Luyện nghe bài hát Drunk on the striped table

in my featherless, sagging, wings,
i

my Phoenician, waterlogged, orchestrated and foot wings
in the air
i am drunk against the striped table
these banners into the airless beach
waving these flags as i murmur the recipes of prayers to the
and the in bikinis pumping iron against the sun

the recipes of vendors, egyptian vendors
shaking backs against the sun
with the sounds of sheets of metal
splashing the pharisees
with wild and the soft fragrance
of
and

i walk on the beach looking for a to sleep
My arms are beneath my sailing skin
i am broke and fucked up and i fall in the
and sleeping in the warm cradle of a billion

i dreamed of
she came to us in
and she was rattling
her language
and she was dressed in syrian rags
her had white powder on it and there were
little moons beneath her eyes
and i saw her
an arabic women parading around
powerful, irreverent but after all
it the old egyptian way
with sparkling clothes and

now i awake in the
the arcade is with children
are walking by staring at me
pre-pubescent faces are coming a little too
i don't even if i have on any underwear

i get up and walk
i never even knew this stuff was
the twirling music, the games, the
this living sucks
these panthers suck
these players
all go back to the north
canada, new jersey, ever they do that

II.

I abandon the old way when i got to san diego. I fucked anybody i wanted to. I was, however, gang raped by a blues band in an old school bus. That was pretty
horrible. There were only three of them. I can't if i got the third on e off me. I think i did. I was so ashamed.

Perhaps people think if you don't scream not being raped. Perhaps they think if you say to yourself, just let him do it and he won't hurt you. Or even more
provocative, just let him do it and maybe he'll like you. And of course you've saying no, no, don't . Or pushing but not pushing too much. Because you're just a little
girl really, and you're afraid, and so tired, and you just want someplace to sleep.

That's it's like when you run away from home.
Lots of people will rape you. And you'll let them. Just to a place to sleep.
The thing was, after they fucked me, and all this juice all over my thighs, didn't even let me sleep there.
You think this only happens to me? You're crazy. You think this only happens to girls who are rough? You're wrong. You think this happens in stories?
Look you.

Still i liked the idea of assertive. I liked the idea of free love in san diego. i liked the idea of saying i want you instead of waiting around so some guy can get his rocks
off thinking you didn't really want him that he won something from you that you didn't want to give him. This strategy, tradition, is a kind of rape.

This idea that men are suppose to win you, that you are suppose to be aloof, is a small but significant of rape. I do not like it. not one bit. that sam i am that
sam i am. i do not that sam i am.

now i could no more say get down here and eat this me than i could
a bull fighter
or write on the walls in blood
or wear the horns on my head
or row a across the atlantic ocean again

and though i am sitting at the desk, or
at a table eating
and there is some one, some slave, or anything

eating alone
and no one
or eating ones
and everyone is
i could never bring to reality now
reality is cracked by the blows of
men and nights pointed teeth
snapping at the air
i
and all things now
place inside my many layered

my
my
are

did you go
when went bad, anyway?
i sat beside you in that all night.
you were
you were talking to me a baby
you gone, man, gone
you just kept in the bath
and getting out and letting the run out
and then in again
and all food i made
it was all over the walls in the
and was a heat wave
and the waves very, very high
and the dogs were turning carrots
and the valentines were beneath
burrito and
where shattered pave the road
the winding road through park
that echoes
your naked
the bed you
those stupid
your body
the last
of me you
you me.
you loved me

where did you go?i knew you like that scene of girls chasing you down the street. that's why you liked to have a very hip car, because it was important that they
you in the right car, and i was not about to chase you.

i knew that story of that italian girl in philadelphia chasing you down the night street you were in a taxi cab, that's a nice image. the japanese girl. but then my feet
were starting toward you and you were turning the corner onto sunset and you left me there in a second day cold turkey. and all i can think of i cheese steak
philadelphia cheesesteak sandwich.

philadelphia steak and every time i think cheese steak i see all this wet cheese and steak.
comes the parade! Look! Here it comes!
I let you go.
I let you go. You to rip girls. I had to let you go.