Luyện nghe bài hát Grandpa's Thanksgiving Story

This is the story of the first Thanksgiving, once by my drunk grandpa:

Many years ago...Christopher Columbus and his pilgrim buddies come to America on a boat called the Mayflower to because the English King wouldn't let the Jewish people go.
So Moses, who was a friend of Christopher Columbus, rented 3 the Mayflower, the Santa Maria, and the USS Enterprise.
When they landed on America, and indian squaw, named Sacagawea, met them and traded pelts for beer, and then showed them how to de-gut a rabbit.
That night her friends danced with their boobs hanging out and balanced clay pots on their heads.
The head pilgrim then baptized all the to be Christians and they shot turkeys and played horseshoes.
It was General Custer's birthday, and three Kings showed up with gifts of myrrh and other crap.
Many pilgrims did not survive the first winter because they didn't have heat Jimmy Carter who was president of the Pilgrims had an oil embargo.

Sacagawea and her friends burnt buffalo turds and heated the camp.
The was thankful.
However it smelled so bad animals come the forest two by two.
The Lord then made a rainbow appear, to show that he would never make turds burn again, and cause a smell.
Sacagawea fell in love with Kemosabe, and were married on that first Thanksgiving, and lived in a tent with wheels. That's right.
All the pilgrims were to be away from the king, and to beat that they all landed right on Thanksgiving day.
Heston was then elected president.

My was REALLY drunk.