I'm and tired of my generation getting blamed For the state of the planet, I'm sick of my getting called 'The TV generation', "Well all you do is watch TV" What did you expect? We watched lee harvey get shot
Live on tv one morning, we were afraid to change The fucking for the next thirty years "This show sucks", "Yeah, but somebody might get the commercial, now hang on!
That's what's wrong with country, we always shoot the wrong guys We J F K, we shoot R F K and it comes to teddy, we go "Ahh, leave him alone, fuck it up himself, no problem, you know" Biggest target in the whole goddamn Kennedy
takes a shot on me, he weighs about seven thousand pounds You could a bullet in Los Angeles and hit him in the ass in Boston minutes later, he'd be standing on the lawn At the Kennedy compound going, "Ah a bullet in my ass, ah"
Ted kennedy, senator, but a bad date You know what I'm saying, folks? One of those who gets home At four o'clock in the and goes, "What did I forget? Oh! The fucking girl! What's the matter me? Jesus, where are my Holy shit!
Because I'll tell you folks, we got a real problem guns In this country, we have people Almost twice, three, four, five a year, right? People just snap, they can't it anymore, they just snap
They go into Mcdonalds and fifteen people I mean what the fuck is going on down at the post Every six months some guy fired, comes back And all his co-workers
If I at the post office as a supervisor I wouldn't lay off for the next twenty-five fucking years I'd walk around going, "Hanrahan, what're you doing?" "Nothing" "Well, keep it up, you're doing a job! Jesus, I'll tell ya"
And I am sick and tired for New York taking the blame In this for the crime problem, you know Whenever you read a fact chart, it always says leads the world In rape and murder and everything else, but New takes the blame
"New york's a cess pool, a cess pool of filth and crime moving", "Hey! I just moved here four years ago And I'm not leaving, because this is the most exciting In the to live"
Oh yeah! Yeah! There are so many to die in New York city Come on! Race riots, drive by shootings, crashes Construction collapsing on the sidewalks Manhole covers blowing up, shooting into the sky
We had a subway crash a couple of years ago Five people died, the next day they found the was drunk And hooked on crack, folks, this makes Look like a fucking ride, doesn't it?
"Your today is Edward, he's drunk and hooked on crack The man sitting next to you has a nine-millimeter luck, folks!", "Honey, get the camera!" This is gonna be great!"
Yeah, I love in New York, man and people who live in New York We wear that like a badge right on our sleeve because we know fact impresses everybody! "I was in vietnam" "So what? I in New York!", "Really?
Yeah, 'cause New teaches you to live life the way It be lived, moment to moment, yes Because every moment in New York could be your Oh yeah,
You could be down the street tomorrow Feeling good about yourself, drink free, drug Looking forward to the And somebody nudges their poodle off of a 75th floor ledge
Doink! And he's headed for the At a and seventy five thousand miles per hour And curchunk he's impeded in your head! You're on contact The in the post the next day reads, "Man killed by best friend"
People cut the article out and they laugh about it at the And you're forever remembered as the man! "I knew the poodle man and he hated poodles"
New york teaches you to life moment to moment And street by street and beat to Because we've all played street ot street game in New York Haven't we? Yes we have, block, bad block, good block, bad block Gun block, crack block, asbestos block, block! Poodle block
'Cause people think, "Life sucks, and then you die" I disagree, I life sucks, then you get cancer you go into chemotherapy and you lose all your hair You feel bad yourself, then all of the sudden The cancer into remission
You look good, you good, you're going great And all of the sudden you have a stroke, you can't move your side And one day you step off the curb at 68th by center and bang You get hit by a bus and then, maybe, you die
Because I think Jim said it best when he said "Anybody got any I think I got a cold" And a chill filled the room, we all have this attachment To the muppets, we? "We love the muppets! They're so cute!"
Did you hear about Jim Hensen's funeral? in New York city, huh? Kermit the frog and big bird "It's not easy being green" At Jim funeral, if I'm fifty-six years old When I the bucket and a fucking sock is singing at my funeral
I'm pop out of the coffin and go "Hey! What the Hell is this about? Sammy Davis Jr. Frank Sinatra And I get a fucking I'm pissed off now!