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Prime Ministers office, Minister speaking
This is the secretary of war
At the state department of the United
We have a problem, the companies want something
this sluggish world economic situation?
Profits have running a little thin lately
And we, we to stimulate some growth?

Now we know there's an alarmingly high number of young people Roaming around in your country with to do
But stir up trouble for the police and private property
It doesn't look like ever get a job?
It's time we did something constructive with these people?
got thousands of 'em here too, they're crawling all over

The think it's time we all sit down
Have a serious get-together and start war
The President, he the idea!
All those missiles overhead to and fro
Napalm, running down the road, skin on fire

The seem up for it
The Kremlin's been itching for the real thing for
Wanna little going away present for Mr.
Hell, no fun, so what do ya say?
We don't have to win this war
We just to cut down on some of this excess population?

Now look, just up a draft
Draft as many of those as you can
call up every last youngster we can get our hands on
Give 'em an or two to learn how to use an automatic rifle
And send 'em on their way, El Salvador, how 'bout Ireland?
Or a "moderately regime" in South America?

We'll just cook up a good Soviet threat story in the east?
We need oil, we had Libya all ready to go
And Khadafy's hit squad didn't even show up
I tell ya, that man is
The had their fingers on the button
Just we did for that one?

Now just for a minute, we can make this war so big, so big
The more people we kill in this war, the more the economy prosper
We can get rid of everybody on your dole queue
If we plan this
Take every loafer on welfare off our computer rolls

Now don't worry about demonstrations, just pump up drug supply
So people have hooked themselves on heroin
And amphetamines since we took over, it's just like
We had everybody so busy LSD they never got too strong
Kept the war just fine?

It's easy, we've got our kids so interested in beer
They don't even care if we start manufacturing bombs again
Put a nuclear in their back yard
They wouldn't even what it looked like
So how 'bout it? I mean, look, war is

The manufacturers tell me
Unless we get our bomb factories up to full
The economy is going to collapse
The Soviets are in the same
We all agree the has come for the big one

So what do ya [incomprehensible]
That's excellent, we knew agree
The companies be very pleased

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