Humpty Dance

All right! Stop whatcha doin', cause I'm about to ruin
The image and the style that ya used to
I look funny - but yo I'm making money, see
So yo world I hope you're ready for me
Now gather round, I'm the new fool in town
And my sound's laid down by the Underground
I drink up all the Hennessy ya got on ya shelf
So just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a "umpty"
Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee
And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee
I'm steppin' tall, y'all, and just like Humpty Dumpty
You're gonna fall when the stereos pump me
I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky
I'm spunky, I like my oatmeal lumpy
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack
But sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
Hey yo fat girl, come here are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat; look at me, I'm skinny
It never stopped me from getting busy
I'm a freak, I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
I'm crazy, allow me to amaze thee
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me
I'm still getting in the girls' pants
And I even got my own dance

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doing, doing the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
That's all right cause I get things cookin'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
But ya can't get near me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B
All the girls they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really being sincere
Cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still getting paid
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge
Both how I'm living and my nose is large
I get stupid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid
I use a word that don't mean nothing, like looptid
I sang on "Doowutchalike", and if ya missed it
I'm the one who said, "Just grab 'im in the biscuits"
Also told ya that I like to bite
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write
All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance
And now I'm gonna do my dance

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doing, doing the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here
Oh, yeah!
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
Let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do--check it out

First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shaking and twitching kinda like I was smoking
Crazy wack funky
People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty
That's all right cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two people will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
Humping, funking, jumping
Jig around, shaking ya rump
And when a doo-doo chump punk points a finger like a stump
Tell him step off, I'm doing the Hump

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doing, doing the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doing the hump
Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Let's get stoopid!