Intro [Explicit]

May I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the real slim shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real slim shady please stand up?
Were gonna have a problem here...
{verse 1}
Yall act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like pam like tommy just burst in the door
Started whoopin her ass worst than before
They first were dirvorced sold her old furniture (scream)
Its the return of the
"awww wait, no way, your kidding
He didnt just say what I think he did, did he? "
And dr dre said...
Nothing you idiots dr dres dead hes locked in my basement (haha)
Feminist women loved eminem
Chicka chicka chicka slim shady Im sick of him
Look at him walking around grabing his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who (yea but hes so cute though)
Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than whats going on in your parents bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on tv and let loose,
But cant, but its cool for tom green to hump a dead moose
"my bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips
And if Im lucky u might just give it a little kiss"
And thats the messege we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a womens *vagina* is
Of course theyre gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit 4th grade,
They got the discovery channel dont they?
We aint nothing but mammals, well some of us cannibals
Who *rip* other people open like canolopes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then theres no reason that a man and another man cant elope (ughh)
But if you feel like I feel I got the antadoite
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the And it gooooesss
ain)
Im slim shady
Yes Im the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So wont the real slim shady...
Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
Cause Im slim shady
Yes Im the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So wont the real slim shady...
Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
{verse 2}
Will smith dont gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so *f---* him and *f---* you too
You think I give a damn about a grammy?
Half of you critics cant even stomach me, let alone stand me
(but slim what if u win wouldnt it be weird?)
Why? so you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to britney spears
S--- christina aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to carson daily and fred durst
And hear them argue over who she gave *head* to first
Little *bitch* put me on blast on mtv
(yea hes cute but I think hes married to kim, hehe)
I should download a audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave eminem *head* (scream)
Im sick of you little golden boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I been sent in here to destroy you
And theres a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just dont give a *f---* like me
Who dress like me
Walk, talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing
But not quite me
ain)
{verse 3}
Im like a headtrip to listen to
Cause Im only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of yall
And I dont got to be false or sugar coat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
Wheather you like to admit it
Im better than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you wanna outkin kids like these albums like
Its funny cuz the rate Im going when Im 30
Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when Im *hard* jerkin Im jerking
But this whole bag of viagra isnt working
And every single person is a slim shady lurkin
He could be workin at burger king spitten on your onion rings
Were in the parking lot circling
Screaming I dont give a *f---*
With his windows down and system up
So will the real shady, please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up
And to be proud to out of your mind and out of control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Ha ha
Guess theres a slim shady in all of us
Fuck it, lets all stand up