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Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the with your new baby sister.
: baby sister
Father: right, baby sister.
Ryan : sister
Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when you're around your new sister.
Ryan : saftey
Father: Okay, rule number one: Always wash your hands touching the baby.
: wash hands
Father: Do you why?
: no
Father: Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the sick.
Ryan : germs make sick
That's right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick.
Ryan : germs make the baby
Father: Okay, number two.
Ryan : more
Don't feed the baby anything.
Ryan : don't the baby.
Father: right.
: why?
Father: Well, the baby needs to eat special baby food.
Ryan :
Oh...well, other food is bad for the baby.
Ryan : other bad for the baby
That's right, good. Now, rule number three.
Ryan : rules
Father: Never take hot water near the baby because hot water burn the baby.
Ryan : bad for the baby
Father: Well, not all water, hot water,
: yes
Father: Cause hot water will the baby.
Ryan : i don't understand,
Father: Okay, see glass of water that I'm drinking?
: yes
Father: Well, this is okay for the baby.
: yes
Father: Here, the glass.
: yes
Father: See, nice and cool.
: yes
Father: Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot water can the baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby?
Father: Yes, hot water baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Father: Yes, yes, hot burn baby.
Ryan : hot water your baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby go in swimming pool?
Father: Oh no, the pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool.
: yes
Father: alright.
: yes
Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because that water is hot and hot will burn the baby.
Ryan : hot burn the baby
Yes.
Ryan : hot burn the baby
Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take near the baby?
Ryan : yea, baby tea
Father: No Ryan, uh, I think you get it yet.
: baby no like tea?
Father: Well, I'm the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with?
: ...hot water
Father: Right, and what did we say hot water?
: ...oh, hot water burn baby
Father: Yes, hot water baby!
: hot water burn baby!
Father: That's right so no tea the baby.
: hot water burn baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby no bath?
Father: No, bath water is warm. is okay.
: yes
Hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot water burn
Father: Yes, hot water baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Father: I think you're it!
Ryan : hot burn baby
Father: right, Ryan.
: hot water burn baby
Father: NOW DON'T YOU FORGET THAT!
Narrator: 30 later!
Wife : Hey, Ryan, are you doing out there?
Ryan : Just watchin' the channel.
Wife : Well, dinner's gonna be in about five minutes.
Ryan : Aw, great baby, aight, be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled)
: Okay, honey!
: Yeah.
TV : The villagers of
: Pasquan
TV : have a very bizarre and painful way of their infants into the community.
: (garbled)
TV : Unfortunately, the death rate from ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
: My God.
TV : That the Pasquan's low population.
: Yeah, it does.
TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,...
: Deerskin.
TV : ...which have been passed from generation to generation.
: That's nice.
TV : The entire population then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara.
: ya-yara
TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, to hand, around the circle...
: Wow.
TV : ...four times.
Ryan : times.
TV : for the sun,...
: Hmm.
TV : ...once for the moon,...
: The moon.
TV : ...once for the earth,...
: The earth.
TV : ...and for the wind.
: The wind, too.
TV : When the babies arrive back in mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs...
: What?
TV : ...where the purification will be completed.
Ryan : What are you saying
TV : As we watch, the mothers take their progeny out of the shells...
: No.
TV : ...and them into the steaming water.
Ryan : No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot water baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Wife : Ryan! going on out there? Are you okay?
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Father: Hot water burn most burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Father: right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
You are a bitch, Ryan!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan, are you alright?
Father: Hot burn the baby!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: are you gonna do, whore?
: Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Bitch!
Wife : Ryan! What's on out there?
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Whore!
Wife : Who are you to?
Bitch!
Ryan : I'm to the man!
Whore!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: Bitch! is a whore!

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