I'm sick and tired of my generation getting For the state of the planet, I'm sick of my getting called 'The TV generation', "Well all you do is watch TV" What did you expect? We watched lee harvey oswald get
on tv one Sunday morning, we were afraid to change The fucking channel for the next thirty "This show sucks", "Yeah, but somebody might get During the commercial, now on!
That's what's with this country, we always shoot the wrong guys We J F K, we shoot R F K and it comes to teddy, we go "Ahh, leave him alone, he'll it up himself, no problem, you know" Biggest target in the goddamn Kennedy family
Nobody takes a shot on me, he weighs about thousand pounds You could shoot a bullet in Los and hit him in the ass in Boston Five later, he'd be standing on the lawn At the Kennedy compound going, "Ah There's a in my ass, ah"
Ted kennedy, senator, but a bad date You know what I'm saying, folks? One of those guys who gets At four in the morning and goes, "What did I forget? Oh! The girl! What's the matter with me? Jesus, where are my pants? shit!
Because I'll tell you folks, we got a problem with guns In this country, we have people twice, three, four, five times a year, right? People just snap, they can't it anymore, they just snap
They go into and kill fifteen people I mean what the fuck is going on down at the office? Every six months some guy gets fired, comes And all his co-workers
If I worked at the post as a supervisor I lay anybody off for the next twenty-five fucking years I'd just walk going, "Hanrahan, what're you doing?" "Nothing" "Well, it up, you're doing a great job! Jesus, I'll tell ya"
And I am sick and tired for New city taking the blame In this country for the problem, you know you read a fact chart, it always says Detroit leads the world In and murder and everything else, but New York takes the blame
"New york's a pool, it's a cess pool of filth and crime We're moving", "Hey! I moved here four years ago And I'm not leaving, because this is the most place In the to live"
Oh yeah! Yeah! There are so ways to die in New York city Come on! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway Construction cranes on the sidewalks covers blowing up, asbestos shooting into the sky
We had a crash here a couple of years ago Five people died, the next day they found the driver was And hooked on crack, folks, this makes Look like a bike ride, doesn't it?
"Your drive is Edward, he's drunk and hooked on crack The man next to you has a loaded nine-millimeter luck, folks!", "Honey, get the camera!" This is be fucking great!"
Yeah, I love living in New York, man and who live in New York We wear that fact like a right on our sleeve because we know That fact everybody! "I was in vietnam" "So what? I in New York!", "Really?
Yeah, 'cause New York teaches you to live the way It be lived, moment to moment, yes Because every moment in New York be your last Oh yeah,
You could be down the street tomorrow Feeling good about yourself, drink free, drug forward to the future And somebody nudges their poodle off of a 75th floor ledge
Doink! And he's headed for the At a hundred and seventy five miles per hour And curchunk impeded in your head! You're dead on contact The in the post the next day reads, "Man killed by best friend"
People cut the out and they laugh about it at the office And you're remembered as the poodle man! "I knew the poodle man and he fucking poodles"
New york teaches you to life moment to moment And by street and beat to beat Because all played that street ot street game in New York we? Yes we have, good block, bad block, good block, bad block Gun block, block, asbestos block, poodle block! Poodle block
'Cause people think, "Life sucks, and then you die" I disagree, I think life sucks, you get cancer Then you go into and you lose all your hair You feel bad about yourself, all of the sudden The cancer goes remission
You look good, you feel good, you're great And all of the sudden you have a stroke, you move your right side And one day you step off the curb at 68th by Lincoln and bang You get hit by a bus and then, maybe, you die
Because I think Jim Hensen it best when he said "Anybody got any aspirin? I I got a cold" And a chill filled the room, we all this incredible attachment To the muppets, don't we? "We the muppets! They're so cute!"
Did you hear about Jim Hensen's funeral? Here in New York city, Kermit the frog and big bird "It's not easy being green" At Jim Hensen's funeral, if I'm years old I kick the bucket and a fucking sock is singing at my funeral
I'm gonna pop out of the and go "Hey! What the Hell is this about? Davis Jr. gets Frank Sinatra And I get a sock? I'm pissed off now!