Irving The Shark

I was laying in the water
Down in Islamorada
sipping on a tropical drink
starin' at the water
I was dreaming of this girl there
when this shark swam
right uo too my feet

I said howdy Mr.Shark
Please don't you eat me
He said his name was Irving
And he wouldn't
he said he came to talk
he was appalled that my job
didn't get me all the women
that I wanted

Irving said I was too nice
needed meaness and more vice
need to knock them down
and them try to stomp them
I said that I would try it
but he really didn't but it
cause he said that he would
eat me if I didn't

chorus:
Shark,Shark,Shark, Irving the shark
God I want to be like him
Shark,Shark,Shark, Irving the shark
They come back again and again

So later late that night
After playing I was tired
A pretty little lady
looked and smiled
I walked up to her
She said she loved me sure
So I knocked her down
And threw her in the water

She screamed with delight
Said she loved a good fight
She grabbed mr by the hair
And pulled me under
She stuffed coral in my mouth
Started knocking me about
Screaming blackbelt third degree
that's my number

Chorus

They found me the next day
By a mooring in the bay
I was half dead
But later I recovered
I went looking for that shark
Gonna kill him sell his psrts
Then it dawned it was a dream
That went asunder

If there's a moral to this song
You gotta keep it moving on
Just stay the way you are
And have a beer
If they think you gotta change
Just look at them real strange
And tell them
They can stick it in their ear

Chorus:
Shark,Shark,Shark, Irving the shark
I'm never gonna be like him
Shark,Shark,Shark,Irving the shark
The women he attracts like Jungle Jim

So I'll stay the way I am
If you like me that's just fine
If you don't life's a bitch
But I don't mind
So I'll keep on writing songs
trying to make it right or wrong
And someday you'll be moved
Within my songs

Chorus:
Shark,Shark,Shark,Irving the shark
I'm never gonna be like him
Shark,Shark,Shark,Irving the shark
The women he attracts
Like Richard Simmons