(Chip Davis, Fries)
Now how many peppers did Peter Piper pick ta get himself a peck a' pickled peppers? But more importantly, how many do you get in a peck, when you can't find no peppers ta pick? And furthermore, who wants a pickle that's made from a pepper by a guy named Peter Piper? And in conclusion, how many pipers do you know that pick pickles? And how many Peters are pickled?
[The chorus, and how to sing it. Pay attention, 'cause there might be a quiz. C.W. and the backup singers sing line 1, then C.W. alone sings lines 2 and 3, then the backup singers alone sing 4 and 5.] Well, I don't know, and I don't Go away an' me alone I know, and I don't care He don't know, and he don't About
Now how many could a duck plucker pluck, if'n the duck plucker plucked until dark? And more importantly, how many plucks would it take on a duck, 'til the plucker got duck plucker's arm? And furthermore, if the duck plucker died whilst pluckin' the duck, would you call it the fault of the duck? Or think now, would you say that the plucker had run out of ducks? And they called it "duck plucker's luck"?
[Chorus. See the instructions, above.] Well, I don't know, and I care Go away an' leave me I know, and I don't care He know, and he don't care About
Now how much wood could a peck, whilst Peter was a-pickin' them peppers? And what if the pluckor became the pluckee, and the woodpecker's name was Chuck?
[Chorus. Yeah, one time.] Well, I don't know, and I don't Go away an' leave me I don't know, and I don't care He don't know, and he don't nothin'
[C.W.] Boys got any idea how we get outta this?
[Backup singers] We know.
[C.W.] Don't know,
singers] We don't care.
[C.W.] Yeah, I know you care, neither.
[The music sorta peters out.]
[C.W.] good.