Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new sister. Ryan : sister Father: That's right, sister. Ryan : baby Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister. Ryan : saftey Father: Okay, number one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby. Ryan : hands Do you know why? : no Father: Well, because sometimes you germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick. : germs make baby sick Father: That's right, that's right, Ryan. make baby sick. Ryan : germs make the baby Father: Okay, rule two. Ryan : more Father: Don't feed the anything. Ryan : feed the baby. Father: right. Ryan : Father: Well, because the baby needs to eat special food. : why? Father: Oh...well, other is bad for the baby. Ryan : other bad for the baby That's right, good. Now, rule number three. Ryan : rules Father: Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will the baby. : water bad for the baby Father: Well, not all water, hot water, : yes Father: hot water will burn the baby. Ryan : i understand, daddy Father: Okay, see this of water that I'm drinking? : yes Father: Well, this water is for the baby. : yes Father: Here, the glass. : yes Father: See, it's and cool. : yes Father: Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot can burn the baby. Ryan : hot burn baby? Father: Yes, hot burn baby. Ryan : hot burn baby Father: Yes, yes, hot burn baby. Ryan : hot water burn your Yes. Ryan : baby can't go in swimming Father: Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool is cool. : yes Father: alright. : yes Father: But the jacuzzi is bad that water is hot and hot water will burn the baby. Ryan : hot water the baby Yes. Ryan : hot water burn the Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that near the : yea, baby like tea Father: No Ryan, uh, I don't you get it yet. : baby no like tea? Father: Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but do you make tea with? Ryan : ...hot Father: Right, and did we say about hot water? Ryan : ...oh, hot water baby Father: Yes, hot water baby! : hot water burn baby! Father: That's so no tea near the baby. Ryan : hot water baby Yes. Ryan : baby no take Father: No, bath water is warm. is okay. : yes Hot is bad. Ryan : yes...hot water baby Father: Yes, hot burn baby. Ryan : hot burn baby Father: I you're gettin' it! : hot water burn baby Father: right, Ryan. Ryan : hot water baby Father: NOW DON'T YOU FORGET THAT! 30 year later! Wife : Hey, Ryan, are you doing out there? : Just watchin' the discovery channel. Wife : Well, gonna be ready in about five minutes. : Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled) : Okay, honey! : Yeah. TV : The villagers of : Pasquan TV : have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants the community. : (garbled) TV : Unfortunately, the death from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent. : My God. TV : explains the Pasquan's low population. : Yeah, it does. TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,... : Deerskin. TV : ...which have been passed along from to generation. : That's nice. TV : The entire Pasquan then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara. : ya-yara TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, to hand, around the circle... : Wow. TV : ...four times. Ryan : times. TV : for the sun,... : Hmm. TV : ...once for the moon,... : The moon. TV : ...once for the earth,... : The earth. TV : ...and for the wind. : The wind, too. TV : When the babies arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian hot springs... : What? TV : ...where the ceremonial will be completed. Ryan : What are you here? TV : As we watch, the mothers take their progeny out of the shells... : No. TV : ...and dunk into the steaming water. : No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot water burn baby! Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot water baby. : Hot water burn baby! Wife : Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you : Hot water burn baby! Father: Hot water most definitely burn baby. : Hot water burn baby! Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot water baby! Ryan : Hot burn baby! You are a bitch, Ryan! Ryan : Hot burn baby! Wife : Ryan, are you Hot water burn the baby! Ryan : Hot burn baby! : Ryan! Father: What are you gonna do, : Ryan! Ryan : Hot water baby! Bitch! Wife : Ryan! going on out there? Ryan : Hot water baby! Whore! Wife : Who are you to? Bitch! Ryan : I'm to the man! Whore! Ryan : Hot water baby! : Ryan! Father: Bitch! is a whore!