Kenny G vs. Richard Marx

[Kenny G]
Are you ready?

[Richard Marx]
Oh, I'm ready

[Kenny G]
I brought my horn, what'd you bring?

[Richard Marx]
I brought some game

[Kenny G]
Joshua

[Beatboxer Josh Silverstein]
Mmhmm

[Kenny G]
Do you know what to do?

[Beatboxer Josh Silverstein]
I do

[Kenny G]
Do it

[Round 1: Kenny G]
I'm the biggest sax player in the entire world
I've got skills with these fingers, just ask your girl
Your career went down the toilet so fast, it was crazy
The only thing that saved you was marrying Daisy
I'll hit you so hard with every note that I can blow
You'll be covered in smooth jazz from head to toe
Sorry, bro
But when it's time for bed, your music sets the mood right
Works every time, puts me out like a light

[Richard Marx]
Alright, let's try this. Joshua, please

[Round 1: Richard Marx]
I owe you a debt, so I should leave you alone
'Cause your music made my son quit the saxophone
You started playing sax at the age of ten
And from that point forward, sax was never cool again
You calling me a loser? I don't think you understand
I go home to Daisy Fuentes, you go home to your hand
You should've known better than to even try
Hold onto the nights, 'cause tonight you're gonna die

[Richard Marx]
I'm not done

[Kenny G]
No?

[Richard Marx]
The only battle you're gonna win is against your hair-straightener

[Kenny G]
Whoa. If it's gonna get that way... Joshua, it's gonna get that way

[Round 2: Kenny G]
That's as good as you'll get, and even that was subpar
You must be super nervous up against a superstar
You were big in the '80s, but that ship sailed
Your lovemaking's like your career, it failed
My horn is real long and you know it's super hot
Your problem, Little Richard, is you can't find the G spot
You think these girls are some sort of fad?
Someone call Ryan Seacrest to come pick up his dad

[Richard Marx]
If I had a nickel for every time I said to someone "I'm gonna go rap-battle Kenny G," I'd have a freakin' nickel. Joshua, let's do this

[Round 2: Richard Marx]
I know something about Kenny that's more than a rumor
He has to get his hair cut by a poodle-groomer
He has the longest note played, that record is great
It shows Kenny can blow for 45 minutes straight
Think you're a legend? Dude, you couldn't be more wrong
Not a soul in this world knows even one of your songs
Sadder than sad, like a dog without a bark
You're even softer than Richard Marx!

[Kenny G]
I like how you had to battle yourself to beat me. Joshua, it's time for the final slay

[Round 3: Kenny G]
It's a well-known fact, I can sax all night long
But you can't even last as long as one of your songs
You keep looking at my instrument, you got that feeling?
But the ladies call me for that "saxual healing"
I'll shove this saxophone so far up your colon
Your overinflated head will get even more swollen
Rap against me? You'll regret the day you were born
Now break out those knee pads, bitch, and, Little Boy Blue, come blow my horn

[Richard Marx]
By the way, I don't think we've ever heard you sing before, and now we know why. Last one, Joshua, please

[Round 3: Richard Marx]
I just figured out something that's bugged me forever
You're Skeletor and He-Man if they had a kid together
That circular breathing shit sounds like Darth Vader
Only place you're big is in a fucking elevator
We got Kenny Loggins, Kenny Rogers, Kenny Chesney
Musically, you aren't even in the top 3 Kennys
So wherever you go, whatever you do

[Richard Marx singing]
I will be right here hating on you