Johnny Tarr

Lemme tell you a little story
About a man named Johnny Tarr
He was a hard drinking son of a preacher
Always at the bar

Lager from the tap
Or shots of Paddy from the shelf
He could open his throttle
And throw back a bottle
As quick as the Devil himself, Johnny Tarr

And the word got around
That Johnny Tarr was no pretender
From Claire to here they'd lock up the beer
When Johnny went on a bender

Down at Dickey Mack's
The Rising Sun, or at the Swan
He was drinking at seven, by ten to eleven
Well, all the booze would be gone, Johnny Tarr

And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it
But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you
Sure I wasn't there, I swear I have an alibi
I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it's true

It was nine in the morning
On a cold and rainy night
Johnny walked into the Castle Bar
Looking to get tight

He had money in his pocket
He had whiskey in his eye
He said, "Get up off your asses
And set up the glasses
I'm drinking this place dry"

Now all the serious boozers
They were soon broken hearted
When Johnny finished off six
And he was only getting started

Guzzling down the pints
Knockin' em back like candy
He was lookin' alright to be drinkin' all night
Then Nora brought out the brandy, Johnny Tarr

And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it
But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you
Sure I wasn't there, I swear I have an alibi
I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it's true

Johnny drank the whole damn bottle
Had another pint or two
When it made no impression
He started a session with Murphy's Millennium Brew

He was waiting for his pint
When his face turned green
Jesus, Johnny fell down
After only fifteen

And you could've heard a pin drop
Then the crowd let out a roar
It took five Cork women
To lift Johnny off the floor

The doctor looked him over
And said, "Better call the hearse
But it's not what you're thinkin'
It wasn't the drinkin' this man died of thirst" Johnny Tarr

And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it
But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you
Sure I wasn't there, I swear I have an alibi
I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it's true

And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it
But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you
Sure I wasn't there, I swear I have an alibi
I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it's true