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Father: Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new baby sister.
: baby sister
Father: right, baby sister.
: baby sister
Father: So, uh, I now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister.
Ryan : rules
Father: Okay, rule one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby.
Ryan : wash
Father: Do you know
: no
Father: Well, because sometimes you have germs on your and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick.
Ryan : germs make baby
Father: That's right, that's right, Ryan. Germs baby sick.
Ryan : make the baby sick
Okay, rule number two.
Ryan : rules
Father: Don't the baby anything.
Ryan : feed the baby.
Father: right.
: why?
Father: Well, because the needs to eat special baby food.
: why?
Father: Oh...well, other is bad for the baby.
Ryan : other food bad for the
That's right, good. Now, rule number three.
Ryan : more
Father: Never take hot water the baby because hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : bad for the baby
Well, not all water, just hot water,
: yes
Father: Cause hot will burn the baby.
: i don't understand, daddy
Father: Okay, see this glass of that I'm drinking?
: yes
Father: Well, water is okay for the baby.
: yes
Father: Here, the glass.
: yes
Father: See, it's and cool.
: yes
Father: Now if was hot water that would be bad because hot water can burn the baby.
: hot water burn baby?
Father: Yes, hot burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Father: Yes, yes, hot burn baby.
Ryan : hot water your baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby go in swimming pool?
Father: Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool is cool.
: yes
Father: alright.
: yes
Father: But the is bad because that water is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water the baby
Yes.
Ryan : hot water burn the
Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take near the baby?
: yea, baby like tea
Father: No Ryan, uh, I think you get it yet.
Ryan : baby no tea?
Father: Well, I'm sure the baby like tea, but what do you make tea with?
: ...hot water
Father: Right, and did we say about hot water?
Ryan : ...oh, hot burn baby
Yes, hot water burn baby!
Ryan : hot burn baby!
That's right so no tea near the baby.
Ryan : hot water baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby no bath?
No, bath water is warm. Warm is okay.
: yes
Hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot burn baby
Father: Yes, hot water baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Father: I you're gettin' it!
Ryan : hot water baby
That's right, Ryan.
Ryan : hot water baby
Father: NOW YOU EVER FORGET THAT!
30 year later!
Wife : Hey, Ryan, what are you out there?
Ryan : Just watchin' the channel.
Wife : Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about minutes.
Ryan : Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. just wind down...(garbled)
: Okay, honey!
: Yeah.
TV : The villagers of
: Pasquan
TV : have a very bizarre and way of welcoming their infants into the community.
: (garbled)
TV : Unfortunately, the death rate this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
: My God.
TV : That explains the low population.
: Yeah, it does.
TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in hand painted deerskin,...
: Deerskin.
TV : ...which have been passed along generation to generation.
Ryan : nice.
TV : The entire Pasquan then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara.
: ya-yara
TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, to hand, around the circle...
: Wow.
TV : ...four times.
Ryan : times.
TV : for the sun,...
: Hmm.
TV : ...once for the moon,...
: The moon.
TV : ...once for the earth,...
: The earth.
TV : ...and for the wind.
: The wind, too.
TV : When the babies arrive back in mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs...
Ryan :
TV : ...where the ceremonial will be completed.
Ryan : What are you here?
TV : As we watch, the take their progeny out of the deerskin shells...
: No.
TV : ...and dunk them into the water.
: No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot water burn baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby.
: Hot water burn baby!
Wife : Ryan! What's on out there? Are you okay?
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Father: Hot burn most definitely burn baby.
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
You are a bitch, Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
: Ryan, are you alright?
Father: Hot water the baby!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: What are you gonna do,
: Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Bitch!
Wife : Ryan! What's on out there?
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Whore!
Wife : Who are you to?
Bitch!
Ryan : I'm to the man!
Whore!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
: Ryan!
Father: Bitch! is a whore!

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