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Father: Well Ryan, a big day. Your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new baby sister.
: baby sister
Father: That's right, sister.
Ryan : baby
Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when you're your new baby sister.
Ryan : saftey
Father: Okay, number one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby.
Ryan : wash
Do you know why?
: no
Father: Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby they can make the baby sick.
Ryan : germs baby sick
Father: That's right, that's right, Ryan. make baby sick.
Ryan : germs make the sick
Okay, rule number two.
Ryan : more
Father: Don't feed the anything.
Ryan : feed the baby.
That's right.
Ryan :
Well, because the baby needs to eat special baby food.
Ryan :
Father: Oh...well, food is bad for the baby.
: other food bad for the baby
Father: right, good. Now, rule number three.
: more rules
Father: Never take hot water near the baby because hot will burn the baby.
Ryan : water bad for the
Well, not all water, just hot water,
: yes
Father: Cause hot water burn the baby.
Ryan : i understand, daddy
Father: Okay, see glass of water that I'm drinking?
: yes
Father: Well, this is okay for the baby.
: yes
Father: Here, the glass.
: yes
Father: See, nice and cool.
: yes
Father: Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot can burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Father: Yes, hot burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Father: Yes, yes, hot burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby go in swimming pool?
Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool.
: yes
Father: alright.
: yes
Father: But the is bad because that water is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water the baby
Yes.
Ryan : hot burn the baby
Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take near the baby?
Ryan : yea, baby tea
Father: No Ryan, uh, I think you get it yet.
Ryan : no like tea?
Father: Well, I'm sure the will like tea, but what do you make tea with?
: ...hot water
Father: Right, and did we say about hot water?
Ryan : ...oh, hot water burn
Yes, hot water burn baby!
Ryan : hot water baby!
That's right so no tea near the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Yes.
Ryan : no take bath?
Father: No, bath is warm. Warm is okay.
: yes
Hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot water burn
Yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Father: I you're gettin' it!
Ryan : hot water burn
That's right, Ryan.
Ryan : hot water baby
NOW DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT!
Narrator: 30 later!
: Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out there?
Ryan : Just the discovery channel.
: Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about five minutes.
Ryan : Aw, baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled)
: Okay, honey!
: Yeah.
TV : The villagers of
Ryan :
TV : have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming infants into the community.
: (garbled)
TV : Unfortunately, the rate from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
: My God.
TV : That the Pasquan's low population.
: Yeah, it does.
TV : On the full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,...
: Deerskin.
TV : ...which have been passed from generation to generation.
: That's nice.
TV : The entire Pasquan population forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara.
Ryan :
TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, hand to hand, the circle...
: Wow.
TV : ...four times.
Ryan : times.
TV : for the sun,...
: Hmm.
TV : ...once for the moon,...
: The moon.
TV : ...once for the earth,...
: The earth.
TV : ...and for the wind.
: The wind, too.
TV : When the babies arrive in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs...
Ryan :
TV : ...where the ceremonial purification be completed.
Ryan : What are you saying
TV : As we watch, the mothers take their progeny out of the shells...
: No.
TV : ...and them into the steaming water.
Ryan : No! No! Hot water baby! Hot water burn baby!
That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Wife : Ryan! What's going on out Are you okay?
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Hot water burn most definitely burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Father: right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
You are a bitch, Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Wife : Ryan, are you
Father: Hot burn the baby!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
: Ryan!
Father: What are you do, whore?
: Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Bitch!
Wife : Ryan! going on out there?
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Whore!
Wife : Who are you to?
Bitch!
Ryan : I'm to the man!
Whore!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
: Ryan!
Father: Bitch! is a whore!

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