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Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your coming home from the hospital with your new baby sister.
: baby sister
Father: right, baby sister.
Ryan : sister
Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for you're around your new baby sister.
Ryan : saftey
Father: Okay, rule number one: wash your hands before touching the baby.
Ryan : wash
Do you know why?
: no
Father: Well, sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick.
Ryan : germs baby sick
Father: That's right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make sick.
Ryan : make the baby sick
Father: Okay, rule two.
Ryan : more
Don't feed the baby anything.
Ryan : feed the baby.
That's right.
Ryan :
Father: Well, the baby needs to eat special baby food.
Ryan :
Father: Oh...well, food is bad for the baby.
Ryan : other food bad for the
Father: That's right, good. Now, number three.
Ryan : more
Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : bad for the baby
Well, not all water, just hot water,
: yes
Father: hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : i understand, daddy
Father: Okay, see this glass of water that I'm
: yes
Father: Well, this water is for the baby.
: yes
Father: Here, the glass.
: yes
Father: See, it's and cool.
: yes
Father: Now if this was hot that would be bad because hot water can burn the baby.
: hot water burn baby?
Father: Yes, hot water baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Yes, yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot water your baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby go in swimming pool?
Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool.
: yes
Father: alright.
: yes
Father: But the is bad because that water is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
: hot water burn the baby
Yes.
Ryan : hot water burn the
Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that the baby?
Ryan : yea, baby tea
No Ryan, uh, I don't think you get it yet.
Ryan : no like tea?
Father: Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea
: ...hot water
Father: Right, and did we say about hot water?
Ryan : ...oh, hot burn baby
Yes, hot water burn baby!
Ryan : hot water baby!
That's right so no tea near the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Yes.
Ryan : no take bath?
No, bath water is warm. Warm is okay.
: yes
Hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot burn baby
Father: Yes, hot water baby.
: hot water burn baby
Father: I think gettin' it!
Ryan : hot water burn
Father: right, Ryan.
Ryan : hot water burn
Father: NOW DON'T YOU FORGET THAT!
30 year later!
Wife : Hey, Ryan, are you doing out there?
Ryan : Just the discovery channel.
Wife : Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about minutes.
Ryan : Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. just wind down...(garbled)
: Okay, honey!
: Yeah.
TV : The of Pasquan
: Pasquan
TV : have a bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community.
: (garbled)
TV : Unfortunately, the death rate from ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
: My God.
TV : That the Pasquan's low population.
: Yeah, it does.
TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional painted deerskin,...
: Deerskin.
TV : ...which have been passed from generation to generation.
Ryan : nice.
TV : The entire Pasquan then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara.
Ryan :
TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, hand to hand, the circle...
: Wow.
TV : ...four times.
Ryan : times.
TV : for the sun,...
: Hmm.
TV : ...once for the moon,...
: The moon.
TV : ...once for the earth,...
: The earth.
TV : ...and for the wind.
: The wind, too.
TV : When the arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs...
: What?
TV : ...where the ceremonial will be completed.
Ryan : are you saying here?
TV : As we watch, the mothers take their progeny out of the shells...
: No.
TV : ...and dunk into the steaming water.
Ryan : No! No! Hot water baby! Hot water burn baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby.
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Wife : Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you
: Hot water burn baby!
Father: Hot water burn definitely burn baby.
Ryan : Hot water baby!
That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
You are a bitch, Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Wife : Ryan, are you
Father: Hot water the baby!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: are you gonna do, whore?
: Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Bitch!
Wife : Ryan! What's going on out
: Hot water burn baby!
Whore!
Wife : Who are you to?
Bitch!
Ryan : I'm to the man!
Whore!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
: Ryan!
Father: Bitch! is a whore!

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