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Father: Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new baby sister.
Ryan : sister
That's right, baby sister.
Ryan : sister
Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when you're your new baby sister.
Ryan : rules
Father: Okay, rule number one: Always wash your hands touching the baby.
: wash hands
Father: Do you know
: no
Father: Well, sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick.
Ryan : germs make baby
Father: That's right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make sick.
Ryan : germs the baby sick
Father: Okay, number two.
: more rules
Father: Don't the baby anything.
: don't feed the baby.
Father: right.
Ryan :
Father: Well, because the baby to eat special baby food.
Ryan :
Father: Oh...well, food is bad for the baby.
Ryan : food bad for the baby
Father: right, good. Now, rule number three.
: more rules
Father: Never take hot near the baby because hot water will burn the baby.
: water bad for the baby
Father: Well, not all water, hot water,
: yes
Father: Cause hot water burn the baby.
Ryan : i understand, daddy
Okay, see this glass of water that I'm drinking?
: yes
Father: Well, this is okay for the baby.
: yes
Father: Here, the glass.
: yes
Father: See, nice and cool.
: yes
Father: Now if this was hot water that would be bad hot water can burn the baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby?
Yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Father: Yes, yes, hot water baby.
Ryan : hot water burn your
Yes.
Ryan : baby go in swimming pool?
Father: Oh no, the pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool.
: yes
Father: alright.
: yes
Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because water is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water the baby
Yes.
Ryan : hot water burn the
Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that the baby?
Ryan : yea, like tea
Father: No Ryan, uh, I don't you get it yet.
: baby no like tea?
Father: Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but do you make tea with?
: ...hot water
Father: Right, and what did we say hot water?
Ryan : ...oh, hot water burn
Father: Yes, hot water baby!
: hot water burn baby!
Father: That's right so no tea the baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby no take
Father: No, bath water is warm. is okay.
: yes
Hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot water baby
Yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Father: I you're gettin' it!
: hot water burn baby
Father: right, Ryan.
Ryan : hot burn baby
NOW DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT!
Narrator: 30 later!
Wife : Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out
: Just watchin' the discovery channel.
Wife : Well, gonna be ready in about five minutes.
: Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled)
: Okay, honey!
: Yeah.
TV : The of Pasquan
: Pasquan
TV : have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming infants into the community.
: (garbled)
TV : Unfortunately, the death rate from ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
: My God.
TV : That the Pasquan's low population.
: Yeah, it does.
TV : On the full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,...
: Deerskin.
TV : ...which have passed along from generation to generation.
Ryan : nice.
TV : The entire Pasquan population then a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara.
Ryan :
TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, hand to hand, the circle...
: Wow.
TV : ...four times.
Ryan : times.
TV : for the sun,...
: Hmm.
TV : ...once for the moon,...
: The moon.
TV : ...once for the earth,...
: The earth.
TV : ...and for the wind.
: The wind, too.
TV : When the babies back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs...
Ryan :
TV : ...where the purification will be completed.
Ryan : are you saying here?
TV : As we watch, the mothers their progeny out of the deerskin shells...
: No.
TV : ...and dunk them the steaming water.
: No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot water burn baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby.
: Hot water burn baby!
Wife : Ryan! going on out there? Are you okay?
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Father: Hot water burn most burn baby.
: Hot water burn baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby!
: Hot water burn baby!
You are a bitch, Ryan!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan, are you alright?
Father: Hot burn the baby!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: What are you gonna do,
: Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Bitch!
Wife : Ryan! What's on out there?
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Whore!
Wife : Who are you to?
Bitch!
Ryan : I'm to the man!
Whore!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
: Ryan!
Father: Bitch! is a whore!

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