I'm sick and tired of my generation blamed For the of the planet, I'm sick of my generation getting called TV generation', "Well all you guys do is watch TV" What did you We watched lee harvey oswald get shot
Live on tv one Sunday morning, we afraid to change The fucking channel for the next thirty "This show sucks", "Yeah, but somebody might get the commercial, now hang on!
That's what's wrong with country, we always shoot the wrong guys We shoot J F K, we shoot R F K and it to teddy, we go "Ahh, leave him alone, fuck it up himself, no problem, you know" target in the whole goddamn Kennedy family
Nobody a shot on me, he weighs about seven thousand pounds You could shoot a bullet in Los and hit him in the ass in Boston minutes later, he'd be standing on the lawn At the Kennedy compound going, "Ah a bullet in my ass, ah"
Ted kennedy, good senator, but a bad You know I'm saying, folks? One of those guys who gets home At four o'clock in the and goes, "What did I forget? Oh! The fucking girl! the matter with me? Jesus, are my pants? Holy shit!
Because tell you folks, we got a real problem with guns In this country, we people snapping Almost twice, three, four, times a year, right? People snap, they can't take it anymore, they just snap
They go into Mcdonalds and fifteen people I what the fuck is going on down at the post office? Every six months some guy gets fired, comes And kills all his
If I worked at the post office as a I lay anybody off for the next twenty-five fucking years I'd just walk going, "Hanrahan, what're you doing?" "Nothing" "Well, keep it up, doing a great job! Jesus, I'll tell ya"
And I am sick and tired for New York city the blame In this country for the problem, you know Whenever you read a fact chart, it says Detroit leads the world In rape and murder and everything else, but New York the blame
"New york's a cess pool, it's a cess pool of and crime We're moving", "Hey! I moved here four years ago And I'm not leaving, because this is the exciting place In the to live"
Oh yeah! Yeah! There are so many to die in New York city Come on! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway Construction cranes on the sidewalks covers blowing up, asbestos shooting into the sky
We had a crash here a couple of years ago Five people died, the next day found the driver was drunk And hooked on crack, folks, this Disneyland Look like a fucking bike ride, it?
"Your drive today is Edward, he's drunk and hooked on The man sitting next to you has a loaded luck, folks!", "Honey, get the camera!" This is be fucking great!"
Yeah, I love living in New York, man and people who live in New We wear that fact like a badge on our sleeve because we know fact impresses everybody! "I was in vietnam" "So what? I in New York!", "Really?
Yeah, 'cause New York teaches you to live the way It should be lived, to moment, yes Because every moment in New could be your last Oh yeah,
You could be down the street tomorrow Feeling good about yourself, free, drug free Looking forward to the And accidently nudges their poodle off of a 75th floor ledge
Doink! And headed for the ground At a hundred and seventy five thousand per hour And curchunk he's impeded in head! You're dead on contact The headline in the post the day reads, "Man killed by best friend"
People cut the article out and they about it at the office And you're forever remembered as the man! "I the poodle man and he hated fucking poodles"
New york teaches you to life moment to moment And street by and beat to beat Because we've all that street ot street game in New York we? Yes we have, good block, bad block, good block, bad block Gun block, crack block, block, poodle block! Poodle block
'Cause people think, "Life sucks, and then you die" I disagree, I think life sucks, you get cancer Then you go into and you lose all your hair You bad about yourself, then all of the sudden The cancer into remission
You look good, you good, you're going great And all of the sudden you have a stroke, you can't move your side And one day you step off the curb at by Lincoln center and bang You get hit by a bus and then, maybe, you die
Because I think Jim Hensen said it best he said "Anybody got any aspirin? I I got a cold" And a chill filled the room, we all have this attachment To the muppets, don't we? "We the muppets! They're so cute!"
Did you hear about Jim funeral? Here in New York city, huh? Kermit the frog and big bird "It's not easy being green" At Jim Hensen's funeral, if I'm fifty-six old I kick the bucket and a fucking sock is singing at my funeral
I'm gonna pop out of the and go "Hey! What the is this about? Sammy Davis Jr. gets Frank Sinatra And I get a fucking I'm pissed off now!