I'm sick and of my generation getting blamed For the of the planet, I'm sick of my generation getting called 'The TV generation', "Well all you guys do is TV" did you expect? We watched lee harvey oswald get shot
Live on tv one Sunday morning, we were to change The fucking channel for the next years "This show sucks", "Yeah, but somebody might get During the commercial, now on!
what's wrong with this country, we always shoot the wrong guys We shoot J F K, we R F K and it comes to teddy, we go "Ahh, him alone, he'll fuck it up himself, no problem, you know" Biggest target in the whole goddamn Kennedy
Nobody takes a shot on me, he weighs seven thousand pounds You could shoot a bullet in Los and hit him in the ass in Boston Five later, he'd be standing on the lawn At the Kennedy going, "Ah There's a bullet in my ass, ah"
Ted kennedy, good senator, but a bad You what I'm saying, folks? One of those guys who gets home At o'clock in the morning and goes, "What did I forget? Oh! The fucking girl! the matter with me? Jesus, where are my Holy shit!
I'll tell you folks, we got a real problem with guns In country, we have people snapping twice, three, four, five times a year, right? People snap, they can't take it anymore, they just snap
They go into and kill fifteen people I what the fuck is going on down at the post office? Every six months some guy fired, comes back And all his co-workers
If I worked at the post office as a I wouldn't lay anybody off for the twenty-five fucking years I'd just walk going, "Hanrahan, what're you doing?" "Nothing" "Well, keep it up, you're a great job! Jesus, I'll tell ya"
And I am sick and for New York city taking the blame In this for the crime problem, you know Whenever you read a fact chart, it always says leads the world In rape and murder and everything else, but New York takes the
"New york's a cess pool, it's a pool of filth and crime We're moving", "Hey! I moved here four years ago And I'm not leaving, because this is the most exciting In the to live"
Oh yeah! Yeah! There are so ways to die in New York city Come on! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway Construction collapsing on the sidewalks Manhole covers up, asbestos shooting into the sky
We had a subway here a couple of years ago Five people died, the next day they the driver was drunk And on crack, folks, this makes Disneyland Look a fucking bike ride, doesn't it?
"Your drive today is Edward, he's drunk and hooked on The man sitting next to you has a loaded luck, folks!", "Honey, get the camera!" This is gonna be great!"
Yeah, I living in New York, man and people who live in New York We wear that fact a badge right on our sleeve because we know That fact everybody! "I was in vietnam" "So I live in New York!", "Really?
Yeah, New York teaches you to live life the way It be lived, moment to moment, yes Because every moment in New York could be your Oh yeah,
You could be down the street tomorrow Feeling good yourself, drink free, drug free Looking forward to the And somebody nudges their poodle off of a 75th floor ledge
Doink! And headed for the ground At a hundred and seventy five thousand per hour And curchunk he's impeded in your head! You're dead on The headline in the post the day reads, "Man killed by best friend"
People cut the out and they laugh about it at the office And you're forever remembered as the man! "I knew the poodle man and he hated poodles"
New york teaches you to live life to moment And by street and beat to beat Because we've all played that street ot street in New York Haven't we? Yes we have, block, bad block, good block, bad block Gun block, crack block, block, poodle block! Poodle block
'Cause people think, "Life sucks, and then you die" I disagree, I life sucks, then you get cancer Then you go into chemotherapy and you lose all your You feel bad about yourself, then all of the The goes into remission
You good, you feel good, you're going great And all of the sudden you have a stroke, you can't your right side And one day you step off the curb at 68th by center and bang You get hit by a bus and then, maybe, you die
Because I think Jim Hensen said it best he said "Anybody got any I think I got a cold" And a filled the room, we all have this incredible attachment To the muppets, don't we? "We love the muppets! so cute!"
Did you hear about Jim Hensen's funeral? Here in New city, huh? Kermit the frog and big bird "It's not easy being green" At Jim Hensen's funeral, if I'm years old When I kick the bucket and a fucking sock is singing at my
I'm pop out of the coffin and go "Hey! What the is this about? Sammy Davis Jr. gets Frank Sinatra And I get a fucking I'm pissed off now!