Eats, Shoots, Leaves

Eats Shoots Leaves

I'm the poster girl for the WWF
And I've been wrestling with stress about the struggles of death
I don't know if you've read some of the stuff in the press
But there ain't too many of us left
Let's just say that the zoo's reproductive program
hasn't got a clue when it comes to romance
It's less scented candles and slow jams
More like whip out a notepad and off you go fam
So I'm panicking a bit cos the pandas that I'm with all seem happy with the sitch
Like some kind of post-apocalyptic fantasy they're in
But for me the reality is this:
If it were left up to me to fill the panda void
And I was sent out to chat up boys
I can guarantee that the pick up line that's employed
Would be focusing on more than just a lack of choice
'Cos if the last two on Earth was just him and then me,
that was only ever meant to be a figure of speech
And I think we might be running into difficulty
if you're more into my seed than my intimacy
'Cos believe it or not, I do read the news
so don't tell me what I need to do, between me and you
All I want is to be seduced before you ask me to reproduce

I never really wanted to live in a damn zoo
and I never really got what the thing was with bamboo
But you gotta make the most of the things that you can choose, so that's exactly what I plan to do
That's exactly what this panda do

They wanna talk about eats, shoots, leaves, why don't you let me do me?
Everyone's so concerned with the panda stuff but I am who I am isn't that enough?
Eats, shoots, leaves, why don't you let me do me?
Don't see it all in black and white, I'm just trying to live my life

Breaking news. More specifically nature news.
More specifically international union of conservation of nature news.
There's been a 17% increase in giant panda population, woo! Hooray for you!
You're now no longer endangered, you have been upgraded to 'vulnerable'.
So what does this mean for our panda queen?
Believe me - it ain't easy, carrying the weight of your species
Especially pandas - have you seen me, as I listen to this strange-looking man on the TV
For us - it's the first bit of good news since somebody sneezed and was a hit on Youtube
And I couldn't believe that I would meet the Canadian prime minister I mean, could you?
'Course not, what do you know?
(News just in - it's Trudeau)
See hope travels quicker than bamboo grows, and Obama's koalas ain't half as cute, yo
Apparently now I'm 'vulnerable',
as if I needed an expert to tell me
Maybe this the year that we meet the Archbish'
(News just in - could Welby)
See no amount of positive thinking will change the fact the forests are shrinking
Sometimes it's like I fostered a baby squid thing, I've just got the strangest inkling,
The state of the world's got me a little upset,
been here for 3 million years and I ain't giving up yet
I don't wanna live in a world without bears
So I'm gonna put myself out there

I never really wanted to live in a damn zoo
and I never really got what the thing was with bamboo
But you gotta make the most of the things that you can choose, so that's exactly what I plan to do
That's exactly what this panda do

They wanna talk about eats, shoots, leaves, why don't you let me do me?
Everyone's so concerned with the panda stuff but I am who I am isn't that enough?
Eats, shoots, leaves, why don't you let me do me?
Don't see it all in black and white, I'm just trying to live my life

A relationship ain't a means to an end, I ain't looking for a mate, I'm in need of a friend
And it's never gonna happen on the first date cuz, 'cause you can't make babies if you don't make love
I thought I'd try out online dating, filter setting: sort by location
If it says the arctic then I won't acknowledge it, chances are we will be polar opposites
Female, Edinburgh, 13 years old, just looking for a hand to hold
I don't like men in white lab coats, I'm cute and cuddly, or so I'm told
Been spending most our lives living in a panda's paradise
But each time I'm alone at night something inside this panda dies
If I meet some manly type that does everything what a panda might
But refuses to say a word at the time, is that then some kind of panda mime?
(Oh no it isn't! Oh yes it is!)
But what I think is so absurd is that the zoo's gonna think their program works
If I do have a kid they'll know at birth, you do life on your own damn terms!

I never really wanted to live in a damn zoo
and I never really got what the thing was with bamboo
But you gotta make the most of the things that you can choose, so that's exactly what I plan to do
That's exactly what this panda do

They wanna talk about eats, shoots, leaves, why don't you let me do me?
Everyone's so concerned with the panda stuff but I am who I am isn't that enough?
Eats, shoots, leaves, why don't you let me do me?
Don't see it all in black and white, I'm just trying to live my life

I'm just trying to live my life
I'm just trying to live my life