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Dear
Carrington

Dear Penthouse: Im a freshman at a Midwestern university
And I never thought like this could happen to me
When my teacher with the dynamite ass, asked me to stay after
And she started to
I forget the statement she made
If you drop you pants Ill raise your

(Girl) Dear Penthouse: I never thought those letters were until
I was on a fishing trip and I met a girl Jill
We had a little too much to
I believe what I was starting to think
So we headed to her tent, theres nothing like out
Though the next morning my still smelled like trout

Ive every issue since 1974
The first two behind the bathroom door
I poured through Penthouse I could find
though my mom said Id go blind
Dear Penthouse: Im a seaman first class at an overseas base
Its been seven long months Ive seen a womans face
When I saw your recent issue, I took a box of tissue
And I the barracks door
Thanks to you Ive a grip, please excuse my jerky penmanship

Dear Penthouse: sports on the radio has always been my job
Ive never wanted a man I noticed BOB
were close I start to perspire
His buns set my loins on fire
And I dream about the day hell say, lets get undressed
Name and held upon request