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Bắt đầu làm bài nào

By Roger Brown, O'Lochlainn and Donald Pleasence

I KNOW A PLACE THAT'S BUT SAFE,
OAK TREES GROW WITH PINE.
WHERE THE BIG BAD WOLF MEETS RED RIDING
AND THEY LAUGH AND GET JUST FINE.

AND WHEN I OF YOU AND THINK OF ME,
I WONDER YOU A WHICH IS ME.
WHEN THE STRIKES TWELVE,
IT BE SAFE FOR ME?

I KNOW A IN THE US OF A,
WHERE THE OF LIBERTY STANDS TALL.
WHERE A FAT PUSSY CAT AND A WHITE MOUSE
HAPPY AT A BALL.

AND I THINK OF YOU AND THINK OF ME,
I WONDER YOU A WHICH IS ME.
WILL THE FAT PUSSY CAT EAT THIS LITTLE WHITE FOR TEA?

SCOUSE IN ANIMO TO HIS FRIEND, GEOFFREY THE CAT

EAT ME, LET'S BE FRIENDS,
DON'T EAT ME, BE FRIENDS,
EAT ME, LET'S BE FRIENDS,
DON'T EAT ME, BE FRIENDS.

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HERE'S A SONG YOU MAY HEARD BEFORE, "SNOW UP YOUR NOSE FOR CHRISTMAS". HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!"

SNOW UP NOSE FOR CHRISTMAS...

SCOUSE LEFT THE STAGE AND JOINED THE CAT AT HIS TABLE.
"I CAN SEE YOU MEAN."
"I YOU WOULD."
"LOOK HERE, WE'VE GOT A LITTLE PLACE, WE IT 'THE DISCATEQUE'. HOW ABOUT A DRINK AND A DANCE AND SOME CONVERSATION?"
"WHY NOT?"
"I COME SCRATCHING ON YOUR CABIN DOOR."

SOON AFTER MIDNIGHT, SCOUSE HEARD A SCRATCH AND FAINT MEOW. GEOFFREY WAS WAITING OUTSIDE.
"WHAT'S THAT GOT THERE?"
"BRITISH BAG. A FEW PRESENTS FOR THE CATS."
"COME ON!"
"WHERE ARE WE GOING?"
"YOU'LL SEE."
ALONG THE MAIN CORRIDOR AND DOWN THREE FLIGHTS OF STEPS, TO A TRAP DOOR WHICH SWUNG IN EACH DIRECTION. A LITTLE DOOR MARKED 'DANGER! INSPECTION TRAP!'.
"THROUGH HERE."
SCOUSE FELT HIMSELF FALLING SPACE. HE LANDED WITH A BUMP.
"YOU, YOU HAD KILLED ME!"
"SUPPOSE SO. WHERE WE ARE?"
"NO?"
"INSPECTION SHAFT. ABOVE THE OCEAN HERE."
"IT'S COLD AND DAMP! IS, IS THE DISCATEQUE?"
"YES, IT'S A GOOD FOR DANCING."
"WHERE, ARE THE CATS?"
MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!... (cat noises)
"LET'S HAVE SOME LIGHT! A MOON! HEAVE-HO! MY HEARTY!"
A SMALL POT HOLE WAS OPENED. COULD SMELL THE SEA.
"WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A NOW AND AFTER THAT WE'LL SENTENCE YOU!"
"OH, FOR?"
"PRETENDING TO BE A BEING. ENGAGE, CHAPS! THE DANCE IS ON."
"THERE'S NO MUSIC?"
"WE THE MUSIC. EVER HEARD OF A CATERWAUL?"