December 4th

Shawn Carter was born December 4th
Weighing in at 10 pounds 8 ounces, he was the last of my 4 children
The only one who didn't give me any pain when I gave birth to him
And that's how I knew that he was a special child

"Hi baby, what's wrong?
You look like, you've lost your best friend
Tell me, is it something that I've done again?
You look like, you've lost your best friend tell me"

They say, "They never really miss you till you dead or you gone"
So on that note I'm leaving after the song
So you ain't gotta feel no way about Jay so long
At least let me tell you why I'm this way, hold on

I was conceived by Gloria Carter and Adaness Revees
Who made love under the sycamore tree which makes me
A more sicker emcee than my momma would claim
At 10 pounds when I was born I didn't give her no pain

Although through the years I gave her her fair share
I gave her her first real scare I made it from birth and I got here
She knows my purpose wasn't purpose I ain't perfect I care
But I feel worthless 'cause my shirts wasn't matchin' my gear

Now I'm just scratchin' the surface 'cause what's buried under there
Was a kid torn apart once his pop disappeared
I went to school got good grades could behave when I wanted
But I had demons deep inside that would raise when confronted, hold on

Shawn was a very shy child growing up
He was into sports and a funny story is
At 4 he taught his self how to ride a bike
A two wheeler at that isn't that special?
But, I noticed a change in him when me and my husband broke up

Now all the teachers couldn't reach me
And my momma couldn't beat me
Hard enough to match the pain of my pop not seeing me, so
With that distain in my membrane

Got on my pimp game
Fuck the world my defense came
Then Dahaven introduced me to the game
Spanish Jose introduced me to cane, I'm a hustler now

My gear is in and I'm in the in crowd
And all the wavy light skinned girls is lovin' me now
My self esteem went through the roof man I got my swag
Got a vocal from this girl when her man got bagged

Plus I hit my momma with cash from a show that I had
Supposedly knowin' nobody paid Jaz wack ass
I'm getting ahead of myself, by the way, I could rap
That came second to me movin' this crack

Gimme a second I swear
I will say about my rap career
Till 96 came niggas I'm here
Good-bye

Shawn use to be in the kitchen
Beating on the table and rapping
And um, until the wee hours of the morning
And then I bought him a boom box
And his sisters and brothers said that he would drive them nuts
But that was my way to keep him close to me and out of trouble

Good-bye to the game all the spoils, the adrenaline rush
Your blood boils you in a spot knowing cops could rush
And you in a drop your so easy to touch no two days are alike
Except the first and fifteenth pretty much

And trust is a word you seldom hear from us
Hustlers we don't sleep we rest one eye up
And a drought can define a man, when the well dries up
You learn to work the water without workin', of thirst you'll die yup

And niggas get tied up for product
And little brothers ring fingers get cut up
To show mothers they really got 'em
And this was the stress I live with till I decided

To try this rap shit for a livin', I pray I'm forgiven
For every bad decision I made every sister I played
'Cause I'm still paranoid to this day
And it's nobody fault I made the decisions I made
This is the life I chose or rather the life that chose me

If you can't respect that your whole perspective is wack
Maybe you'll love me when I fade to black
If you can't respect that your whole perspective is wack
Maybe you'll love me when I fade to black

Now if you can't respect that your whole perspective is wack
Maybe you'll love me when I fade to black
If you can't respect that your whole perspective is wack
Maybe you'll love me when I fade to black