Carousels

On a bus ride into town
I wondered out loud, "Why am I going to town?"
And as I looked around
At the billboards and the stores

I thought, "Why do I look around?"
And I kissed the filthy ground
First dry spot I found
And I didn't have to wonder why I was laying down

Before long I was too cold
Took a bus back to the station
I found a letter left by a pay phone
With no return contact

And it read like a horn blown by some sad angel
"Bunny, it was me, it was me who let you down"
It was the shyest attempt I'd ever seen at conversation

If I didn't have you as my guide
I'd still wander lost in Sinai
Counting the plates of cars from out-of-state
(How I could jump in their path as they hurry along)

You surround me
You're pretty but you're all I can see like a thick fog
If there was no way into God
I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long

And Bonner fair always came through
The first week of September
But it's already the 19th
And there's no sign of it

Yet, I have a hard time
Remembering all the things that I should remember
And a hard time
Forgetting the all things that I am supposed to forget

Oh Christ, when You're ready to come back
And I think I'm ready for You to come back
But if You want to stay wherever exactly it is You are
That's okay too, it's really none of my business

If I didn't have You as my guide
I'd still be wandering lost in Sinai
Or down by the tracks watching trains go by to remind me
There are places that aren't here

I had a well but all the water left
So I'll ask Your forgiveness with every breath
If there was no way into God
I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long, dear