(Chip Davis, Fries)
Now how many peppers did Peter Piper pick ta get himself a peck a' pickled peppers? But more importantly, how many pickles do you get in a peck, when you can't no peppers ta pick? And furthermore, who wants a pickle that's made from a pepper by a guy named Peter Piper? And in conclusion, how many pipers do you know that pick pickles? And how many Peters are pickled?
[The chorus, and how to sing it. Pay attention, 'cause there might be a quiz. C.W. and the backup singers sing line 1, then C.W. alone lines 2 and 3, then the backup singers alone sing lines 4 and 5.] Well, I know, and I don't care Go away an' leave me I don't know, and I don't He don't know, and he care About
Now how many ducks could a duck plucker pluck, if'n the duck plucker plucked until And more importantly, how many plucks would it take on a duck, 'til the plucker got duck plucker's arm? And furthermore, if the duck plucker died whilst pluckin' the duck, would you call it the fault of the duck? Or think now, would you say that the plucker had run out of ducks? And they called it "duck plucker's luck"?
[Chorus. See the instructions, above.] Well, I don't know, and I care Go an' leave me alone I don't know, and I care He don't know, and he care nothin'
Now how much wood could a woodpecker peck, whilst Peter was a-pickin' them peppers? And what if the became the pluckee, and the woodpecker's name was Chuck?
[Chorus. Yeah, one time.] Well, I don't know, and I care Go away an' leave me I know, and I just don't care He don't know, and he care About
[C.W.] got any idea how we gonna get outta this?
[Backup singers] We know.
[C.W.] Don't know,
[Backup singers] We care.
[C.W.] Yeah, I you don't care, neither.
[The music sorta peters out.]
[C.W.] good.