Hard On Equipment / Tool For The Job

lyrics by Corb Lund and Mike Plume, music by Corb Lund

He's been roundin off bolts since the age of fourteen
Was that a five eighths or a nine sixteenths?
He's got a metric socket that don't quite fit
Well it'll wiggle just a little but it aint quite stripped
The safety guards gone from his grinding machine
He got a stiff paint brush he only kinda got clean
He's the hired man, my neighbor and a cousin in law
He's a jerry riggin fool, he got the tool for the job

Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
A wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
It just dont seem to make much difference
I sure do like him but hes hard on equipment
I sure like you son, but youre hard on equipment

His corners aint square and his floor aint level
And he's always had trouble with the old tape measure
His doors dont close cause the jamb aint plumb
And hes a Goddamn menace with an air nail gun
They love to see him comin at the lumberyard store
Fixed the leak in his roof with a two by four
Drilled holes in his boards with the wrong kinda bit
And when they dont line up he blames the government

He got the whole front yard full of fix em up cars
Three dont run and the rest wont start
Everything's fine with his rebuilt motor
Except of course for the couple spare parts left over
Baler wire tie downs goin down the road
On two bald tires and an oversize load
He ain't never read a manual cause that's like cheatin
He don't mind a little grease on his hands while he's eatin

Hes got busted up knuckles, his thumb got bruised
Jesus Christ was a carpenter, too