Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the with your new baby sister. Ryan : baby Father: right, baby sister. Ryan : sister Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go some safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister. : saftey rules Father: Okay, rule one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby. Ryan : hands Father: Do you why? : no Father: Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the cause they can make the baby sick. Ryan : germs make sick Father: right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick. Ryan : germs make the baby Father: Okay, number two. : more rules Father: feed the baby anything. Ryan : don't the baby. Father: right. : why? Father: Well, because the baby needs to eat baby food. : why? Father: Oh...well, other is bad for the baby. Ryan : other food bad for the Father: That's right, good. Now, number three. Ryan : more Father: Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will the baby. : water bad for the baby Father: Well, not all water, hot water, : yes Father: hot water will burn the baby. Ryan : i understand, daddy Okay, see this glass of water that I'm drinking? : yes Father: Well, this water is for the baby. : yes Father: Here, the glass. : yes Father: See, it's and cool. : yes Father: Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot can burn the baby. Ryan : hot burn baby? Father: Yes, hot water baby. : hot water burn baby Father: Yes, yes, hot water baby. Ryan : hot water burn your Yes. Ryan : can't go in swimming pool? Father: Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. pool water is cool. : yes Father: alright. : yes Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because water is hot and hot water will burn the baby. Ryan : hot water the baby Yes. Ryan : hot burn the baby Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that near the Ryan : yea, like tea No Ryan, uh, I don't think you get it yet. Ryan : baby no tea? Father: Well, I'm the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with? : ...hot water Father: Right, and did we say about hot water? Ryan : ...oh, hot water baby Yes, hot water burn baby! Ryan : hot burn baby! Father: That's right so no tea the baby. Ryan : hot water burn Yes. Ryan : baby no take Father: No, water is warm. Warm is okay. : yes Hot is bad. Ryan : yes...hot water burn Father: Yes, hot burn baby. Ryan : hot water burn Father: I think gettin' it! Ryan : hot water baby Father: right, Ryan. Ryan : hot water burn Father: NOW DON'T YOU EVER THAT! 30 year later! Wife : Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out Ryan : watchin' the discovery channel. Wife : Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about minutes. Ryan : Aw, baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled) : Okay, honey! : Yeah. TV : The villagers of : Pasquan TV : have a very and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community. : (garbled) TV : Unfortunately, the death from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent. : My God. TV : That explains the low population. : Yeah, it does. TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,... : Deerskin. TV : ...which have been along from generation to generation. : That's nice. TV : The entire population then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara. : ya-yara TV : Each Pasquanian is then passed, hand to hand, around the circle... : Wow. TV : ...four times. Ryan : times. TV : for the sun,... : Hmm. TV : ...once for the moon,... : The moon. TV : ...once for the earth,... : The earth. TV : ...and for the wind. : The wind, too. TV : When the babies arrive back in their hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs... Ryan : TV : ...where the purification will be completed. Ryan : What are you here? TV : As we watch, the mothers their progeny out of the deerskin shells... : No. TV : ...and dunk them the steaming water. Ryan : No! No! Hot burn baby! Hot water burn baby! That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby. Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you okay? Ryan : Hot water baby! Father: Hot burn most definitely burn baby. Ryan : Hot burn baby! Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby! : Hot water burn baby! You are a bitch, Ryan! Ryan : Hot water baby! Wife : Ryan, are you Father: Hot burn the baby! Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan! Father: What are you do, whore? : Ryan! Ryan : Hot water baby! Bitch! Wife : Ryan! What's on out there? Ryan : Hot burn baby! Whore! Wife : Who are you to? Bitch! Ryan : I'm to the man! Whore! Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan! Father: Bitch! is a whore!