Luyện nghe bài hát Hypnagogue

I

Behind my walls are my Cats. And behind my Cats is a Peacock singing to me of my death and yours. I said to her "In the silence of an eye, I shall smile and arise, and see someone I used to know sleeping; in her room in her bed in her body I was in Paradise." I am awake in the sound of roses and a young girl's voice. We are drowning in the approaching shadows. I am dreaming and cannot it. I have seen.

(Dear the silence and the loss; we are born and fall. Dear Christ, you too are broken and lost and hanging like a Roman standard over us all.)

II

Behind the line of my skull that hides behind my hair and skin, I see the selfsame skull of my father, and beyond the skull of my father, the skull of my grandfather, and the skull of my great grandfather, whom I never knew. And so on this line unto the alpha and omega point at infinity. With my eye - this fire, this fly, that sees everything and smiles, and comprehends nothing, and dies - I see all around my head and that end. I have invented myself; I have created I am just a form of dream English, words stretched with skin and fear. From my eyes in my skull my father observes this immense and kaleidoscopic dream. By birth I am other than this. The mosquitoes rejoice in my skin. The lizard is on the ceiling above me. The shallow water pots deny the ants routes to food. There is no silence ever. The cicadas are omnipotent sound. The kampong is dark and still. I am not what I thought I was. I am not what I seem. Most of all, I am not what I am. I thought it was the news rushing down the wires, happy in death and fashion, spinning yo-yos and clacking its jaw, raising its eyes, mimicking dogs at play. The sun shuts down, and erases birdlight. And in this stunted eclipse I saw myself, some darkness at last tenously visible, love as the sweetest thing. Al Bowlly, Jack Buchanan, sing on, dreaming of the lamps and the beautiful ladies, bowed lips packed with blood, the staged kisses trembling under the placid stars, the coffee taken with cream and scones under the Viennese Moon; whilst we are weighed, we are judged, and twist in this storm like birds over sails.

III

I have caught the dead again: I click my
And they are, mercurial ghosts, formed
And so the dead do move, and shout,
And pray, and cry, and
And the eye on and one: the one shut
Catches the dead. The pass by.
God hovers us and shrieks
We don't the slightest crackle
Can't see the slightest
And we blur into our death and the great death
Whilst we chase chicks and dream of a paradise without wings or sorrow, Christ's tears fall over Jerusalem. The curtains are groggy with damp, and the rails, and the tracks and the tacks, and the black and the bats, and the shrivelled shrill lights trip and laugh over the weeds and the blossoms, and throats open shut and sigh. I am the and the sun, the rising and the setting, the first and final breaths, and the product of the stars. I am some immortal and pointless dust.
Two bodies lie in bed for their brief moment together in eternity; the memory holds still; we watch the fireflies kiss the night and turn their backs on the Way forever, as our eyes shower sweetness upon each other.

IV

I caught a glimpse of eyes
Last in a restless dream
Awaking out of green field seas stars
Your eyes arose like the spectres of
I out the light and clicked fast the door
The fell
I had so many thoughts, so many
I made of nothing at all
This green dream was the crickets sing
Across deserts and plains the feast
shimmering teeth are marking the passing of time
A cloud falls; a bird and sings, its beak stained with night
Pure gold: the is waiting, the darkness is hungry,
The deep is angry, and the rings on
A film screen descends, and the silent movies
Keaton falls and rots, as Big Ben sings and boils
On an endless the silence is treacle thick
And calls us to paint God with your blood
And fill haunted women with knives and
And gauges and valves and make them weep hymns
To and clumsy mortality whilst fish descend
Remember, the burning ember
Embedded in your the soul watches TV
And gorges itself on and popcorn
Now that's I call decay decline and hard times
Hard times, hard times, Mr. Lindsay,
Hard times and winter so you have stopped my watch
At the of three and call for the police
But there's a time for tea and a for expiring
And the notice to quit is in the
And you should know:
cow and calf is gonna die

V

I was awake,
Of new to run to and hide within
And new to wear
And new to inhabit
And new to guzzle
And how I
The moon, and its of seeds
The moon tiding in body
The smell of blood breathing
And its taste in the sea in the south shining my
it seemed as if they were made of dew
With pearls of huge
Whilst your breath was
The hand my clock
And one each breath I came
To my and shining end

VI

All long summer
Under the fly-dance and the thumbthick
The of you smiling
And laughing children
me
Typecast and
ghost gorgeous:
There is a so profound
So and risen:
Torment, valley
Slumbering our lips
And the lies we thoughtlessly
I knew essence once
At our time when the and I touched you
In the slanting room, south of the past
Between your belly and
This was a deceitful paradise.
as we created it
And destroyed in
So blood is lacking now
I dreamt for your bit lips, haunted like
In the ecstatic arch of
You and the night, you and the
You and tomorrow, you and the
away: stay away: stay away:
What we want we have
And wanting all the
I slept on words and and texts
Of useless want, staring at the
And finally you finally finally lost you finally
As the moon swept and wept.

