I'm happily married a house and three mistresses Even the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is Got a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and Lexuses And all the I know got the big big breasteses I got a ten mansion on the beach a swimmin' pool filled up with the drool of Robin Leach Richer a Twinkie, I got so much cash That to me Paris Hilton is white trash I take forty-seven weeks of a year If people me off I can make 'em disappear Every time I I get a feature on the news The says "gesundheit" and hilarity ensues And how did I get to be the man I am? A god men, only without the tan It's simple, every time I to make a choice I just listen to my little inner voice, and he "Shave all the hair off your butt and glue it to nostrils" OK "Steal all the milk all the supermarkets and put it in the cows" "Find out which of rodent is the most flammable" OK "Let's see what fun we can make using only a chainsaw and Philbin" Yeah!
So how do I explain my little expressions Intuition, premonition, or demonic It could be God, an angel, or my dead Paul Or that nasty purple fuzzy thing that in my wall Doesn't matter, and to be honest I wanna know 'Cause thanks to him I've had to deal with an HMO And I can go show off my rocket powered solid gold I tell ya life is no much nicer with friends "Record an all-banjo tribute album" Done, and done. "Put on a tutu, two live wiener dogs to your face, and prance around the subway terminal 'Stop looking at me!'" OK "There's no reason not to have sex with a grater." Hmm, no, I not. "Set up a stand outside of K-Mart with a plate full of peas and a sign reading 'Take one!' If asks you what the hell your doing, give a button that says 'I asked about the peas!'"
He's become my best friend, with me to the end Thanks to him never live on Ramen noodles again And he's always by my side, every minute, hour it does get kinda creepy when I'm trying to take a shower Still I can't complain 'cause he made me And figured out it was the opossum milk that me itch If it seems weird the voice made me do it I don't question he says I just get up and get to it "Itemize everything in cat's litter box for the next seven years and a report to the President with a note saying 'Here!'" idea "It's time to out what urinal cakes taste like" If you say so "Get a black and horizontally striped suit, a mask, and a bowling ball with a small length of rope hanging it, and around the airport." Sounds fun "How old does a baby need to be it's too big to fit the toilet?" I don't know. Let's out. "Keep swallowing magnets until your can erase video tapes." do
So to that guy in my head I just say thanks For removin' my angst, so I'm no longer shootin' And now I own several banks, an inflatable watch And paid Justin to let me kick him in the crotch I followed his advice and now I'm makin' duckets If it wasn't for him I'd still be McNuggets So when life makes you feel like you stayed in bed Just to the voice in your head, and he'll say "Fat people are of toys. Go get some!" Yeah! "Build a 20 foot tall nude statue of Tony Goldmark warm margarine off a malnourished out of onions, pez, and lint." pleasure! "If Yanni want to be set on fire and shoved down a flight of stairs, surely he have said so explicitly by now." Yeah, I so. "Go to a McDonald's Playland, tie big Officier Big Mac thing to the back of your car, and drive at 90 mph. When a cop pulls you over, roll down the window and ask 'WHAT?'" You got it! "Move to New and become a comedy rap artist." Oh... do I to?