Happy Ending

Hmm, I dont even wanna fucking do this song for real
But I wouldnt be real if I didnt

I be sitting by myself and I be thinking, mama what have I become
All I wanted was a family but I when I look I be the only one
Losing everything but money, everybody left
And I dont even get to see my young

Only happiness I get is in the studio
When I get to do another run
On the road, doing shows, get the woes when it slows
Getting cold, getting owed, but the flows getting sowed

I been doing this a minute, but I think I want to end it
Cuz I think Im on a higher level when I go
But the music I be doing it, be losing it
I'mma make it really tough for me to grow

All I wanted was a family portrait
See my babys on a ranch with horses
But I was fucking devil bitches in corsets
I was never really good, then I torched it

Im sorry Mrs. Jackson Im speaking for real
And I never meant to make your daughter cry
But I guess Im a failure with women
Im lost and I feel like I oughta die

Feel like it, Im rotting away, my life is jus off in the gray
How much does it cost? I will pay to lay and be off in a coffin today
I mean off in ashes, this life and after it clashes, if I get blasted
This is suicide letters all over again, I thought that I passed it

But I guess that I didnt cuz this one is written
And there is no mending
But I broke, I'mma a joke when I croak
I jus hope that I wont be descending

But this aint a joke, I want you to know
That Tech Nina is never pretending
Alone in my bed with a gun to my head
Asking, where is my happy ending? Yeah

Tell me who it is?
What about me?
Where is my happy ending?
What about me?
Is this a life worth living?

You know how it begins
But how does it end for me?
Will I ever live?
Or does He have it in for me?
Will this pop before I stop breathing?
Is there light in this dark Im seeing?

Yeah, I put my life in this music, Nina is inside out
I set my heart out for people, they know what the inside bout
Will they keep feeling Nina forever this? I doubt
Can never cry for help so if you listening this my shout

Im searching for the passageway to happiness
But Im worldly so I have to lay in nastiness
Yes this a strange year, worldwide fames near
But the game's queer, sometime I feel like Im rudolph the reindeer

But instead of a red nose, I stay in my red clothes
And the music, they said blows is on the top and the cred grows
Can you resurrect a mothafucka that feel like he possess a dead soul?
Deteriorates when inferior state, almost equal to bread mold?

Now as my head goes, wish I could shed those
Because all of the times the Nina was shorted when I bled froze
So now that Im cold blooded and hella sick
Is what the med shows, the tred slows
And dont even think you reviving a dead rose, yeah

Tell me who it is?
What about me?
Where is my happy ending?
What about me?
Is this a life worth living?

You know how it begins
But how does it end for me?
Will I ever live?
Or does he have it in for me?
Will this pop before I stop breathing?
Is there light in this dark Im seeing?

Listen, Im on the verge of insanity but Im competent
Im breaking, so I picked this one to vent
The reason I look away when you talk to me
My brain is producing evilness, Im drowning in 151 and rum I meant

Thats how I feel
I sit in the mirror with this gun and practice how to kill
But I know damn well that the people like me
Really wanna know how to chill

This is life is bout it, check bout it
[Incomprehensible]
Think of all the love I lost
Because my quest is not a meal

I feel like you, stupid, dont talk to me Im cracking up
I dont mean laughter, Im full of bitterness and its backing up
And I live with angels but lately demons been shacking up
Tug of war with my spirits, see the blood Im hacking up

I love my kids and my fans, inside I sob harder
Cuz you paid the price for my life and its right like Bob Barker
And I wont pretend that its okay, Im no facade starter
So I guess my only happy ending is at a massage parlor, yeaa

Tell me who it is?
What about me?
Where is my happy ending?
What about me?
Is this a life worth living?

You know how it begins
But how does it end for me?
Will I ever live?
Or does he have it in for me?
Will this pop before I stop breathing?
Is there light in this dark Im seeing?