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Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home the hospital with your new baby sister.
: baby sister
Father: That's right, sister.
: baby sister
Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when around your new baby sister.
Ryan : saftey
Father: Okay, rule number one: Always your hands before touching the baby.
Ryan : hands
Father: Do you know
: no
Father: Well, sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick.
Ryan : germs make baby
Father: right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick.
Ryan : make the baby sick
Father: Okay, rule two.
Ryan : more
Father: feed the baby anything.
Ryan : feed the baby.
Father: right.
: why?
Father: Well, the baby needs to eat special baby food.
Ryan :
Father: Oh...well, other is bad for the baby.
: other food bad for the baby
Father: That's right, good. Now, rule three.
Ryan : rules
Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : water bad for the
Father: Well, not all water, hot water,
: yes
Father: Cause hot will burn the baby.
Ryan : i don't understand,
Okay, see this glass of water that I'm drinking?
: yes
Father: Well, this is okay for the baby.
: yes
Father: Here, the glass.
: yes
Father: See, nice and cool.
: yes
Father: Now if this was hot water that would be bad hot water can burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot water baby
Father: Yes, yes, hot burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn your
Yes.
Ryan : baby can't go in swimming
Father: Oh no, the pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool.
: yes
Father: alright.
: yes
Father: But the jacuzzi is bad that water is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
: hot water burn the baby
Yes.
Ryan : hot water the baby
Father: Yes. Now say you a cup of tea, would you take that near the baby?
: yea, baby like tea
Father: No Ryan, uh, I think you get it yet.
Ryan : baby no tea?
Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with?
: ...hot water
Father: Right, and did we say about hot water?
Ryan : ...oh, hot water baby
Father: Yes, hot water baby!
: hot water burn baby!
Father: That's so no tea near the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Yes.
Ryan : no take bath?
No, bath water is warm. Warm is okay.
: yes
Hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot water baby
Father: Yes, hot water baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Father: I you're gettin' it!
Ryan : hot water baby
Father: right, Ryan.
: hot water burn baby
Father: NOW YOU EVER FORGET THAT!
30 year later!
Wife : Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out
: Just watchin' the discovery channel.
Wife : Well, dinner's gonna be in about five minutes.
Ryan : Aw, baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled)
: Okay, honey!
: Yeah.
TV : The villagers of
: Pasquan
TV : a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community.
: (garbled)
TV : Unfortunately, the death from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
: My God.
TV : That explains the low population.
: Yeah, it does.
TV : On the full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,...
: Deerskin.
TV : ...which been passed along from generation to generation.
Ryan : nice.
TV : The entire Pasquan population then forms a circle on the battlefield of Chin-Chara.
: ya-yara
TV : Each Pasquanian baby is passed, hand to hand, around the circle...
: Wow.
TV : ...four times.
Ryan : times.
TV : for the sun,...
: Hmm.
TV : ...once for the moon,...
: The moon.
TV : ...once for the earth,...
: The earth.
TV : ...and for the wind.
: The wind, too.
TV : When the babies arrive in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs...
Ryan :
TV : ...where the ceremonial will be completed.
Ryan : What are you saying
TV : As we watch, the mothers take progeny out of the deerskin shells...
: No.
TV : ...and dunk them the steaming water.
Ryan : No! No! Hot burn baby! Hot water burn baby!
Father: right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Wife : Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Father: Hot water most definitely burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot water baby!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
You are a bitch, Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Wife : Ryan, are you
Father: Hot water the baby!
: Hot water burn baby!
: Ryan!
Father: are you gonna do, whore?
: Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Bitch!
Wife : Ryan! What's going on out
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Whore!
Wife : Who are you to?
Bitch!
Ryan : I'm to the man!
Whore!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: Bitch! is a whore!

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