Pottawattamie Love Patrol."
Then two in a Chevy's puffin' grass an' sippin' wine 'Bout fourteen south-east a' Council Bluffs They's passin' the peace-pipe we caught 'em with our flashlight An' Willard's hairy applied the cuffs. I says, "Boys you got trouble You herb-i-cide. We just gonna hafta get situation under control 'Cause I'm Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark We the County Weed Patrol."
Then we ol' Marvin Kline a-headin' south on twenty-nine Like a midnight ac-cessory store on wheels His trunk was full a' hub An' his seat full a' tires When we picked him up and him spread his heels I says, "Hands the wall, boy You allowed t' one call We just gonna hafta get situation under control Cause, see, I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' here's Willard Clark We the Pottawattamie County Patrol."
Then Orval Hinkle left the Go-Go Club on his motor-sickle Runnin' stop-lights, raisin' hell an' accidents His brain was doin' An' his blood was beer When we him in his driveway at his residence I says, "Orval, you're in boy But if you'll this here balloon up We get your situation under control Now I'm Captain Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Willard We the Pottawattamie Juice Patrol."
Then we's passin' by the Dew Inn when he heard this woman scream So we on in an' parked an' got the guns out Well we bashed on through the lobby into seventeen There's twenty-eight folks in there no clothes on. I says "Everbody up against the show us yer identification. We just gonna get this situation under control 'Cause my name is Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Clark We the Pottawattamie Sin Patrol."
C'mon, Willard, go sneakin' 'round in the dark some more, never know what yer gonna find.