Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the with your new baby sister. Ryan : baby Father: That's right, sister. Ryan : baby Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when around your new baby sister. Ryan : rules Father: Okay, rule number one: Always wash your hands touching the baby. Ryan : hands Father: Do you know : no Father: Well, because sometimes you have on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick. Ryan : make baby sick Father: That's right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make sick. Ryan : germs make the baby Okay, rule number two. Ryan : rules Father: feed the baby anything. Ryan : feed the baby. That's right. Ryan : Father: Well, because the baby to eat special baby food. : why? Father: Oh...well, other is bad for the baby. Ryan : food bad for the baby Father: That's right, good. Now, rule three. Ryan : more Father: take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby. : water bad for the baby Father: Well, not all water, hot water, : yes Father: Cause hot water will the baby. Ryan : i understand, daddy Father: Okay, see this glass of water I'm drinking? : yes Father: Well, water is okay for the baby. : yes Father: Here, the glass. : yes Father: See, it's and cool. : yes Father: Now if was hot water that would be bad because hot water can burn the baby. Ryan : hot water burn Father: Yes, hot burn baby. Ryan : hot water burn Father: Yes, yes, hot water baby. : hot water burn your baby Yes. Ryan : baby can't go in pool? Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool. : yes Father: alright. : yes Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because water is hot and hot water will burn the baby. : hot water burn the baby Yes. Ryan : hot burn the baby Father: Yes. Now say you a cup of tea, would you take that near the baby? Ryan : yea, baby tea Father: No Ryan, uh, I think you get it yet. Ryan : baby no like Father: Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea : ...hot water Father: Right, and did we say about hot water? Ryan : ...oh, hot burn baby Father: Yes, hot burn baby! Ryan : hot water baby! Father: That's so no tea near the baby. Ryan : hot burn baby Yes. Ryan : baby no take Father: No, water is warm. Warm is okay. : yes Hot is bad. Ryan : yes...hot water burn Yes, hot water burn baby. Ryan : hot water baby Father: I think you're it! Ryan : hot burn baby That's right, Ryan. Ryan : hot water baby Father: NOW DON'T YOU FORGET THAT! Narrator: 30 later! Wife : Hey, Ryan, are you doing out there? Ryan : Just the discovery channel. Wife : Well, dinner's be ready in about five minutes. Ryan : Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. just wind down...(garbled) : Okay, honey! : Yeah. TV : The of Pasquan : Pasquan TV : have a very and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community. : (garbled) TV : Unfortunately, the death rate this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent. : My God. TV : That explains the low population. : Yeah, it does. TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand deerskin,... : Deerskin. TV : ...which have been passed along generation to generation. Ryan : nice. TV : The entire population then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara. : ya-yara TV : Each Pasquanian is then passed, hand to hand, around the circle... : Wow. TV : ...four times. Ryan : times. TV : for the sun,... : Hmm. TV : ...once for the moon,... : The moon. TV : ...once for the earth,... : The earth. TV : ...and for the wind. : The wind, too. TV : the babies arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs... Ryan : TV : ...where the ceremonial purification be completed. Ryan : What are you saying TV : As we watch, the mothers take progeny out of the deerskin shells... : No. TV : ...and dunk into the steaming water. Ryan : No! No! Hot water baby! Hot water burn baby! Father: right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby. Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you okay? Ryan : Hot burn baby! Father: Hot water burn most definitely baby. Ryan : Hot water baby! That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby! Ryan : Hot water baby! You are a bitch, Ryan! Ryan : Hot burn baby! : Ryan, are you alright? Father: Hot water the baby! Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan! Father: are you gonna do, whore? : Ryan! Ryan : Hot burn baby! Bitch! Wife : Ryan! going on out there? : Hot water burn baby! Whore! Wife : Who are you to? Bitch! Ryan : I'm to the man! Whore! Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan! Father: Bitch! is a whore!