Grocery Escape Plan

The other day I went to the store to get a gallon of milk,
but then I found out that they only had

One percent, but not two percent.
One percent, but not two percent.
One percent, but not two percent.
One percent, but not two percent!

I want two percent, I got one percent.
I still got it on sale, I saved, 39 cents.

Attention shoppers, don't forget about our buy one, get one free special on hot pockets and 12 packs of Mr. Pibb.

Ahh! I've got to get to aisle 5 right now, because Mr. Pibb and hot pockets are buy one get one free.

Out of the way, old lady! Out of the way, I'm shopping.

"Ooh, look at the price on pickles!"
Out of the way, you people. Out of the way, everybody!

I've got to get bread, eggs, grapes, oltec, TP, salt, toothpaste, deodorant, chips, pees, corn, cheese, porn?
Spaghettios, salt, cups, sprite, bleach, yogurt, Oreos, Jaeger, cheerios, what am I forgetting?
What am I forgetting? What am I forgetting?!? Oh yeah, beer.