I spot an active victim from a mile away I save old men in like Hemingway The pool not taken? Watch out for frost Dont get busted like or paradise will be lost
Its like that, and the way it is Dont Run DMC, like the other kids And if you get in trouble, I use a contact I my rescue tube to keep you alive
If youre submerged, Ill feet first And bring you to a backboard, to a hearse Because DOA victims are for I do it my safe way, you do it
Like or Luckys or Albertsons Did the hurt his neck? Im going in I support chin, airway and spine With my head technique everything is fine
My E A P is C P R those rescue breaths Ill check your airway for respiratory arrest Then its sweep, and abdominal thrusts I get the toy out I can, will and must
for emergencies Ive got my life together And understand my job keeps you alive like Vedder If youre a stressed-out mom who keeps her fettered Your kids are today, see, no lifeguard is better
Ten as reliable mature and fitter Than your lifeguard as a water babysitter Betsy Weeks trained me well at Gym And Im slamming into safety, not a Slim Jim
at the pool, lake or the sea I both eyes on your progeny The Red Cross has got my back 1 2 3 Because Im
And I act its with informed consent If you wont cooperate, I And call the cops, best Its not wise to distract me as I
The pool, its scanning, best take a hint And shut your mouth, you dont matter, lint Larry Flint might argue that voice means nothing But I be like Bush and say for safety it nothing
Im disciplined and talented at I do And hope to say the same for my crew Because unlike the Clown Posse
We practice our skills And dont cash in on tentative Or fire producers for more money
Wait, what, was I? I I got side-tracked Dissing Detroit high drop-outs new albums that are whack
Back on track, heres the point, Im safe, like Making sure the chemical doors always shut See that gardeners dirty trowel? Well, I Im too busy sure your kids stay afloat
And see that dude who kind of looks Shrek But imported badly dubbed French Star Trek? Nope, I check the bubble trek from your kids lungs The speck or smuggled Shrek
Distract no one me, I dont notice, no, just your kids But did I see kid run? Oh yes, I did Peripherally, so Im a lay the smack And turn their smiles into one collective
Hey kids, stop running, you the rule Yes Im a tool from lifeguard But safety is cool here at the And trust me on the sunscreen, be a fool
Lifeguarding at the pool, or the sea I both eyes on your progeny The Red Cross has got my back 1 2 3 Im certified