Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the with your new baby sister. : baby sister Father: That's right, sister. Ryan : sister Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some rules for when you're around your new baby sister. : saftey rules Father: Okay, number one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby. Ryan : hands Father: Do you know : no Father: Well, sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick. : germs make baby sick Father: That's right, that's right, Ryan. Germs baby sick. : germs make the baby sick Father: Okay, number two. : more rules Father: Don't the baby anything. : don't feed the baby. Father: right. Ryan : Father: Well, because the baby to eat special baby food. : why? Father: Oh...well, other is bad for the baby. Ryan : other bad for the baby Father: right, good. Now, rule number three. Ryan : more Father: Never take hot near the baby because hot water will burn the baby. Ryan : bad for the baby Well, not all water, just hot water, : yes Father: Cause hot will burn the baby. : i don't understand, daddy Father: Okay, see glass of water that I'm drinking? : yes Father: Well, water is okay for the baby. : yes Father: Here, the glass. : yes Father: See, it's and cool. : yes Father: Now if this was hot water would be bad because hot water can burn the baby. : hot water burn baby? Father: Yes, hot water baby. Ryan : hot water baby Father: Yes, yes, hot burn baby. Ryan : hot water burn your Yes. Ryan : baby go in swimming pool? Father: Oh no, the swimming is okay. Swimming pool water is cool. : yes Father: alright. : yes Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because that water is hot and hot will burn the baby. Ryan : hot water burn the Yes. Ryan : hot water the baby Father: Yes. Now say you a cup of tea, would you take that near the baby? : yea, baby like tea Father: No Ryan, uh, I think you get it yet. : baby no like tea? Father: Well, I'm sure the baby will tea, but what do you make tea with? Ryan : ...hot Father: Right, and did we say about hot water? Ryan : ...oh, hot water baby Father: Yes, hot burn baby! : hot water burn baby! Father: That's so no tea near the baby. Ryan : hot burn baby Yes. Ryan : baby no take Father: No, water is warm. Warm is okay. : yes Hot is bad. Ryan : yes...hot burn baby Father: Yes, hot water baby. : hot water burn baby Father: I think gettin' it! : hot water burn baby Father: right, Ryan. Ryan : hot burn baby NOW DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT! Narrator: 30 later! : Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out there? Ryan : Just watchin' the channel. Wife : Well, gonna be ready in about five minutes. Ryan : Aw, great baby, aight, be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled) : Okay, honey! : Yeah. TV : The villagers of Ryan : TV : have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their into the community. : (garbled) TV : Unfortunately, the death rate this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent. : My God. TV : That explains the low population. : Yeah, it does. TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,... : Deerskin. TV : ...which have been passed along from to generation. Ryan : nice. TV : The entire Pasquan population then forms a circle on the battlefield of Chin-Chara. Ryan : TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, hand to hand, the circle... : Wow. TV : ...four times. Ryan : times. TV : for the sun,... : Hmm. TV : ...once for the moon,... : The moon. TV : ...once for the earth,... : The earth. TV : ...and for the wind. : The wind, too. TV : When the babies arrive back in mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs... : What? TV : ...where the purification will be completed. Ryan : What are you saying TV : As we watch, the take their progeny out of the deerskin shells... : No. TV : ...and dunk into the steaming water. Ryan : No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot water baby! Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby. Ryan : Hot water baby! Wife : Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you Ryan : Hot water baby! Father: Hot water burn most definitely baby. Ryan : Hot water baby! Father: right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby! Ryan : Hot water baby! You are a bitch, Ryan! Ryan : Hot burn baby! : Ryan, are you alright? Father: Hot burn the baby! : Hot water burn baby! : Ryan! Father: What are you gonna do, : Ryan! Ryan : Hot burn baby! Bitch! Wife : Ryan! What's going on out Ryan : Hot burn baby! Whore! Wife : Who are you to? Bitch! : I'm talking to the man! Whore! Ryan : Hot burn baby! : Ryan! Father: Bitch! is a whore!