Just Rob Me

I met a pretty girl the next town over
Running like a river, thin and long
Other than her dress, she looked mighty well depressed
So I asked this pretty lady what was wrong

She said, "All my life I tried to be an outlaw
I've tried to spit and chew and steal and rob
But I ain't no good at thievin'
So I might as well be leavin'
I think I'm off to go and get a job".

I told that pretty girl, "Don't be so foolish
Don't be so quick to leave this life of crime
Now see, I'll be quick to call it
You can practice on my wallet
And that way if you're caught, you won't do time".

Yeah, just rob me!
Just rob me!
A pretty face like yours don't come for free
If I can call you honey
Well, then you can take my money
Oh, darlin' keep my gun and just rob me
Yeah, just rob Sean Watkins

So I saw this girl again a few months later
To see her with my gun was a relief
I said, "Honey, you got attributes
Like lace and lips and high-heeled boots
But dearie, you're just no good at... as a thief".

She said, "Mister, how do you know that I'm failin'?
I might as well rob twenty banks today".
Yeah, so I looked into her eye
And I said "Dear, I'd be surprised,
You're pointing that there gun the wrong way".

Yeah, just rob me!
Just rob me!
Oh, money never did grow up on trees
"Oh, you're no good at crookin'
But you're mighty fine at lookin'".
Darlin', keep my gun and just rob me!

Oh, maybe every woman is an outlaw
I'm pretty sure they're pretty thieves in black
They'll make you scream like smoke!
And then they'll rob you broke!
I suppose you don't mind being robbed like that

So, my pretty thief and I started a family
My outlaw's been givin' me in-laws
Oh, she kept her thievin' art
And sure as rain, she stole my heart
She tells me it's all for a worthy cause

Yeah, just rob me!
Just rob me!
Deep down my darlin' is a thief
Oh, she may do the dishes
But I pay her for my kisses
I know it's not malicious
She's just in the thievin' business
She calls herself my Misses
But she's got me by the britches
I say honey, keep my gun and just rob me!