Dust and Ashes

Is this how I die?
Ridiculed and laughed at
Wearing clown shoes
Is this how I die?
Furious and reckless
Sick with booze
How did I live?
I taste every wasted minute
Every time I turned away
From the things that might have healed me
How long have I been sleeping?
Is this how I die?
Frightened like a child
Lazy and numb
Is this how I die?
Pretending and preposterous
And dumb
How did I live?
Was I kind enough and good enough?
Did I love enough?
Did I ever look up and see the moon and the stars and the sky?
Oh, why have I been sleeping?

They say we are asleep until we fall in love
We are children of dust and ashes
But when we fall in love we wake up
And we are a god and angels weep
But if I die here tonight,
I die in my sleep.

All of my life I spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings
Now at the end all I know that I've learned is that all that I know is I don't know a thing
So easy to close off
Place the blame outside
Hiding in my room at night
So terrified
All the things I could've been
But I never had the nerve
Life and love, I don't deserve
So alright!
Alright!
I've had my time
Close my eyes
Let the death bells chime!
Bury me in burgundy
I just don't care!
Nothing's left
I looked everywhere!
Is this how I die?
Was there ever any other way my life could be?
Is this how I die?
Such a slough of feelings inside of me

But then why am I screaming?
Why am I shaking?
Oh god, was there something that I missed?
Did I squander my divinity?
Was happiness within me the whole time?

They say we are asleep until we fall in love
We are children of dust and ashes
But when we fall in love we wake up
And we are a god and angles weep
But if I die here tonight,
I die in my sleep.

They say we are asleep until we fall in love
And I'm so ready
To wake up now
I wanna wake up
Don't let me die while I'm like this
I wanna wake up
God, don't let me die while I'm like this
Please let me wake up now
God, don't let me die while I'm like this
I'm ready
I'm ready
To wake up