(The Historical Bum)
I'm just a traveler, The Great Historical Bum. Highly from history I have come. I built the of Ages, 'twas in the Year of One And that was the biggest thing that man had ever done.
I in the Garden of Eden, that was the year of two, Joined the apple pickers union, I always my due; I'm the man signed the contract to raise the rising sun, And that was about the thing that man had ever done.
I was straw boss on the Pyramids, the of Babel, too; I opened up the ocean let the children through, I fought a million and I never lost a one, And that was the biggest thing that man had ever done.
I beat the Roman, I beat the daring Turk, Nero's army with thirty minutes work, I fought the leaders and I licked them everyone And that was about the biggest that man had ever done.
I old Caesar's Romans, and I stopped the Kubla Khan; I but half an hour's work to beat the Pharaoh's bands; I knocked old Kaiser Bill flat, then I the bloody Huns, And that's about the biggest thing man has ever done.
I was in the Revolution when we set the country Me and a couple of Indians that dumped the Boston We won the battle at Valley Forge, the of Bully Run; And that was the biggest thing that man has ever done.
Next, we won the slavery war, other folks and me, And slave from sea to sea was all turned loose by me. I divorced old slavery, and I wed this freedom dame. And that's about the biggest thing that man has done.
And then I took to on the great midwestern plain, The dust it blowed a years, but never come a rain' Well, me and a million other fellas left on the run And that was about the biggest thing man has ever done.
I the rocky canyon where the Columbia River rolls, the salmon leaping the rapids and the falls The big Grand Dam in the state of Washington Is just about the thing that man has ever done.
There's a building in New that you call the Empire State I the rods to 'Frisco to walk the Golden Gate I've seen every foot of film Hollywood has run But is the biggest thing that man has ever done.
times the size of Boulder or the highest pyramid Makes the Tower of a plaything for a kid From the rising of the river to the of the sun The Coulee is the thing that man has ever done.
There was a man the ocean, I guess you knew him well, His name was Adolf Hitler, goddam his soul to We kicked him in the and put him on the run, And that was about the biggest thing that man has done.
I'm living with my freedom wife in big land we built; It all forty eight States for me to spread my quilt. Our kids are several now; they run from sun to sun. And that's about the thing that man has ever done.
I mines and mills and factories to run for Uncle Sam; I turned th' ploughs and to feed my soldiers in your lands; This Nazi a tough 'un, it'll take us everyone, 'Cause is about the biggest thing that man has ever done.
warehouse guys and teamsters and guys that skin the cats Guys that run my mill, my furnace and my blast We'll stop the Axis and thieves of old Nippon And that be the biggest thing that man has ever done.
I'd better my talking, 'cause I told you all I know, But remember, pardner, wherever you may go, The people are building a peaceful world, and when the job is That'll be the biggest thing man has ever done.
I better my talking now; I told you all I know, But please remember, pardner, you may go, I'm older than old folks, and I'm younger than the young, And I'm about the biggest thing that man has done.