Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new sister. Ryan : sister That's right, baby sister. Ryan : sister Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some rules for when you're around your new baby sister. Ryan : saftey Father: Okay, rule number one: Always wash your before touching the baby. : wash hands Father: Do you why? : no Father: Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick. Ryan : make baby sick Father: right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick. : germs make the baby sick Father: Okay, rule two. Ryan : rules Father: Don't feed the anything. : don't feed the baby. Father: right. : why? Father: Well, the baby needs to eat special baby food. Ryan : Father: Oh...well, other is bad for the baby. Ryan : food bad for the baby Father: right, good. Now, rule number three. Ryan : rules Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby. Ryan : bad for the baby Father: Well, not all water, hot water, : yes Father: Cause hot water burn the baby. Ryan : i understand, daddy Father: Okay, see this glass of that I'm drinking? : yes Father: Well, water is okay for the baby. : yes Father: Here, the glass. : yes Father: See, it's and cool. : yes Father: Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot can burn the baby. Ryan : hot water baby? Father: Yes, hot water baby. : hot water burn baby Father: Yes, yes, hot water baby. Ryan : hot burn your baby Yes. Ryan : baby can't go in swimming Father: Oh no, the swimming is okay. Swimming pool water is cool. : yes Father: alright. : yes Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because water is hot and hot water will burn the baby. Ryan : hot water the baby Yes. Ryan : hot burn the baby Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that near the : yea, baby like tea Father: No Ryan, uh, I think you get it yet. Ryan : baby no like Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with? Ryan : ...hot Father: Right, and did we say about hot water? Ryan : ...oh, hot burn baby Father: Yes, hot burn baby! Ryan : hot burn baby! That's right so no tea near the baby. Ryan : hot water burn Yes. Ryan : no take bath? No, bath water is warm. Warm is okay. : yes Hot is bad. Ryan : yes...hot burn baby Father: Yes, hot burn baby. Ryan : hot water burn Father: I think gettin' it! Ryan : hot water baby That's right, Ryan. Ryan : hot burn baby Father: NOW YOU EVER FORGET THAT! Narrator: 30 later! Wife : Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out Ryan : Just watchin' the channel. : Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about five minutes. Ryan : Aw, great baby, aight, be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled) : Okay, honey! : Yeah. TV : The of Pasquan Ryan : TV : have a bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community. : (garbled) TV : Unfortunately, the death rate from ritual is a mortifying 90 percent. : My God. TV : That the Pasquan's low population. : Yeah, it does. TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional painted deerskin,... : Deerskin. TV : ...which have passed along from generation to generation. Ryan : nice. TV : The entire Pasquan population then forms a circle on the battlefield of Chin-Chara. : ya-yara TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, hand to hand, the circle... : Wow. TV : ...four times. Ryan : times. TV : for the sun,... : Hmm. TV : ...once for the moon,... : The moon. TV : ...once for the earth,... : The earth. TV : ...and for the wind. : The wind, too. TV : When the babies arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian hot springs... Ryan : TV : ...where the ceremonial purification be completed. Ryan : What are you saying TV : As we watch, the mothers take their out of the deerskin shells... : No. TV : ...and dunk into the steaming water. Ryan : No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot burn baby! That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby. Ryan : Hot burn baby! Wife : Ryan! What's going on out Are you okay? Ryan : Hot water baby! Father: Hot water most definitely burn baby. Ryan : Hot burn baby! Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby! Ryan : Hot burn baby! You are a bitch, Ryan! Ryan : Hot burn baby! : Ryan, are you alright? Father: Hot water the baby! Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan! Father: What are you gonna do, : Ryan! Ryan : Hot water baby! Bitch! Wife : Ryan! going on out there? Ryan : Hot burn baby! Whore! Wife : Who are you to? Bitch! Ryan : I'm to the man! Whore! Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan! Father: Bitch! is a whore!