Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home the hospital with your new baby sister. Ryan : baby That's right, baby sister. Ryan : sister Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety for when you're around your new baby sister. Ryan : rules Father: Okay, rule number Always wash your hands before touching the baby. Ryan : wash Do you know why? : no Father: Well, because sometimes you have germs on your and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick. Ryan : make baby sick Father: right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick. Ryan : make the baby sick Father: Okay, number two. : more rules Father: feed the baby anything. : don't feed the baby. Father: right. Ryan : Father: Well, because the baby needs to eat baby food. : why? Father: Oh...well, food is bad for the baby. Ryan : other food bad for the That's right, good. Now, rule number three. Ryan : more Father: Never take hot water near the baby hot water will burn the baby. Ryan : bad for the baby Father: Well, not all water, hot water, : yes Father: Cause hot will burn the baby. : i don't understand, daddy Father: Okay, see this glass of water that I'm : yes Father: Well, this is okay for the baby. : yes Father: Here, the glass. : yes Father: See, it's and cool. : yes Father: Now if was hot water that would be bad because hot water can burn the baby. Ryan : hot burn baby? Yes, hot water burn baby. Ryan : hot water burn Father: Yes, yes, hot burn baby. Ryan : hot water burn your Yes. Ryan : can't go in swimming pool? Father: Oh no, the swimming is okay. Swimming pool water is cool. : yes Father: alright. : yes Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because that water is hot and hot water will the baby. Ryan : hot water burn the Yes. Ryan : hot burn the baby Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that the baby? Ryan : yea, like tea Father: No Ryan, uh, I don't you get it yet. Ryan : baby no like Father: Well, I'm the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with? Ryan : ...hot Father: Right, and what did we say hot water? Ryan : ...oh, hot burn baby Father: Yes, hot burn baby! Ryan : hot burn baby! Father: That's so no tea near the baby. Ryan : hot water burn Yes. Ryan : baby no take No, bath water is warm. Warm is okay. : yes Hot is bad. Ryan : yes...hot water burn Father: Yes, hot water baby. Ryan : hot water baby Father: I think gettin' it! Ryan : hot water baby That's right, Ryan. Ryan : hot burn baby Father: NOW DON'T YOU EVER THAT! Narrator: 30 later! Wife : Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out Ryan : watchin' the discovery channel. Wife : Well, dinner's gonna be in about five minutes. Ryan : Aw, baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled) : Okay, honey! : Yeah. TV : The villagers of Ryan : TV : have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants the community. : (garbled) TV : Unfortunately, the death rate from this is a mortifying 90 percent. : My God. TV : explains the Pasquan's low population. : Yeah, it does. TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,... : Deerskin. TV : ...which have been passed along generation to generation. : That's nice. TV : The entire Pasquan population then forms a on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara. : ya-yara TV : Each Pasquanian baby is passed, hand to hand, around the circle... : Wow. TV : ...four times. Ryan : times. TV : for the sun,... : Hmm. TV : ...once for the moon,... : The moon. TV : ...once for the earth,... : The earth. TV : ...and for the wind. : The wind, too. TV : When the babies arrive back in mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs... : What? TV : ...where the ceremonial purification be completed. Ryan : What are you here? TV : As we watch, the mothers take their out of the deerskin shells... : No. TV : ...and dunk them the steaming water. Ryan : No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot water baby! Father: right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby. Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you okay? Ryan : Hot water baby! Father: Hot water burn most burn baby. Ryan : Hot burn baby! That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby! Ryan : Hot burn baby! You are a bitch, Ryan! Ryan : Hot water baby! Wife : Ryan, are you Hot water burn the baby! Ryan : Hot burn baby! : Ryan! Father: are you gonna do, whore? : Ryan! Ryan : Hot burn baby! Bitch! Wife : Ryan! What's going on out Ryan : Hot burn baby! Whore! Wife : Who are you to? Bitch! Ryan : I'm to the man! Whore! Ryan : Hot burn baby! : Ryan! Father: Bitch! is a whore!