Hey kids, listen up if you want to be 'Cause your dinner looks like something a Cronenburg flick twice before you cuss and shout "damn damn damn" Let me tell you a story green eggs and ham. There was a little yellow man Sam-I-Am me! I don't like you, Well, that's fine, that's cool, I But do you like eggs and ham? I don't like eggs and ham No, I don't like 'em, Would you like here or there? I like them anywhere 'Cause I do not like them, No, I don't like green and ham Would you them in a house? Would you like them with a mouse? Maybe you can't hear, you got something in ear? No I'm gonna make perfectly clear I would not like them in a house, I would not like with a mouse I not like them here or there, I wouldn't like them anywhere 'Cause I do not them, Sam-I-Am, No, not for me, green and ham you like them if I served them to you in a box Candlelight, wine and a of scotch? Yeah, some soft lighting, soft music, maybe Fred Penner on the blaster... Not in a box with a fox or a house with a Stop me, you louse! I would not eat them, no, man, I don't like your green and ham Well, would you you in a car, eat them, don't deny who you are gonna like them, you're gonna see You might like them up in a No, not in a tree, not in a car, you let me be No fox no box no no mouse, not here, there, or anywhere 'Cause you guessed it, I don't like green and ham I don't like 'em, A train, a train, a train, a train! Would you, you in a train Or up in an How 'bout in the We could drive and park We could to the crickets and the pit bulls bark No, not in a plane, not in the dark, not on a train, not in a car, not up a 'Cause I don't 'em, Sam, see, Not in a schoolhouse or a shoebox a house-mouse or a red fox Not here, there, and Didn't like the Beatles with their long, long hair. Hey! You lay off the Beatles, buddy! lay on whoever I want. And don't buddy me...buddy. Well, you don't like eggs and ham Oh, Mr. Perception, Well I know that you'd like 'em if you ate 'em a goat! I would not could not with a would you could you on a boat I would not not on a boat And I will not ever a goat I'm not in stuffing face in the rain, on a train, I should you to my friend pain Not in the dark, not up a tree, Not on your china with Earl Grey Tea No boxes, foxes, houses, mouses, husbands and - no spouses! Why you trying to me eat that? I don't it, I wouldn't serve it to my cat I said already, I don't them, Sam-I-Am, I do not green eggs ham! Mr. Cheese! You think you don't like them, so you say And he's to remind me of Doris Day You say you don't like this and you don't that Well you're to sound like a finicky cat Just try them, try them, and you may you like nothing better than Two greenish eggs over easy in the And to accompany fine taste we have Martian ham - pork from space! Now Sam, if you get out of my I'll try that and all over the place (good!) Nothing a crowd disperse more quick a great big puddle of sick! Say...say...not bad, eggs and ham I believe I them, Sam-I-Am And I'd eat them in a boat, with a goat, I'd eat them in the rain in the on a train In a car, up a tree, they're good, you see So I'd eat them in a box a fox I'd eat in a house and with the house-mouse I'd eat them here, I'd eat them I'd eat them in my underwear I you're ok, Sam-I-Am Well, I wouldn't let you down, you old man! Hey, we should share them, eh, we got ..Are you kidding? I eat that stuff!