Cold Blooded Christmas

It was late at night on Christmas eve
i was dreaming of the soft white snow (white snow)
i was a woken by a noise near the Christmas tree what it
was i did not know

it was Santa Claus he was bringing me some gifts
unfortunately i did not know that (i didn't know)
so i quietly snuk up behind him and i shot him 5 times
in the back.

it went bao bao bao bao bao
he said What the fuck ow ow ow
then i shot him 3 more times in the head
piece's of his brain flew and he was dead

that's when i notice his blood soaked beard
and his red suit filled with bullet holes (uh-oh)
i said oh my god i killed Santa Claus I'm not going to jail for this asshole(hell no!)

so i went to my shed and i got my saw
and i started to chop'dy chop chop (chop-ta-chop)
i started with his arms then his legs then his head
and the torso was a really long job.

and the blood went splert splert splert
it was really hard work work work
it was hard cutting through his spine
i must have vomited 16 times..

i burned all the piece's in my fire place
the smell of burning human flesh filled my nose(sizzle sizzle)
eleven hours later there was nothing left and that's when i heard
my telephone it was auntie jean looking for uncle bob
she said he left the house dressed as Santa Claus
but he didn't come home last nite
have you seen him god i hope he's alright.