Lets get fucked up and die

Let's get fucked up and die
I'm speaking figuratively, of course
Like the last time that I committed suicide
Social suicide

Yeah so I'm already dead on the inside
But I can still pretend
With my memories and photographs
I've learned to love the lie

I wanna know what it's like to be
Awkward and innocent, not belligerent
I wanna know how it feels to be
Useful and pertinent and have common sense, yeah

Let me in, let me in to the club
'Cause I wanna belong and I need to get strong
And if memory serves
I'm addicted to words and they're useless

In this department

Let's get fucked up and die
I'm riding hard on the last lines of every lie
And the BMX bike of my life is about to explode
I'm about to explode

I'm a mess, I'm a wreck
I am perfect and I have learned to accept
All my problems and short comings
'Cause I am so visceral yet deeply inept

I want to thank you for being a part
Of my forget me nots and Marigolds
And all the things that don't get old
Is it legal to do this? I surely don't know

It's the only way I have learned to express myself
Through other peoples descriptions of life
I'm afraid I'm alone and entirely useless

In this department

Let's get fucked up and die
For the last time with feeling we'll try not to smile
As we cover our heads and drink heavily into the night
That's no shock and surprise

I believe that I can
Overcome this and beat everything in the end
But I choose to abuse for the time being
Maybe I'll win but for now I've decided to die

Sister Soldier you've been
Such a positive influence on my mental frame
If I could ever repay you I would but I'm hard up for cash
And my memory lacks initiative

Goddamn the liquor store's closed
We're so close to scoring
It hurts, it destroys, 'til it kills
I am tired and hungry and totally useless

In this department