I'm and tired of my generation getting blamed For the state of the planet, I'm sick of my generation getting TV generation', "Well all you guys do is watch TV" What did you We watched lee harvey oswald get shot
Live on tv one morning, we were afraid to change The fucking channel for the next thirty "This sucks", "Yeah, but somebody might get shot During the commercial, now on!
That's what's wrong with this country, we always shoot the wrong We shoot J F K, we R F K and it comes to teddy, we go "Ahh, leave him alone, he'll it up himself, no problem, you know" Biggest target in the whole goddamn family
Nobody takes a shot on me, he about seven thousand pounds You could shoot a bullet in Los Angeles and hit him in the ass in Five later, he'd be standing on the lawn At the Kennedy going, "Ah There's a bullet in my ass, ah"
Ted kennedy, senator, but a bad date You know what I'm saying, folks? One of those guys who home At o'clock in the morning and goes, "What did I forget? Oh! The fucking girl! What's the with me? Jesus, where are my Holy shit!
I'll tell you folks, we got a real problem with guns In this country, we people snapping Almost twice, three, four, times a year, right? just snap, they can't take it anymore, they just snap
They go into Mcdonalds and kill people I mean what the is going on down at the post office? Every six some guy gets fired, comes back And kills all his
If I worked at the office as a supervisor I lay anybody off for the next twenty-five fucking years I'd just walk going, "Hanrahan, what're you doing?" "Nothing" "Well, keep it up, you're a great job! Jesus, I'll tell ya"
And I am sick and tired for New city taking the blame In this country for the problem, you know Whenever you read a fact chart, it always Detroit leads the world In rape and murder and everything else, but New York the blame
"New york's a cess pool, it's a cess pool of filth and We're moving", "Hey! I just moved here four ago And I'm not leaving, this is the most exciting place In the to live"
Oh yeah! Yeah! There are so many to die in New York city on! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes Construction collapsing on the sidewalks Manhole covers blowing up, asbestos into the sky
We had a subway crash here a of years ago Five died, the next day they found the driver was drunk And on crack, folks, this makes Disneyland Look like a fucking ride, doesn't it?
"Your today is Edward, he's drunk and hooked on crack The man next to you has a loaded nine-millimeter luck, folks!", "Honey, get the camera!" This is be fucking great!"
Yeah, I love living in New York, man and people who in New York We wear that fact like a right on our sleeve because we know That fact everybody! "I was in vietnam" "So I live in New York!", "Really?
Yeah, 'cause New York teaches you to live the way It should be lived, to moment, yes Because every moment in New could be your last Oh yeah,
You be walking down the street tomorrow Feeling good about yourself, drink free, drug forward to the future And somebody accidently nudges their poodle off of a 75th floor
Doink! And he's for the ground At a hundred and seventy five thousand miles per And curchunk he's impeded in your head! You're on contact The headline in the the next day reads, "Man killed by best friend"
People cut the article out and they laugh about it at the And forever remembered as the poodle man! "I knew the poodle man and he fucking poodles"
New york you to live life moment to moment And street by street and beat to Because we've all played that street ot game in New York we? Yes we have, good block, bad block, good block, bad block Gun block, crack block, asbestos block, block! Poodle block
'Cause most people think, "Life sucks, and you die" I disagree, I life sucks, then you get cancer Then you go into chemotherapy and you lose all your You bad about yourself, then all of the sudden The cancer into remission
You look good, you feel good, you're great And all of the sudden you have a stroke, you can't your right side And one day you step off the curb at by Lincoln center and bang You get hit by a bus and then, maybe, you die
I think Jim Hensen said it best when he said "Anybody got any I think I got a cold" And a chill the room, we all have this incredible attachment To the muppets, don't we? "We love the muppets! so cute!"
Did you hear about Jim Hensen's funeral? in New York city, huh? Kermit the frog and big bird "It's not easy being green" At Jim Hensen's funeral, if I'm fifty-six old When I the bucket and a fucking sock is singing at my funeral
I'm gonna pop out of the and go "Hey! the Hell is this about? Sammy Davis Jr. gets Frank Sinatra And I get a sock? I'm pissed off now!