Father: Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new baby sister. Ryan : sister That's right, baby sister. Ryan : sister Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when you're your new baby sister. Ryan : rules Father: Okay, rule number one: Always wash your hands touching the baby. : wash hands Father: Do you know : no Father: Well, sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick. Ryan : germs make baby Father: That's right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make sick. Ryan : germs the baby sick Father: Okay, number two. : more rules Father: Don't the baby anything. : don't feed the baby. Father: right. Ryan : Father: Well, because the baby to eat special baby food. Ryan : Father: Oh...well, food is bad for the baby. Ryan : food bad for the baby Father: right, good. Now, rule number three. : more rules Father: Never take hot near the baby because hot water will burn the baby. : water bad for the baby Father: Well, not all water, hot water, : yes Father: Cause hot water burn the baby. Ryan : i understand, daddy Okay, see this glass of water that I'm drinking? : yes Father: Well, this is okay for the baby. : yes Father: Here, the glass. : yes Father: See, nice and cool. : yes Father: Now if this was hot water that would be bad hot water can burn the baby. Ryan : hot burn baby? Yes, hot water burn baby. Ryan : hot burn baby Father: Yes, yes, hot water baby. Ryan : hot water burn your Yes. Ryan : baby go in swimming pool? Father: Oh no, the pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool. : yes Father: alright. : yes Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because water is hot and hot water will burn the baby. Ryan : hot water the baby Yes. Ryan : hot water burn the Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that the baby? Ryan : yea, like tea Father: No Ryan, uh, I don't you get it yet. : baby no like tea? Father: Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but do you make tea with? : ...hot water Father: Right, and what did we say hot water? Ryan : ...oh, hot water burn Father: Yes, hot water baby! : hot water burn baby! Father: That's right so no tea the baby. Ryan : hot burn baby Yes. Ryan : baby no take Father: No, bath water is warm. is okay. : yes Hot is bad. Ryan : yes...hot water baby Yes, hot water burn baby. Ryan : hot burn baby Father: I you're gettin' it! : hot water burn baby Father: right, Ryan. Ryan : hot burn baby NOW DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT! Narrator: 30 later! Wife : Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out : Just watchin' the discovery channel. Wife : Well, gonna be ready in about five minutes. : Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled) : Okay, honey! : Yeah. TV : The of Pasquan : Pasquan TV : have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming infants into the community. : (garbled) TV : Unfortunately, the death rate from ritual is a mortifying 90 percent. : My God. TV : That the Pasquan's low population. : Yeah, it does. TV : On the full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,... : Deerskin. TV : ...which have passed along from generation to generation. Ryan : nice. TV : The entire Pasquan population then a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara. Ryan : TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, hand to hand, the circle... : Wow. TV : ...four times. Ryan : times. TV : for the sun,... : Hmm. TV : ...once for the moon,... : The moon. TV : ...once for the earth,... : The earth. TV : ...and for the wind. : The wind, too. TV : When the babies back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs... Ryan : TV : ...where the purification will be completed. Ryan : are you saying here? TV : As we watch, the mothers their progeny out of the deerskin shells... : No. TV : ...and dunk them the steaming water. : No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot water burn baby! Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby. : Hot water burn baby! Wife : Ryan! going on out there? Are you okay? Ryan : Hot burn baby! Father: Hot water burn most burn baby. : Hot water burn baby! Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby! : Hot water burn baby! You are a bitch, Ryan! Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan, are you alright? Father: Hot burn the baby! Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan! Father: What are you gonna do, : Ryan! Ryan : Hot burn baby! Bitch! Wife : Ryan! What's on out there? Ryan : Hot water baby! Whore! Wife : Who are you to? Bitch! Ryan : I'm to the man! Whore! Ryan : Hot burn baby! : Ryan! Father: Bitch! is a whore!