I'll tell you a story that to me One day as I went to Youghal by the Sea The sun it was bright and the day it was Says I, "A quiet wouldn't do me no harm"
I to the barman, I says, "Give me a stout" the barman, "I'm all the beer tis sold out Try whiskey or vodka, ten in the wood" I, "I'll try cider, I heard that it's good"
Oh never, oh never, oh again I live to a or a hundred and ten I to the ground and I couldn't get up After drinking a of the Johnny Jump Up
After lowering the third I headed straight for the Where I bumped Brophy the big civic guard "Come here to me boy you we're the law" I upped with my fist and I shattered his jaw
He fell to the ground with his knees up For t'wasnt I hit him t'was the johnny And the next thing I met down in by the Sea Was a cripple on crutches, and he to me
"I'm afraid o' me life be hit by a car you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar" And after three pints of cider so sweet He threw his crutches and he danced on his feet
Oh never, oh never, oh again I live to a hundred or a and ten I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up After drinking a pint of the Johnny Up
Now I went up the Lee Road a for to see call it the Madhouse in Cork by the Lee But when I got up there, the I do to tell had the poor bugger locked up in his cell
Says the guard testing him, "Say these if you can 'Around the rugged rocks the rascal ran'" "Tell them I'm not crazy, them I'm not mad T'was only six pints of cider I had"
Now a man died in the Union by the name of They him and placed him outside on a slab And after the coroner his measurements did His wife took him home to a bloody wake
'Twas about twelve o'clock and the it was high The he sat up and he says with a sigh I can't get to heaven, won't let me up I bring them a pint of the Johnny Jump Up
Oh never, oh never, oh never If I to a hundred or a hundred and ten 'Cause I to the ground and I couldn't get up After drinking a of the Johnny Jump Up (2x)