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Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's home from the hospital with your new baby sister.
Ryan : baby
Father: That's right, sister.
: baby sister
Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when around your new baby sister.
Ryan : saftey
Father: Okay, rule number one: Always wash your hands touching the baby.
: wash hands
Father: Do you know
: no
Father: Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can the baby sick.
Ryan : germs make baby
That's right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick.
Ryan : germs the baby sick
Father: Okay, number two.
Ryan : rules
Father: feed the baby anything.
Ryan : don't the baby.
Father: right.
Ryan :
Father: Well, because the needs to eat special baby food.
Ryan :
Father: Oh...well, food is bad for the baby.
Ryan : other food bad for the
Father: right, good. Now, rule number three.
Ryan : rules
Father: Never take hot water near the baby because hot will burn the baby.
: water bad for the baby
Father: Well, not all water, hot water,
: yes
Father: Cause hot water will the baby.
: i don't understand, daddy
Father: Okay, see this glass of that I'm drinking?
: yes
Father: Well, this is okay for the baby.
: yes
Father: Here, the glass.
: yes
Father: See, it's and cool.
: yes
Father: Now if this was hot water would be bad because hot water can burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Father: Yes, hot burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Yes, yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby go in swimming pool?
Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool.
: yes
Father: alright.
: yes
Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because that is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water the baby
Yes.
Ryan : hot water the baby
Father: Yes. Now say you a cup of tea, would you take that near the baby?
: yea, baby like tea
Father: No Ryan, uh, I think you get it yet.
Ryan : no like tea?
Father: Well, I'm sure the baby will tea, but what do you make tea with?
Ryan : ...hot
Father: Right, and what did we say hot water?
: ...oh, hot water burn baby
Father: Yes, hot burn baby!
: hot water burn baby!
Father: right so no tea near the baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby no bath?
Father: No, bath water is warm. is okay.
: yes
Hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot burn baby
Father: Yes, hot water baby.
: hot water burn baby
Father: I you're gettin' it!
: hot water burn baby
That's right, Ryan.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Father: NOW YOU EVER FORGET THAT!
Narrator: 30 later!
: Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out there?
Ryan : watchin' the discovery channel.
Wife : Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about minutes.
Ryan : Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme wind down...(garbled)
: Okay, honey!
: Yeah.
TV : The villagers of
: Pasquan
TV : have a very bizarre and way of welcoming their infants into the community.
: (garbled)
TV : Unfortunately, the rate from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
: My God.
TV : explains the Pasquan's low population.
: Yeah, it does.
TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand deerskin,...
: Deerskin.
TV : ...which have been along from generation to generation.
: That's nice.
TV : The entire population then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara.
Ryan :
TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, to hand, around the circle...
: Wow.
TV : ...four times.
Ryan : times.
TV : for the sun,...
: Hmm.
TV : ...once for the moon,...
: The moon.
TV : ...once for the earth,...
: The earth.
TV : ...and for the wind.
: The wind, too.
TV : When the babies arrive back in their hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs...
: What?
TV : ...where the ceremonial will be completed.
Ryan : What are you saying
TV : As we watch, the mothers take progeny out of the deerskin shells...
: No.
TV : ...and them into the steaming water.
Ryan : No! No! Hot burn baby! Hot water burn baby!
That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Wife : Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Hot water burn most definitely burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Father: right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
You are a bitch, Ryan!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Wife : Ryan, are you
Father: Hot burn the baby!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
: Ryan!
Father: What are you gonna do,
: Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Bitch!
Wife : Ryan! going on out there?
: Hot water burn baby!
Whore!
Wife : Who are you to?
Bitch!
Ryan : I'm to the man!
Whore!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: Bitch! is a whore!

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