Harper Valley PTA

I want to tell you all the story
'Bout a Harper Valley widowed wife
'Who had a teenage daughter
That attended Harper Valley Junior High

Well her daughter came home one afternoon
And didn't even stop to play
And she said, "Mom I got a note here
From the Harper Valley P.T.A."

Well the note says, "Mrs. Johnson
You're wearing your dresses way too high
It's reported you've been drinkin'
And a runnin' round with men and goin' wild"

Now we don't believe you ought to be
A bringin' up your little girl this way
And it was signed by the secretary
Harper Valley P.T.A.

Well it happened that the P.T.A .
Was gonna meet that very afternoon
And boy were they sure surprised
When Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room

And as she walked up to the blackboard
I can still recall the words she had to say
She said, "I'd like to address this meeting
Of the Harper Valley P.T.A."

Now there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there
And seven times he asked me for a date
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lotta ice
Whenever he's away

And Mr. Baker can you tell us
Why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn't widow Jones be told
To keep her window shades all pulled completely down?

Now Mr. Harper couldn't be here
'Cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you'll smell Shirley Thompson's breath
You'll find she's had a little nip of gin

And when you have the nerve to tell me as a mother
You think that I ain't fit
Well, this is just a little Payton Place
And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites

Now, I wouldn't put you on
Because it really did it happened just this way
That day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A.
That day my mama socked it to 'em at the Harper Valley P.T.A.