Everyday Normal Guy

I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
Nothing special about me motherfucker
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
When I go to the clubs I wait in line motherfucker
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
I got 600 dollars in the bank motherfucker
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
And my sexual perfomances are average

I work at customer service at a phone company
I make 12 bucks an hour but that's all I need
I live in a small apartment on a quiet street
I don't go out much, I like to watch TV

I can't afford a car, I use public transportation
I don't mind, I read till I reach my destination
Sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book
The amount of money I save, this shit is off the hook

And I'm not very good with the women
I'm a pretty sharp person and I'm average looking
Last time I had sex was in 2003
And I'm ashamed to admit it, but it wasn't free

I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
I get nervous in social situations motherfucker
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
I get constipated once a month motherfucker
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
And I make pretty good spaghetti sauce motherfucker
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
And I get scared when I go see the dentist

I'm the Pauly Shore of everyday life
Easily forgettable, and I'm not very liked
I have an According to Jim personality
I'm as entertaining as a fucking STD

If you want to mess with me, I think you probably can
Because I'm not confident, and I'm weak for a man
I'll just roll up in a ball when you kick me in the back
Yeah honestly, I probably won't fight back

And I don't have many friends that would back me up
My friend Steve would, but he doesn't look very tough
"You want some of this, bitch?"

If you rarely get laid put your hands up
If you're not well paid put your hands up
If you got a pet cat put your hands up
And if you have a bad back put your hands up

" I hurt my back two summers ago moving a fridge, and ever since then, it's just not the same... you know it... it gets.. it gets pretty sore"

I am just a regular everyday normal guy
My parents are really nice people moterfucker
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
I am somewhat afraid of heights motherfucker
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
I like the show Grey's Anatomy motherfucker
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
And I am pretty good at making paper planes