Luyện nghe bài hát Hypnagogue

I

Behind my walls are my Cats. And behind my Cats is a Peacock singing to me of my death and yours. I said to her "In the silence of an eye, I shall smile and arise, and see someone I used to sleeping; in her room in her bed in her body I was in Paradise." I am awake in the sound of roses and a young girl's voice. We are drowning in the approaching shadows. I am dreaming and cannot hold it. I have seen.

(Dear Christ: the silence and the loss; we are born and fall. Dear Christ, you too are broken and lost and like a Roman standard over us all.)

II

Behind the line of my skull that hides behind my hair and skin, I see the selfsame skull of my father, and beyond the skull of my father, the skull of my grandfather, and the skull of my great grandfather, whom I never knew. And so on this line unto the alpha and omega point at infinity. With my eye - this fire, this fly, that sees everything and smiles, and comprehends nothing, and dies - I see all around my head and that end. I have invented myself; I have created myself; I am just a form of dream English, words stretched with skin and fear. From my eyes in my skull my father observes this immense and kaleidoscopic dream. By birth I am other than this. The mosquitoes rejoice in my skin. The lizard is on the ceiling above me. The shallow water pots deny the ants routes to food. There is no silence ever. The cicadas are omnipotent sound. The kampong is dark and still. I am not what I thought I was. I am not what I seem. Most of all, I am not what I am. I thought it was the news rushing down the wires, happy in death and fashion, spinning yo-yos and clacking its jaw, raising its eyes, mimicking dogs at play. The sun shuts down, and erases birdlight. And in this stunted eclipse I saw myself, some darkness at last tenously visible, love as the sweetest thing. Al Bowlly, Jack Buchanan, sing on, dreaming of the lamps and the beautiful ladies, bowed lips packed with blood, the staged kisses trembling the placid stars, the coffee taken with cream and scones under the Viennese Moon; whilst we are weighed, we are judged, and twist in this storm like birds over sails.

III

I have the dead again: I click my eyes
And there are, mercurial ghosts, formed
And so the dead do move, and shout,
And pray, and cry, and
And the eye on and one: the one shut
Catches the dead. The pass by.
God hovers us and shrieks
We don't hear the slightest
Can't see the slightest
And we into our death and the second great death
Whilst we chase and dream of a paradise without wings or sorrow, Christ's tears fall over Jerusalem. The curtains are groggy with damp, and the rails, and the tracks and the tacks, and the black and the bats, and the shrivelled shrill lights trip and laugh over the weeds and the blossoms, and throats open shut and sigh. I am the moon and the sun, the rising and the setting, the first and final breaths, and the product of the stars. I am some immortal and pointless dust.
Two bodies lie in bed for their brief moment together in eternity; the memory holds still; we watch the kiss the night and turn their backs on the Milky Way forever, as our eyes shower sweetness upon each other.

IV

I caught a of your eyes
Last night in a dream
Awaking out of green field blue stars
Your eyes arose like the spectres of
I out the light and clicked fast the door
The fell
I had so thoughts, so many signs
I made of nothing at all
green dream was unreal; the crickets sing
Across deserts and plains the feast
shimmering teeth are marking the passing of time
A falls; a bird shivers and sings, its beak stained with night
gold: the dark is waiting, the darkness is hungry,
The deep is angry, and the rings on
A film descends, and the silent movies play
Buster Keaton and rots, as Big Ben sings and boils
On an endless swamp; the is treacle thick
And calls us to prayer: paint God with your
And haunted women with knives and kites
And gauges and valves and make them weep hymns
To and clumsy mortality whilst fish descend
Remember, remember the burning
Embedded in your chest: the watches TV
And itself on blood and popcorn
Now what I call decay decline and hard times
Hard times, hard times, Mr. Lindsay,
times and winter so croool: you have stopped my watch
At the stroke of and call for the police
But a time for tea and a time for expiring
And the notice to quit is in the
And you should know:
Little cow and is gonna die

V

I was awake,
Of new dystopias to run to and hide
And new to wear
And new bodies to
And new to guzzle
And how I
The moon, and its of seeds
The moon in your body
The smell of your breathing
And its taste in the sea in the south my feet
Till it seemed as if they were of dew
With of huge beauty
Whilst mouselike breath was
The hand upon my
And one each I came nearer
To my silly and end

VI

All long long
the fly-dance and the thumbthick twilight
The thought of you
And laughing with
me
Typecast and
Smudged ghost
There is a love so
So and risen:
Torment, black
Slumbering between our
And the lies we wove
I knew essence once
At our time the sunset and I touched you
In the slanting room, south of the past
Between your belly and
This was a temporary paradise.
as we created it
And destroyed in
So much is lacking now
I dreamt for your bit lips, like waves
In the ecstatic arch of
You and the night, you and the
You and tomorrow, you and the
Stay away: stay away: away:
What we want we have
And wanting all the
I slept on and lines and texts
Of want, staring at the time
And finally lost you finally lost you finally
As the moon down and wept.

