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Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new sister.
Ryan : sister
That's right, baby sister.
Ryan : sister
Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some rules for when you're around your new baby sister.
Ryan : saftey
Father: Okay, rule number one: Always wash your before touching the baby.
: wash hands
Father: Do you why?
: no
Father: Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick.
Ryan : make baby sick
Father: right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick.
: germs make the baby sick
Father: Okay, rule two.
Ryan : rules
Father: Don't feed the anything.
: don't feed the baby.
Father: right.
: why?
Father: Well, the baby needs to eat special baby food.
Ryan :
Father: Oh...well, other is bad for the baby.
Ryan : food bad for the baby
Father: right, good. Now, rule number three.
Ryan : rules
Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : bad for the baby
Father: Well, not all water, hot water,
: yes
Father: Cause hot water burn the baby.
Ryan : i understand, daddy
Father: Okay, see this glass of that I'm drinking?
: yes
Father: Well, water is okay for the baby.
: yes
Father: Here, the glass.
: yes
Father: See, it's and cool.
: yes
Father: Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot can burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water baby?
Father: Yes, hot water baby.
: hot water burn baby
Father: Yes, yes, hot water baby.
Ryan : hot burn your baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby can't go in swimming
Father: Oh no, the swimming is okay. Swimming pool water is cool.
: yes
Father: alright.
: yes
Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because water is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water the baby
Yes.
Ryan : hot burn the baby
Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that near the
: yea, baby like tea
Father: No Ryan, uh, I think you get it yet.
Ryan : baby no like
Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with?
Ryan : ...hot
Father: Right, and did we say about hot water?
Ryan : ...oh, hot burn baby
Father: Yes, hot burn baby!
Ryan : hot burn baby!
That's right so no tea near the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Yes.
Ryan : no take bath?
No, bath water is warm. Warm is okay.
: yes
Hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot burn baby
Father: Yes, hot burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Father: I think gettin' it!
Ryan : hot water baby
That's right, Ryan.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Father: NOW YOU EVER FORGET THAT!
Narrator: 30 later!
Wife : Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out
Ryan : Just watchin' the channel.
: Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about five minutes.
Ryan : Aw, great baby, aight, be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled)
: Okay, honey!
: Yeah.
TV : The of Pasquan
Ryan :
TV : have a bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community.
: (garbled)
TV : Unfortunately, the death rate from ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
: My God.
TV : That the Pasquan's low population.
: Yeah, it does.
TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional painted deerskin,...
: Deerskin.
TV : ...which have passed along from generation to generation.
Ryan : nice.
TV : The entire Pasquan population then forms a circle on the battlefield of Chin-Chara.
: ya-yara
TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, hand to hand, the circle...
: Wow.
TV : ...four times.
Ryan : times.
TV : for the sun,...
: Hmm.
TV : ...once for the moon,...
: The moon.
TV : ...once for the earth,...
: The earth.
TV : ...and for the wind.
: The wind, too.
TV : When the babies arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian hot springs...
Ryan :
TV : ...where the ceremonial purification be completed.
Ryan : What are you saying
TV : As we watch, the mothers take their out of the deerskin shells...
: No.
TV : ...and dunk into the steaming water.
Ryan : No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot burn baby!
That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Wife : Ryan! What's going on out Are you okay?
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Father: Hot water most definitely burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot burn baby!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
You are a bitch, Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
: Ryan, are you alright?
Father: Hot water the baby!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: What are you gonna do,
: Ryan!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
Bitch!
Wife : Ryan! going on out there?
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Whore!
Wife : Who are you to?
Bitch!
Ryan : I'm to the man!
Whore!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: Bitch! is a whore!

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