I'm sick and tired of my generation blamed For the state of the planet, I'm sick of my generation getting 'The TV generation', "Well all you guys do is TV" What did you expect? We watched lee harvey get shot
Live on tv one Sunday morning, we were afraid to The fucking for the next thirty years "This sucks", "Yeah, but somebody might get shot During the commercial, now on!
That's wrong with this country, we always shoot the wrong guys We J F K, we shoot R F K and it comes to teddy, we go "Ahh, leave him alone, he'll it up himself, no problem, you know" Biggest target in the goddamn Kennedy family
Nobody a shot on me, he weighs about seven thousand pounds You could a bullet in Los Angeles and hit him in the ass in Boston Five minutes later, he'd be standing on the At the compound going, "Ah There's a bullet in my ass, ah"
Ted kennedy, senator, but a bad date You know what I'm saying, folks? One of guys who gets home At four in the morning and goes, "What did I forget? Oh! The fucking girl! the matter with me? Jesus, where are my Holy shit!
Because I'll tell you folks, we got a real with guns In this country, we people snapping Almost twice, three, four, times a year, right? People just snap, they can't take it anymore, they just
They go Mcdonalds and kill fifteen people I what the fuck is going on down at the post office? Every six months some guy gets fired, back And kills all his
If I worked at the post office as a I lay anybody off for the next twenty-five fucking years I'd walk around going, "Hanrahan, what're you doing?" "Nothing" "Well, it up, you're doing a great job! Jesus, I'll tell ya"
And I am sick and tired for New York city taking the In this country for the problem, you know Whenever you read a fact chart, it always says Detroit leads the In rape and murder and everything else, but New York the blame
"New york's a cess pool, it's a cess pool of filth and moving", "Hey! I just moved here four years ago And I'm not leaving, because this is the most exciting In the to live"
Oh yeah! Yeah! There are so ways to die in New York city Come on! riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes Construction collapsing on the sidewalks Manhole covers blowing up, shooting into the sky
We had a subway crash here a of years ago Five people died, the next day found the driver was drunk And on crack, folks, this makes Disneyland Look a fucking bike ride, doesn't it?
"Your drive today is Edward, drunk and hooked on crack The man sitting next to you has a nine-millimeter luck, folks!", "Honey, get the camera!" This is gonna be great!"
Yeah, I living in New York, man and people who live in New York We wear that fact like a badge right on our sleeve because we That fact everybody! "I was in vietnam" "So I live in New York!", "Really?
Yeah, New York teaches you to live life the way It be lived, moment to moment, yes every moment in New York could be your last Oh yeah,
You could be walking the street tomorrow Feeling good about yourself, drink free, free forward to the future And somebody accidently nudges poodle off of a 75th floor ledge
Doink! And he's headed for the At a hundred and seventy five thousand per hour And curchunk he's impeded in head! You're dead on contact The headline in the the next day reads, "Man killed by best friend"
cut the article out and they laugh about it at the office And you're remembered as the poodle man! "I knew the poodle man and he hated poodles"
New york teaches you to live life moment to And street by and beat to beat Because we've all played that ot street game in New York Haven't we? Yes we have, good block, bad block, block, bad block Gun block, block, asbestos block, poodle block! Poodle block
'Cause most think, "Life sucks, and then you die" I disagree, I think sucks, then you get cancer you go into chemotherapy and you lose all your hair You feel bad yourself, then all of the sudden The cancer into remission
You good, you feel good, you're going great And all of the sudden you have a stroke, you can't move your side And one day you step off the curb at by Lincoln center and bang You get hit by a bus and then, maybe, you die
Because I think Jim said it best when he said "Anybody got any aspirin? I I got a cold" And a chill filled the room, we all have this attachment To the muppets, don't we? "We the muppets! They're so cute!"
Did you hear about Jim funeral? Here in New York city, huh? Kermit the frog and big bird sang "It's not easy green" At Jim funeral, if I'm fifty-six years old When I kick the and a fucking sock is singing at my funeral
I'm pop out of the coffin and go "Hey! What the Hell is this about? Sammy Jr. gets Frank Sinatra And I get a sock? I'm really off now!