VII

morning: How are you?
I called to say
I saw you dreaming of
Of large wars, bigger

I am to say:
Your houses are
Your children are full of
The horses are dead and the butterflies
God is
The is in the air
And the depths
I at us all

Good
The clouds of smoke
Arise full of eyes of eyes
sons are suffocating their sisters
And painting eyes on the
tongues dipped in blood
Arise arise of eyes of eyes
And from the
I to us all

morning
I have the face that lies
I have seen the that smile
With smiles arise arise
Look look: I have read a a book
has spelt out the future

And from the
I see a king arise
With on his forehead many eyes
And he is on a a horse a horse
With a train of smoke its hooves
And I must say my depths
I seen a story emerge from a cloud of wings
arise from eyes from eyes
And a is sss6een is sss6een is sss6een

the depths beauty
And the depths loss
From the depths the depths
I have and added and have seen you all
Your children are and waiting for you

The sun has already set
You
And behind it the moondfaced
Blue; pearl; white: mouth
of hopes, of dreams, of fur
Catching the moths
dust in the dusk
Caused you to open alone and
Goodbye to us all in the room
In the eyewhite, room
In the bed,
the dead:
Santa Rita, ora pro
I at you
And touched the
Hid concrete and cruelty
Credo quia est
That the rise, rise, rise
And in the blink, in the
Of your eye, Rita,
I saw you dart, as an eclipse
Whilst the twilight made a
All around your
And I saw and was

IX

In
You are
As the tip of the tongue collapses towards the
And the waters of dream around
You are there: You are
and silently
You are the of the wave
And birds, all birds, in the distance
Their face at
profound and terrible armies surge
And foreign towns collapse under the weight of terrors
All the dead advance, armies,
Martyrs for the Blood, the Sign, the
And
The animals all sorted too
I have judge me at
God's hand
And the cats that from the dirt and the filth
And the and the scabby
The tortured the the tortured
I see at night before I drift
my sleep they gambol and play
And chase or Children or Giants
They play and click their eyes
They laugh, and tea at six
laugh as they tumble
And have the size of cloudbursts
And grip us and take us down to the
And we and expire and

I cannot bear this all any more. Not enough silence. But in the desert I sometimes see ships and hear the diamond express near the station before mine. Caesar: where are you going? He said to me, grinning:

You will the Kingdom
a bow and a sweep
You will reach the
I caught and tortured Time
And I

We are surrounded for the last 2000 years by a EMPIRE OF DEATH and EMPIRE OF BLOOD: this was all after the Crucifixion:
i uflow tou plhrhw xaritow kai elhyeiaw.
So try to remove whatever may dream or spill or seed or on your breath:
Or your silence will seep the something you wished to avoid
It will be seen fine day, all right, yes, all right:
"I will make you mine,", just you and I, whilst our breaths pass between us and off to mausoleums of desires and hopes.
When my friends pass into the goodbye before my eyes
And I too move with them: sound, just words
Left floating the streets, and the ears:
And the of the people who were with me: I was in them
And they were in me. And off they go, a pint in hands,
A glint in their eye, and I see tambourines drearily out
The pavine carnival "now you see'em, now you don't"
I did not want the world to stop; and I have it rush past me
As a ferocious fury, but such angelic fury, and I was taking the Temperature of a thousand changes of mind: I might you now, but perhaps I shall wait till the postman comes for toast and - With notes of the obsequies at 12 -
With teeth on edge at the faint sound of the swans charging at the trees that you built swings on and killed under and dreamt under
With your beloved in first and last virginal Summer
When you entered this world of blood and
And coupled under the Sun
And gave to children in your cries

I am to die.
I am to die.
I am to die.

"Jesus snorted; he was moved to his guts;" and the dust was everywhere, and Pilate arose in his fury. You have a boat waiting, friend, and it is time to board: all aboard, all aboard. "We don't save the living here." (The cyclamen at evening, and the world was gentle tonight; summery, hints of rose and rouge in the sky in the north over the dome of the glassgreenhouse.) Pilate arose. And washed his hands. I washed my hands; I cleared dust of them; I can see specks of blood laughing upon them. Pilate washes his hands. He arose and washed his hands. And the sword fell.

Meanwhile, in the house with nothing at home: in the cafe with plates of liver and kidneys and offal; in the slaughterhouse near the schoolyard; in the damaged rooms of the schoold ma'am at in the fallen arches of the brilliant silence, coloured at dawn, and twilit by the twittering of birds; in the moon shining down on the shrew on my step; at the freshly cut grass; at the sound of the bell making toast or tea or time buzz by with loud whoops of shouting "I am here I am there; catch me if you can, catch me if you dare". At all th4ese moments, and all these daydreams, and all our breaths which dream idly into deaths, deaths: at all these deaths, I remember you beautiful with love and fear with swooping hair biting the words our of your mind, and delivering them to me hating to pass the time, which swept by, as proud as a ghost, whilst we tossed coins to see who would disappear first.