If Only

forgive me such idle repetition
but i'm not stirred by this competition
too soft to be unmoved
but enough is enough
to have the power to do whatever i choose

anything on offer is forbidden
i disgust myself, i'm too all-forgiving
what's enjoyment, what is perfection
when you lose sight of yourself
in your failing powers of recollection?

tomorrow's just one day away
i said the same thing yesterday
together whatever however forever

so why is it essential
to be calm and collected?
we all have crosses to bear
but do we all have to be resurrected?
yes i'm sure and i try to believe
but still i want more than you would give to me