Luyện nghe bài hát Drunk on the striped table

in my featherless, sagging, wings,
i

my Phoenician, waterlogged, orchestrated and forty foot
in the air
i am drunk laying against the table
pushing these into the airless beach
these flags as i murmur the recipes of prayers to the vendors
and the in bikinis pumping iron against the sun

the recipes of semitic vendors, egyptian
shaking their backs the sun
laughing with the sounds of sheets of
the naked pharisees
with wild bikinis and the soft
of
and

i walk on the beach for a place to sleep
My arms are beneath my sailing skin
i am broke and up and i fall in the sand
and sleeping in the cradle of a billion rocks

i of cher
she to us in babylon
and she was fluently
her true
and she was dressed in high syrian
her had white powder on it and there were
little brown beneath her eyes
and i saw her
an arabic parading around naked
powerful, irreverent but still all
doing it the old way
with clothes and force

now i awake in the
the arcade is filled with
are walking by staring at me
pre-pubescent faces are a little too close
i don't remember if i have on any underwear

i get up and away
i even knew this stuff was here
the music, the games, the money
this commune sucks
black panthers suck
these players
all go back to the north
canada, new jersey, where they do that

II.

I abandon the old way when i first got to san diego. I anybody i wanted to. I was, however, gang raped by a blues band in an old school bus. That was pretty
horrible. There only three of them. I can't remember if i got the third on e off me. I think i did. I was so ashamed.

Perhaps people think if you don't scream you're not being raped. Perhaps they think if you say to yourself, just let him do it and he won't hurt you. Or more
provocative, just let him do it and maybe he'll you. And of course you've been saying no, no, don't . Or pushing but not pushing too much. Because you're just a little
girl really, and you're afraid, and you're so tired, and you just someplace to sleep.

That's what it's like when you run away home.
Lots of people will rape you. And you'll let them. Just to a place to sleep.
The was, after they fucked me, and all this juice all over my thighs, they didn't even let me sleep there.
You think this only happens to me? You're crazy. You think this only happens to girls who are rough? You're wrong. You think this only in stories?
behind you.

Still i liked the idea of being assertive. I liked the idea of free love in san diego. i liked the idea of saying i want you instead of waiting around so some guy can get his
off thinking you didn't really want him that he won something from you that you didn't want to him. This strategy, this tradition, is a kind of rape.

This idea that men are suppose to win you, you are suppose to be aloof, is a small but significant dramatization of rape. I do not like it. not one bit. that sam i am that
sam i am. i do not that sam i am.

now i could no more say get down here and eat this sweet me than i
swallow a bull
or write names on the walls in
or wear the horns on my head
or row a boat across the ocean again

and though sometimes i am at the desk, or
at a table eating
and there is some one, some slave, or some

eating mine
and no one
or every ones
and everyone is
i never bring anything to reality now
reality is cracked by the of terrible
men and nights pointed teeth
snapping at the air
i
and all good now
take inside my many layered

my
my
are

did you go
when things bad, anyway?
i sat beside you in bathroom all night.
you crying
you were talking to me like a
you were gone, man,
you kept getting in the bath
and getting out and letting the run out
and then in again
and all that food i
it was all the walls in the kitchen
and there was a heat
and the waves were very, very
and the dogs turning into carrots
and the were melting beneath
burrito and
where shattered pave the road
the winding road through park
that echoes
your body
the bed you
those stupid
your body
the last
of me you
you me.
you me madly

where did you go?i knew you like that scene of girls chasing you down the street. that's why you always to have a very hip car, because it was important that they
chase you in the right car, and i was not about to you.

i knew that story of that italian girl in philadelphia chasing you down the night street you were in a taxi cab, that's a nice image. then the japanese girl. but my feet
were toward you and you were turning the corner onto sunset and you left me there in a second day cold turkey. and all i can think of i philadelphia cheese steak
sandwich philadelphia sandwich.

philadelphia cheese steak and every time i think cheese i see all this wet cheese and steak.
Here comes the parade! Look! it comes!
I let you go.
I let you go. You to rip girls. I had to let you go.