I'm sick and tired of my generation blamed For the state of the planet, I'm sick of my generation getting 'The TV generation', "Well all you do is watch TV" What did you expect? We watched lee harvey get shot
Live on tv one Sunday morning, we afraid to change The fucking channel for the next years "This show sucks", "Yeah, but might get shot the commercial, now hang on!
That's what's wrong this country, we always shoot the wrong guys We shoot J F K, we shoot R F K and it to teddy, we go "Ahh, leave him alone, he'll it up himself, no problem, you know" Biggest in the whole goddamn Kennedy family
Nobody takes a shot on me, he weighs about thousand pounds You could shoot a bullet in Los and hit him in the ass in Boston minutes later, he'd be standing on the lawn At the Kennedy compound going, "Ah a bullet in my ass, ah"
Ted kennedy, good senator, but a bad You know I'm saying, folks? One of those guys who gets home At o'clock in the morning and goes, "What did I forget? Oh! The fucking girl! What's the matter me? Jesus, where are my Holy shit!
Because I'll tell you folks, we got a real problem with In this country, we people snapping Almost twice, three, four, five a year, right? People just snap, they can't take it anymore, they snap
They go into Mcdonalds and kill fifteen I mean the fuck is going on down at the post office? Every six months some guy gets fired, comes And kills all his
If I worked at the office as a supervisor I wouldn't lay anybody off for the next twenty-five fucking I'd just walk going, "Hanrahan, what're you doing?" "Nothing" "Well, keep it up, you're a great job! Jesus, I'll tell ya"
And I am sick and tired for New York city the blame In this country for the problem, you know Whenever you read a fact chart, it always says Detroit leads the In rape and murder and everything else, but New takes the blame
"New york's a cess pool, it's a cess of filth and crime moving", "Hey! I just moved here four years ago And I'm not leaving, because this is the exciting place In the to live"
Oh yeah! Yeah! There are so ways to die in New York city on! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes Construction cranes on the sidewalks covers blowing up, asbestos shooting into the sky
We had a subway crash a couple of years ago Five people died, the next day they found the driver was And hooked on crack, folks, this makes Look like a fucking ride, doesn't it?
"Your drive today is Edward, drunk and hooked on crack The man sitting next to you has a nine-millimeter luck, folks!", "Honey, get the camera!" This is be fucking great!"
Yeah, I living in New York, man and people who live in New York We that fact like a badge right on our sleeve because we know fact impresses everybody! "I was in vietnam" "So I live in New York!", "Really?
Yeah, 'cause New York teaches you to life the way It should be lived, to moment, yes Because every moment in New York be your last Oh yeah,
You could be walking down the street good about yourself, drink free, drug free Looking to the future And somebody accidently nudges their off of a 75th floor ledge
Doink! And headed for the ground At a hundred and seventy five miles per hour And curchunk impeded in your head! You're dead on contact The headline in the post the next day reads, "Man killed by friend"
People cut the article out and they about it at the office And forever remembered as the poodle man! "I knew the man and he hated fucking poodles"
New york teaches you to live moment to moment And street by street and to beat Because we've all played that street ot game in New York Haven't we? Yes we have, good block, bad block, good block, bad Gun block, crack block, asbestos block, block! Poodle block
most people think, "Life sucks, and then you die" I disagree, I think life sucks, then you get you go into chemotherapy and you lose all your hair You bad about yourself, then all of the sudden The cancer into remission
You look good, you feel good, going great And all of the sudden you have a stroke, you move your right side And one day you step off the at 68th by Lincoln center and bang You get hit by a bus and then, maybe, you die
Because I think Jim Hensen said it best he said "Anybody got any aspirin? I I got a cold" And a chill the room, we all have this incredible attachment To the muppets, we? "We love the muppets! They're so cute!"
Did you hear about Jim Hensen's funeral? in New York city, huh? Kermit the frog and big bird sang "It's not easy green" At Jim Hensen's funeral, if I'm fifty-six old When I the bucket and a fucking sock is singing at my funeral
I'm pop out of the coffin and go "Hey! the Hell is this about? Sammy Davis Jr. gets Frank Sinatra And I get a fucking I'm really off now!