Luyện nghe bài hát Drunk on the striped table

in my featherless, sagging, wings,
i

my Phoenician, waterlogged, orchestrated and forty wings
in the air
i am laying against the striped table
pushing these banners into the beach
waving flags as i murmur the recipes of prayers to the vendors
and the pharisees in bikinis pumping iron the sun

the recipes of vendors, egyptian vendors
their backs against the sun
laughing with the sounds of sheets of
the naked pharisees
with wild bikinis and the fragrance
of
and

i walk on the beach for a place to sleep
My arms are hidden beneath my sailing
i am broke and up and i fall in the sand
and sleeping in the warm of a billion rocks

i of cher
she came to us in
and she was rattling
her language
and she was dressed in syrian rags
her face had powder on it and there were
brown moons beneath her eyes
and i saw her
an arabic women parading naked
powerful, but still after all
it the old egyptian way
with clothes and force

now i in the afternoon
the is filled with children
are walking by staring at me
pre-pubescent faces are coming a little too
i don't remember if i have on any underwear

i get up and walk
i never knew this stuff was here
the music, the games, the money
this commune sucks
these black panthers
these harmonica
should all go back to the
canada, new jersey, where they do that

II.

I abandon the old way when i first got to san diego. I fucked anybody i wanted to. I was, however, gang raped by a band in an old school bus. That was pretty
horrible. There were only three of them. I can't remember if i got the third on e off me. I i did. I was so ashamed.

Perhaps people think if you don't scream you're not being raped. Perhaps they think if you say to yourself, just let him do it and he won't you. Or even more
provocative, just let him do it and maybe he'll like you. And of course you've been saying no, no, don't . Or pushing but not pushing too much. Because you're just a
girl really, and afraid, and you're so tired, and you just want someplace to sleep.

That's what it's like when you run away home.
Lots of people will rape you. And let them. Just to have a place to sleep.
The thing was, they fucked me, and all this juice all over my thighs, they didn't even let me sleep there.
You think this only happens to me? You're crazy. You think this only happens to girls who are rough? You're wrong. You think only happens in stories?
behind you.

Still i liked the idea of being assertive. I liked the idea of free love in san diego. i liked the idea of saying i want you instead of waiting around so guy can get his rocks
off you didn't really want him that he won something from you that you didn't want to give him. This strategy, this tradition, is a kind of rape.

This idea men are suppose to win you, that you are suppose to be aloof, is a small but significant dramatization of rape. I do not like it. not one bit. that sam i am that
sam i am. i do not that sam i am.

now i could no more say get down here and eat sweet me than i could
swallow a bull
or write names on the in blood
or wear the horns on my head
or row a boat across the ocean again

and though i am sitting at the desk, or
at a table dinner
and there is some one, some slave, or some

eating mine
and no one
or every ones
and everyone is
i could never bring to reality now
is cracked by the blows of terrible
men and with pointed teeth
poison at the air
i
and all good now
place inside my many layered

my
my
are

did you go
when went bad, anyway?
i sat beside you in bathroom all night.
you crying
you were to me like a baby
you were gone, man,
you kept getting in the bath
and getting out and the water run out
and getting in again
and all food i made
it was all over the in the kitchen
and there was a heat
and the waves were very, very
and the were turning into carrots
and the were melting beneath
and neon
where places pave the road
the winding road through park
that still
your body
the bed you
those stupid
your body
the shadows
of me you
you me.
you me madly

where did you go?i knew you like that of girls chasing you down the street. that's why you always liked to have a very hip car, because it was important that they
chase you in the right car, and i was not about to you.

i knew that story of that italian girl in philadelphia chasing you down the night street you were in a taxi cab, a nice image. then the japanese girl. but then my feet
were starting toward you and you were turning the corner onto sunset and you left me there in a second day cold turkey. and all i can think of i philadelphia steak
philadelphia cheesesteak sandwich.

philadelphia cheese steak and every time i think cheese steak i see all wet cheese and steak.
Here the parade! Look! Here it comes!
I let you go.
I let you go. You to rip girls. I had to let you go.