Even If It Kills Me

Ive got a lotta things to do tonight
Im so sick of making lists of things Ill never finish
Ive lived here for the last twelve years
Since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes

But if I had a little more time to kill
Id settle every little stupid thing
Yeah, youd think that I would

But Im too tired to go to sleep tonight
And Im too weak to follow dreams tonight

For the first time in a long time I can say
That I wanna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way

I wonder if Ill ever lose my mind
I tried hard for a while but then I kinda gave up
Winter is a killer when the sun goes down
Im really not as stubborn as I seem
Said the knuckle to the concrete

But Im too tired to go to sleep tonight
And Im too weak to follow dreams tonight

For the first time in a long time I can say
That I wanna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way

Im not saying that Im giving up
Im just trying not to think as much as I used to
Cause never is a lonely little messed up word
Maybe Ill get it right some day

For the first time in a long time I can say
That I wanna try
I feel helpless for the most part
But Im learning to open my eyes

And the sad truth of the matter is Ill never get over it
But Im gonna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way

I so wanna get back on track
And Ill do whatever it takes
Even if it kills me