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{Alright now boys and girls got another story for you now
We want to introduce to you friend of the Bible}

yeah
Hell
yeah
Hell

If I were God would be no explicit sex on TV
Like little Opie pie when he made it with Aunt Bea

If I were God thou shall not worship Billy Idols
And thou shall add the Of Flavor Flav to the Bible
Thou make fun of Hindus, thou shall not make a "Speed 2"
If I were God that's I'd do, Heavens no

Hell
yeah
Hell
yeah

If I were God I'd get a bunch of slaves to do
Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to

If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with
Thou shall sit and thou shall spin shall even wife swap
Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins, shall not cut Footloose
If I were God that's I'd do, Heavens no

yeah
Hell
yeah
Hell

And when they nail my pimpled ass to the
I'll tell them I Jesus that should throw them off
He goes by the name Hay-Zeus and steals hubcaps cars
Oh, Hay-Zeus can I your crowbar?

To pry these God damn out they're beginning to hurt
and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
I can't it's not butter, I'll sing as I'm flogged
Yeah, what I would do if I were God

So vote for me for Savior and go to Heaven
Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin in "Seven"
With creepy threats of H-E-Double
You can't teach an old God new tricks

But would I be a Messiah with my low self-esteem?
If I don't believe in myself would be blasphemy?
Just sport some crummy than thou facade
Yeah, what I would do if I were God

Videos

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