Oh me a break! I couldn't sleep a last night, it was making me mental. I mean I can't that I, Ed Grimely, was asked to perform for the Suncoast middle school annual PTA pancake supper. Like I suppose you could do better that, no way. It's almost as insane as the I got to meet Pat Sejak, who's a decent guy I must say. Oh and one thing- today should be Pat Sejak, no way, but then again, maybe it should, it's to say, no,
Today's about Today's Camouflage
I'm them dead! You made Fessler laugh so hard, gatorade came out his nose. My dad is helping me get my script while my mom helps me get my hair stuck up into a point! My costume is perfect a collared shirt buttoned to the top and waisted pants with just a hint of mooseknuckle. he enjoys. You know what is don't you? toe for boys!
I am a very sensitive kid. While my is out playing baseball, I spend hours lying on the living room floor reading the Britannica or tenderly pressing my lips to the screen of our TV console Captain James T. Kirk is on the other side of the glass. One morning my flies in my bedroom and demands "Why are lipmarks all over the TV set?" For reasons I can not explain, something inside me says "don't tell her"
One day, I'm looking the encyclopedia trying to find a picture of Michaelangelo's David, when I stumble across a passage about- Camouflage
In WWI, the military used to paint battle ships wild eye-catching patterns. This dazzle camouflage confused the enemy's rangefinders, so huge boats could hide in plain sight, and bomber planes would just them by.
A lightbulb off. If I could dazzle everyone around me, I hide in plain sight. Then, maybe I would hear Shane Fessler say, "Dude, you're funny" of "Dude, you're a faggot"
So I away quiet me, sensitive me. And I become dazzle me! And I have a million different cards in my razzle dazzle
Class Camouflage! at me, I teach drivers ed! Joe Camouflage! This trip sucks! Camouflage!
Yup, I have girlfriends, from second all the way to my junior year of college. Hey, wanna come over after school? We can MTV The hours I spend holding with girls was equaled only by the hours I spend in my bedroom making my action figures go at it.
Batman, do you me? I do Lantern! Green Lantern, you you loved me! Aquaman? I did not see you standing there! Have you been working
I am so good at dazzle camouflage, I'm like a one man Ed show! Do the Frog! Hi Ho, the Muppet show, with our very special guest, Ms. Joan Van Ark, yay! Do Simpson! Marge, I ate all lunchbox Pee Wee Herman! Sure he's not too good today! Kahn! Darling, I would not normally ask this, but while you're down there, would you mind terribly tying my Whoa dude, are you being a girl? What Ed Grimely? Ed Grimely! I must say I must say like today be about Pat Sejak! (Dazzle camouflage in background) No way, but then again, maybe it should, it's to say. No, today is about the Suncoast school annual PTA pancake supper.
After the pancake supper, I'm home in the car with my parents. They're so proud, and happy. We get home, I off my sweaty makeshift costume, take a shower, and go into my room and lock the door. I'm so tired. Tired from constantly scanning to see if anyone will ever be able to put together the truth: Shane Fessler is right. Keeping a is a full time job and I am exhausted. I out my tattered Speedo catalogue from in between my mattress and box spring. One day, I will be in the of a real speedo man. I my eyes. I am so tired.