Luyện nghe bài hát Drunk on the striped table

in my featherless, sagging, wings,
i

my Phoenician, waterlogged, orchestrated and forty wings
in the air
i am drunk against the striped table
pushing these into the airless beach
waving flags as i murmur the recipes of prayers to the vendors
and the pharisees in bikinis pumping iron the sun

the recipes of semitic vendors, vendors
shaking backs against the sun
laughing with the sounds of of metal
the naked pharisees
with wild and the soft fragrance
of
and

i walk on the looking for a place to sleep
My arms are beneath my sailing skin
i am broke and fucked up and i fall in the
and in the warm cradle of a billion rocks

i dreamed of
she to us in babylon
and she was fluently
her language
and she was in high syrian rags
her face had white powder on it and were
little brown moons her eyes
and i saw her
an arabic women parading around
powerful, irreverent but after all
it the old egyptian way
with sparkling clothes and

now i awake in the
the arcade is with children
are walking by staring at me
pre-pubescent faces are a little too close
i don't even remember if i have on any

i get up and away
i never even this stuff was here
the twirling music, the games, the
commune living sucks
these panthers suck
these players
all go back to the north
canada, new jersey, where ever do that

II.

I abandon the old way when i first got to san diego. I fucked anybody i wanted to. I was, however, gang raped by a blues band in an old bus. That was pretty
horrible. There were only of them. I can't remember if i got the third on e off me. I think i did. I was so ashamed.

Perhaps people think if you don't scream you're not being raped. Perhaps they think if you say to yourself, just let him do it and he won't hurt you. Or even
provocative, just let him do it and maybe he'll like you. And of course you've saying no, no, don't . Or pushing but not pushing too much. Because you're just a little
girl really, and you're afraid, and so tired, and you just want someplace to sleep.

That's what like when you run away from home.
Lots of will rape you. And you'll let them. Just to have a place to sleep.
The thing was, after they fucked me, and all this juice all over my thighs, they even let me sleep there.
You think this only happens to me? You're crazy. You think only happens to girls who are rough? You're wrong. You think this only happens in stories?
behind you.

Still i liked the idea of being assertive. I liked the idea of love in san diego. i liked the idea of saying i want you instead of waiting around so some guy can get his rocks
off thinking you really want him that he won something from you that you didn't want to give him. This strategy, this tradition, is a kind of rape.

This that men are suppose to win you, that you are suppose to be aloof, is a small but significant dramatization of rape. I do not like it. not one bit. that sam i am that
sam i am. i do not like sam i am.

now i could no more say get down here and eat this me than i could
a bull fighter
or write names on the walls in
or the victims horns on my head
or row a boat across the ocean again

and though sometimes i am at the desk, or
at a table dinner
and there is some one, some slave, or anything

eating mine
and no one
or eating ones
and is coming
i could never bring to reality now
reality is cracked by the blows of
men and nights with pointed
snapping at the air
i
and all things now
place inside my many layered

my
my
are

did you go
when things went bad,
i sat beside you in bathroom all night.
you crying
you were to me like a baby
you were gone, man,
you just kept getting in the
and out and letting the water run out
and then in again
and all food i made
it was all the walls in the kitchen
and there was a wave
and the waves were very, high
and the dogs turning into carrots
and the were melting beneath
and neon
where shattered places pave the
the winding road through echo
echoes still
your naked
the bed you
stupid lamps
your body
the last
of me you
you me.
you loved me

where did you go?i knew you like that scene of girls chasing you down the street. that's why you always liked to have a very hip car, because it was important that
chase you in the right car, and i was not about to you.

i knew that story of that italian girl in philadelphia chasing you down the night street you were in a cab, that's a nice image. then the japanese girl. but then my feet
were starting toward you and you were turning the onto sunset and you left me there in a second day cold turkey. and all i can think of i philadelphia cheese steak
sandwich cheesesteak sandwich.

philadelphia cheese and every time i think cheese steak i see all this wet cheese and steak.
Here comes the parade! Look! it comes!
I let you go.
I let you go. You to rip girls. I had to let you go.