One day about four or five ago We is at the Conoco station Kickin' tires, and swattin' And the state of the Union
right out in front of the Baptist church Come a big old school bus Had astrological signs it And hippies and dogs inside
About of 'em went for the courthouse lawn And them dogs on the fireplug Rest of 'em set starin' at us And I says, "Roy, go get flit gun"
He says, "Which is the hippies?" And is the dogs?" I says, "Beats the out of me, Roy" What they was, was a a' them crispy critters And their leader was a cadet
He says, "Sagittarius, we has to disembark, men Get the incense and the sitar out We gonna in the city park, man"
I says, "Boys, let me explain the to ya A, gettin' me down And B, we got us a leash law And C, you in the town"
"You drop one string a' in that there park And you see a whole lot of stars You got fifteen seconds to get out of town, Or we gonna ya to Mars"
Well, they all got back in the bus And proceeded to the limits Then the telephone rang, was the swimmin' Says a mess a' critters was in it
So we all got in the Plymouth is always at the Conoco station Went flashin' on down to the pool To give them critters a
By the time we arrived, it was too late critters is all had their pants down Them dogs was tearin' the apart And after the fish in the fish pond
I says, "Roy, you get the one in the silver And I'll get the rest a net" We have a jail full of naked crispy critters And a drip-dry cadet"
Well, we gave 'em hell, but we the war 'Cause critters outnumbered us So moved in and set up camp And lived in that purple school bus
Six weeks later, there was in town But eighty-four dogs and a shop Sellin' dried up weeds, and sunflower And postcards
Yeah, critters over the City Council And the dogs all barked brains out And the whole damn town was critters And the was a space cadet