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Prime Ministers office, Minister speaking
This is the secretary of war
At the state department of the United
We have a problem, the companies something done
About this sluggish world situation?
have been running a little thin lately
And we, we need to stimulate growth?

Now we know there's an alarmingly high number of people Roaming around in your country with nothing to do
But stir up trouble for the police and damage property
It doesn't look like they'll get a job?
about time we did something constructive with these people?
We've got thousands of 'em too, they're crawling all over

The companies think time we all sit down
Have a serious get-together and start war
The President, he the idea!
All those missiles streaming to and fro
Napalm, people running down the road, on fire

The Soviets up for it
The Kremlin's been itching for the real for years
Wanna little away present for Mr. Brejnev
Hell, no fun, so what do ya say?
We don't even have to win war
We just want to cut on some of this excess population?

Now look, just start up a
Draft as many of people as you can
We'll up every last youngster we can get our hands on
'em an hour or two to learn how to use an automatic rifle
And send 'em on their way, El Salvador, how Northern Ireland?
Or a "moderately repressive regime" in America?

We'll just cook up a Soviet threat story in the middle east?
We need oil, we had Libya all ready to go
And Colonel Khadafy's hit didn't even show up
I tell ya, man is unreliable
The Russians had their fingers on the
like we did for that one?

Now think for a minute, we can make this war so big, so big
The more people we kill in this war, the more the will prosper
We can get rid of everybody on your dole queue
If we plan this
Take every loafer on welfare right off our computer

Now don't worry about demonstrations, just pump up your supply
So many people have hooked on heroin
And amphetamines since we over, it's just like Vietnam
We had everybody so busy with LSD never got too strong
Kept the war functioning fine?

It's easy, we've got our college kids so in beer
They don't even care if we manufacturing germ bombs again
Put a nuclear stockpile in their yard
wouldn't even know what it looked like
So how 'bout it? I mean, look, war is

The arms tell me
Unless we get our bomb up to full production
The whole economy is to collapse
The Soviets are in the same
We all agree the time has for the big one

So what do ya [incomprehensible]
excellent, we knew you'd agree
The companies will be very

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