I Met Someone Online

You were talking to yourself while everyone was conversating,
you were watching movies on tv.
You were playing with yourself while everyone was ovulating,
you were masturbating to tv.

Please. Don't text me on the phone.
My VCR at home, please work.
Please. Don't email me passed nine.
I met someone online. I'm in an online world beyond.

You were talking to yourself while everyone was out to dinner,
you were picture framing your email.
You were playing with yourself while everyone was spent in bed,
and you were contemplating your emails.

(chorus)

Oh. The internet is real.
Oh. The internet is everything in my life.

(Chorus)

You were talking to yourself while everyone was conversating,
you were all alone in your bedroom.