Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home the hospital with your new baby sister. Ryan : sister That's right, baby sister. Ryan : baby Father: So, uh, I think now is the for us to go over some safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister. Ryan : saftey Okay, rule number one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby. Ryan : wash Father: Do you why? : no Father: Well, because sometimes you germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick. Ryan : germs make baby Father: right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick. Ryan : germs make the sick Okay, rule number two. Ryan : more Father: Don't feed the anything. Ryan : don't the baby. That's right. Ryan : Father: Well, because the baby needs to eat baby food. : why? Father: Oh...well, food is bad for the baby. : other food bad for the baby Father: right, good. Now, rule number three. Ryan : rules Father: Never hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby. : water bad for the baby Father: Well, not all water, hot water, : yes Father: Cause hot will burn the baby. : i don't understand, daddy Father: Okay, see this of water that I'm drinking? : yes Father: Well, this water is for the baby. : yes Father: Here, the glass. : yes Father: See, nice and cool. : yes Father: Now if this was hot that would be bad because hot water can burn the baby. Ryan : hot burn baby? Yes, hot water burn baby. Ryan : hot burn baby Father: Yes, yes, hot burn baby. Ryan : hot water burn baby Yes. Ryan : baby go in swimming pool? Father: Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. pool water is cool. : yes Father: alright. : yes Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because that is hot and hot water will burn the baby. Ryan : hot burn the baby Yes. Ryan : hot water burn the Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that the baby? Ryan : yea, like tea No Ryan, uh, I don't think you get it yet. Ryan : baby no tea? Father: Well, I'm sure the baby will tea, but what do you make tea with? : ...hot water Father: Right, and what did we say hot water? Ryan : ...oh, hot water baby Father: Yes, hot burn baby! Ryan : hot water baby! Father: right so no tea near the baby. Ryan : hot burn baby Yes. Ryan : no take bath? Father: No, bath is warm. Warm is okay. : yes Hot is bad. Ryan : yes...hot burn baby Father: Yes, hot water baby. Ryan : hot burn baby Father: I think gettin' it! : hot water burn baby Father: right, Ryan. Ryan : hot water burn Father: NOW DON'T YOU EVER THAT! Narrator: 30 later! : Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out there? Ryan : Just watchin' the channel. Wife : Well, dinner's gonna be in about five minutes. Ryan : Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme wind down...(garbled) : Okay, honey! : Yeah. TV : The of Pasquan Ryan : TV : have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming infants into the community. : (garbled) TV : Unfortunately, the death rate from this is a mortifying 90 percent. : My God. TV : That the Pasquan's low population. : Yeah, it does. TV : On the full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,... : Deerskin. TV : ...which have been along from generation to generation. : That's nice. TV : The Pasquan population then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara. : ya-yara TV : Each Pasquanian baby is passed, hand to hand, around the circle... : Wow. TV : ...four times. Ryan : times. TV : for the sun,... : Hmm. TV : ...once for the moon,... : The moon. TV : ...once for the earth,... : The earth. TV : ...and for the wind. : The wind, too. TV : When the arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs... Ryan : TV : ...where the ceremonial will be completed. : What are you saying here? TV : As we watch, the mothers take their out of the deerskin shells... : No. TV : ...and dunk into the steaming water. Ryan : No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot burn baby! Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby. Ryan : Hot water baby! Wife : Ryan! What's on out there? Are you okay? : Hot water burn baby! Father: Hot water most definitely burn baby. : Hot water burn baby! Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby! : Hot water burn baby! You are a bitch, Ryan! Ryan : Hot burn baby! Wife : Ryan, are you Hot water burn the baby! Ryan : Hot burn baby! : Ryan! Father: are you gonna do, whore? : Ryan! Ryan : Hot burn baby! Bitch! Wife : Ryan! What's on out there? Ryan : Hot burn baby! Whore! Wife : Who are you to? Bitch! Ryan : I'm to the man! Whore! Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan! Father: Bitch! is a whore!