VII

morning: How are you?
I have to say
I saw you dreaming of
Of wars, bigger walls:

I am pleased to
houses are dead
Your are full of flame
The are dead and the butterflies fall
God is
The is in the air
And from the
I at us all

Good
The of smoke arise
Arise arise of eyes of eyes
sons are suffocating their sisters
And painting on the walls
tongues dipped in blood
Arise full of eyes of eyes
And the depths
I to us all

morning
I seen the face that lies
I seen the lips that smile
With smiles arise arise
Look look: I have read a a book
That has spelt out the

And the depths
I see a king arise
With on his forehead eyes eyes
And he is on a horse a horse a
With a train of behind its hooves
And I say from my depths
I seen a story emerge from a cloud of wings
Arise arise from from eyes
And a is sss6een is sss6een is sss6een

From the beauty
And from the loss
the depths from the depths
I have and added and have seen you all
Your children are dead and for you

The sun has just set
You
And behind it the moondfaced
pearl; white: opaline mouth
of hopes, of dreams, of fur
Catching the that
dust in the dusk
Caused you to open and sign
Goodbye to us all in the white
In the eyewhite, skullwhite
In the bed,
Amongst the
Rita, ora pro nobis
I at you
And the earth
Hid concrete and cruelty
Credo quia est
the dead rise, rise, rise
And in the blink, in the
Of your eye, Rita,
I saw you dart, as an eclipse
Whilst the twilight made a
All your passing
And I saw and was

IX

In
You are
As the tip of the tongue towards the teeth
And the waters of dream around
You are You are there
and silently
You are the of the wave
And birds, all birds, reel in the
face at dawn
Where and terrible armies surge
And foreign towns collapse under the weight of prophesied
All the dead advance, armies,
for the Blood, the Sign, the Wound
And
The animals all sorted too
I have judge me at
God's hand
And the cats arise from the dirt and the filth
And the starving and the
The tortured the tortured the
I see them at before I drift
During my sleep they and play
And chase or Children or Giants
They cards and click their eyes
They laugh, and tea at six
They as they tumble
And TEETH the size of cloudbursts
And grip us and take us down to the
And we sigh and and

I cannot bear this all any more. Not enough silence. But in the desert I sometimes see and hear the black diamond express near the station before mine. Caesar: where are you going? He said to me, grinning:

You will the Kingdom
With a bow and a
You will the Kingdom
I caught and tortured Time
And I

We are surrounded for the last 2000 years by a VAST EMPIRE OF DEATH and OF BLOOD: this was all after the Crucifixion:
i uflow tou yeou: plhrhw kai elhyeiaw.
So try to remove whatever may dream or spill or seed or spread on breath:
Or your silence will into the something you wished to avoid
It will be seen fine day, all right, yes, all right:
"I will make you mine,", just you and I, whilst our breaths between us and spiral off to mausoleums of desires and hopes.
When my pass into the great goodbye before my eyes
And I too move with them: without sound, just
Left through the streets, and the ears:
And the souls of the people who were me: I was in them
And they were in me. And off they go, a in their hands,
A glint in their eye, and I see tambourines clapping out
The pavine carnival "now you see'em, now you don't"
I did not want the world to and I have seen it rush past me
As a ferocious fury, but such angelic fury, and I was taking the Temperature of a thousand of mind: I might take you now, but perhaps I shall wait till the postman comes for toast and - With notes of the obsequies at 12 -
With your teeth on edge at the faint sound of the swans charging at the trees that you built on and killed under and dreamt under
With beloved in that first and last virginal Summer
When you entered this of blood and belief
And coupled under the Sun
And gave birth to children in your

I am to die.
I am to die.
I am to die.

"Jesus snorted; he was moved to his guts;" and the dust was everywhere, and Pilate arose in his fury. You have a boat waiting, friend, and it is time to board: all aboard, all aboard. "We don't save the living here." (The cyclamen opens at evening, and the world was gentle tonight; summery, hints of rose and rouge in the sky in the north over the dome of the glassgreenhouse.) Pilate arose. And his hands. I washed my hands; I cleared dust of them; I can see specks of blood laughing upon them. Pilate washes his hands. He arose and washed his hands. And the sword fell.

Meanwhile, in the house with nothing at home: in the cafe with plates of liver and kidneys and offal; in the slaughterhouse near the schoolyard; in the damaged rooms of the schoold ma'am at in the fallen arches of the brilliant silence, coloured at dawn, and twilit by the twittering of birds; in the moon shining down on the shrew on my step; at the freshly cut grass; at the sound of the bell making toast or tea or time buzz by with loud whoops of shouting "I am here I am there; catch me if you can, catch me if you dare". At all th4ese moments, and all these daydreams, and all our breaths which dream idly into deaths, deaths: at all these deaths, I remember you beautiful with love and fear with swooping hair biting the words our of your mind, and delivering them to me hating to pass the time, which swept by, as proud as a ghost, whilst we tossed coins to see who would disappear first.