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Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new sister.
Ryan : sister
Father: That's right, sister.
Ryan : baby
Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister.
Ryan : saftey
Father: Okay, number one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby.
Ryan : hands
Do you know why?
: no
Father: Well, because sometimes you germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick.
: germs make baby sick
Father: That's right, that's right, Ryan. make baby sick.
Ryan : germs make the baby
Father: Okay, rule two.
Ryan : more
Father: Don't feed the anything.
Ryan : feed the baby.
Father: right.
Ryan :
Father: Well, because the baby needs to eat special food.
: why?
Father: Oh...well, other is bad for the baby.
Ryan : other bad for the baby
That's right, good. Now, rule number three.
Ryan : rules
Father: Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will the baby.
: water bad for the baby
Father: Well, not all water, hot water,
: yes
Father: hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : i understand, daddy
Father: Okay, see this of water that I'm drinking?
: yes
Father: Well, this water is for the baby.
: yes
Father: Here, the glass.
: yes
Father: See, it's and cool.
: yes
Father: Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot can burn the baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby?
Father: Yes, hot burn baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Father: Yes, yes, hot burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn your
Yes.
Ryan : baby can't go in swimming
Father: Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool is cool.
: yes
Father: alright.
: yes
Father: But the jacuzzi is bad that water is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water the baby
Yes.
Ryan : hot water burn the
Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that near the
: yea, baby like tea
Father: No Ryan, uh, I don't you get it yet.
: baby no like tea?
Father: Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but do you make tea with?
Ryan : ...hot
Father: Right, and did we say about hot water?
Ryan : ...oh, hot water baby
Father: Yes, hot water baby!
: hot water burn baby!
Father: That's so no tea near the baby.
Ryan : hot water baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby no take
Father: No, bath water is warm. is okay.
: yes
Hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot water baby
Father: Yes, hot burn baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Father: I you're gettin' it!
: hot water burn baby
Father: right, Ryan.
Ryan : hot water baby
Father: NOW DON'T YOU FORGET THAT!
30 year later!
Wife : Hey, Ryan, are you doing out there?
: Just watchin' the discovery channel.
Wife : Well, gonna be ready in about five minutes.
: Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled)
: Okay, honey!
: Yeah.
TV : The villagers of
: Pasquan
TV : have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants the community.
: (garbled)
TV : Unfortunately, the death from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
: My God.
TV : explains the Pasquan's low population.
: Yeah, it does.
TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,...
: Deerskin.
TV : ...which have been passed along from to generation.
: That's nice.
TV : The entire Pasquan then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara.
: ya-yara
TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, to hand, around the circle...
: Wow.
TV : ...four times.
Ryan : times.
TV : for the sun,...
: Hmm.
TV : ...once for the moon,...
: The moon.
TV : ...once for the earth,...
: The earth.
TV : ...and for the wind.
: The wind, too.
TV : When the babies arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian hot springs...
: What?
TV : ...where the ceremonial will be completed.
Ryan : What are you here?
TV : As we watch, the mothers take their progeny out of the shells...
: No.
TV : ...and dunk into the steaming water.
: No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot water burn baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot water baby.
: Hot water burn baby!
Wife : Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you
: Hot water burn baby!
Father: Hot water most definitely burn baby.
: Hot water burn baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot water baby!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
You are a bitch, Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Wife : Ryan, are you
Hot water burn the baby!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
: Ryan!
Father: What are you gonna do,
: Ryan!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Bitch!
Wife : Ryan! going on out there?
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Whore!
Wife : Who are you to?
Bitch!
Ryan : I'm to the man!
Whore!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: Bitch! is a whore!

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