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Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming from the hospital with your new baby sister.
: baby sister
Father: That's right, sister.
Ryan : sister
Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for you're around your new baby sister.
: saftey rules
Father: Okay, rule one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby.
Ryan : hands
Father: Do you why?
: no
Father: Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the cause they can make the baby sick.
Ryan : germs make sick
Father: right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick.
Ryan : make the baby sick
Father: Okay, number two.
Ryan : rules
Don't feed the baby anything.
Ryan : don't the baby.
That's right.
Ryan :
Father: Well, because the baby to eat special baby food.
Ryan :
Father: Oh...well, food is bad for the baby.
Ryan : other food bad for the
Father: That's right, good. Now, number three.
Ryan : more
Father: take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : water bad for the
Well, not all water, just hot water,
: yes
Father: Cause hot will burn the baby.
Ryan : i understand, daddy
Father: Okay, see this glass of water that I'm
: yes
Father: Well, this is okay for the baby.
: yes
Father: Here, the glass.
: yes
Father: See, it's and cool.
: yes
Father: Now if this was hot that would be bad because hot water can burn the baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby?
Father: Yes, hot water baby.
Ryan : hot water burn
Yes, yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby can't go in pool?
Father: Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool is cool.
: yes
Father: alright.
: yes
Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because that is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
: hot water burn the baby
Yes.
Ryan : hot burn the baby
Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, you take that near the baby?
: yea, baby like tea
Father: No Ryan, uh, I think you get it yet.
: baby no like tea?
Father: Well, I'm the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with?
Ryan : ...hot
Father: Right, and did we say about hot water?
Ryan : ...oh, hot burn baby
Father: Yes, hot burn baby!
Ryan : hot water baby!
Father: That's right so no tea the baby.
: hot water burn baby
Yes.
Ryan : baby no take
Father: No, water is warm. Warm is okay.
: yes
Hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot burn baby
Father: Yes, hot water baby.
Ryan : hot burn baby
Father: I think you're it!
Ryan : hot water burn
That's right, Ryan.
Ryan : hot water burn
Father: NOW DON'T YOU EVER THAT!
30 year later!
Wife : Hey, Ryan, are you doing out there?
Ryan : Just the discovery channel.
: Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about five minutes.
Ryan : Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme wind down...(garbled)
: Okay, honey!
: Yeah.
TV : The of Pasquan
Ryan :
TV : have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants the community.
: (garbled)
TV : Unfortunately, the death rate from this ritual is a 90 percent.
: My God.
TV : explains the Pasquan's low population.
: Yeah, it does.
TV : On the first full of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,...
: Deerskin.
TV : ...which have been passed along generation to generation.
Ryan : nice.
TV : The entire Pasquan then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara.
Ryan :
TV : Each baby is then passed, hand to hand, around the circle...
: Wow.
TV : ...four times.
Ryan : times.
TV : for the sun,...
: Hmm.
TV : ...once for the moon,...
: The moon.
TV : ...once for the earth,...
: The earth.
TV : ...and for the wind.
: The wind, too.
TV : When the arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs...
Ryan :
TV : ...where the ceremonial will be completed.
Ryan : are you saying here?
TV : As we watch, the take their progeny out of the deerskin shells...
: No.
TV : ...and dunk them the steaming water.
Ryan : No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot burn baby!
Father: right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
: Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you okay?
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Hot water burn most definitely burn baby.
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
You are a bitch, Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Wife : Ryan, are you
Hot water burn the baby!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: are you gonna do, whore?
: Ryan!
Ryan : Hot burn baby!
Bitch!
Wife : Ryan! going on out there?
: Hot water burn baby!
Whore!
Wife : Who are you to?
Bitch!
Ryan : I'm to the man!
Whore!
Ryan : Hot water baby!
: Ryan!
Father: Bitch! is a whore!

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