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Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the with your new baby sister.
Ryan : baby
Father: right, baby sister.
Ryan : sister
Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go some safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister.
: saftey rules
Father: Okay, rule one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby.
Ryan : hands
Father: Do you why?
: no
Father: Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the cause they can make the baby sick.
Ryan : germs make sick
Father: right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick.
Ryan : germs make the baby
Father: Okay, number two.
: more rules
Father: feed the baby anything.
Ryan : don't the baby.
Father: right.
: why?
Father: Well, because the baby needs to eat baby food.
: why?
Father: Oh...well, other is bad for the baby.
Ryan : other food bad for the
Father: That's right, good. Now, number three.
Ryan : more
Father: Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will the baby.
: water bad for the baby
Father: Well, not all water, hot water,
: yes
Father: hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : i understand, daddy
Okay, see this glass of water that I'm drinking?
: yes
Father: Well, this water is for the baby.
: yes
Father: Here, the glass.
: yes
Father: See, it's and cool.
: yes
Father: Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot can burn the baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby?
Father: Yes, hot water baby.
: hot water burn baby
Father: Yes, yes, hot water baby.
Ryan : hot water burn your
Yes.
Ryan : can't go in swimming pool?
Father: Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. pool water is cool.
: yes
Father: alright.
: yes
Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because water is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water the baby
Yes.
Ryan : hot burn the baby
Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that near the
Ryan : yea, like tea
No Ryan, uh, I don't think you get it yet.
Ryan : baby no tea?
Father: Well, I'm the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with?
: ...hot water
Father: Right, and did we say about hot water?
Ryan : ...oh, hot water baby
Yes, hot water burn baby!
Ryan : hot burn baby!
Father: That's right so no tea the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Yes.
Ryan : baby no take
Father: No, water is warm. Warm is okay.
: yes
Hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot water burn
Father: Yes, hot burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Father: I think gettin' it!
Ryan : hot water baby
Father: right, Ryan.
Ryan : hot water burn
Father: NOW DON'T YOU EVER THAT!
30 year later!
Wife : Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out
Ryan : watchin' the discovery channel.
Wife : Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about minutes.
Ryan : Aw, baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled)
: Okay, honey!
: Yeah.
TV : The villagers of
: Pasquan
TV : have a very and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community.
: (garbled)
TV : Unfortunately, the death from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
: My God.
TV : That explains the low population.
: Yeah, it does.
TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,...
: Deerskin.
TV : ...which have been along from generation to generation.
: That's nice.
TV : The entire population then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara.
: ya-yara
TV : Each Pasquanian is then passed, hand to hand, around the circle...
: Wow.
TV : ...four times.
Ryan : times.
TV : for the sun,...
: Hmm.
TV : ...once for the moon,...
: The moon.
TV : ...once for the earth,...
: The earth.
TV : ...and for the wind.
: The wind, too.
TV : When the babies arrive back in their hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs...
Ryan :
TV : ...where the purification will be completed.
Ryan : What are you here?
TV : As we watch, the mothers their progeny out of the deerskin shells...
: No.
TV : ...and dunk them the steaming water.
Ryan : No! No! Hot burn baby! Hot water burn baby!
That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby.
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you okay?
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Father: Hot burn most definitely burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby!
: Hot water burn baby!
You are a bitch, Ryan!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Wife : Ryan, are you
Father: Hot burn the baby!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: What are you do, whore?
: Ryan!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Bitch!
Wife : Ryan! What's on out there?
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Whore!
Wife : Who are you to?
Bitch!
Ryan : I'm to the man!
Whore!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: Bitch! is a whore!

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