(The Historical Bum)
I'm just a lonesome traveler, The Historical Bum. Highly educated from I have come. I built the of Ages, 'twas in the Year of One And was about the biggest thing that man had ever done.
I worked in the Garden of Eden, was the year of two, Joined the apple union, I always paid my due; I'm the man that signed the contract to raise the sun, And that was about the thing that man had ever done.
I was straw on the Pyramids, the Tower of Babel, too; I opened up the ocean let the children through, I fought a million battles and I lost a one, And that was about the thing that man had ever done.
I beat the daring Roman, I beat the Turk, Defeated army with thirty minutes work, I the greatest leaders and I licked them everyone And was about the biggest thing that man had ever done.
I stopped old Caesar's Romans, and I the Kubla Khan; I took but half an hour's work to beat the bands; I knocked old Kaiser Bill flat, then I dumped the Huns, And that's about the biggest that man has ever done.
I was in the Revolution when we set the country Me and a couple of Indians that dumped the tea; We won the battle at Forge, the battle of Bully Run; And that was about the biggest thing that man has done.
Next, we won the slavery war, some other and me, And every slave sea to sea was all turned loose by me. I old Madam slavery, and I wed this freedom dame. And that's about the biggest that man has ever done.
And then I took to farming on the midwestern plain, The dust it blowed a hundred years, but never a rain' Well, me and a million other left there on the run And that was about the biggest thing man has ever done.
I clumb the rocky canyon the Columbia River rolls, Seen the salmon leaping the and the falls The big Coulee Dam in the state of Washington Is just the biggest thing that man has ever done.
a building in New York that you call the Empire State I rode the rods to to walk the Golden Gate I've seen every foot of film Hollywood has run But Coulee is the biggest thing man has ever done.
Three times the size of Boulder or the highest Makes the Tower of a plaything for a kid From the of the river to the setting of the sun The Coulee is the biggest that man has ever done.
There was a man the ocean, I guess you knew him well, His name was Adolf Hitler, his soul to hell; We kicked him in the and put him on the run, And that was about the thing that man has ever done.
I'm living my freedom wife in this big land we built; It takes all eight States for me to spread my quilt. Our kids are millions now; they run from sun to sun. And that's about the biggest thing that man has done.
I built and mills and factories to run for Uncle Sam; I turned th' ploughs and to feed my soldiers in your lands; This job's a tough 'un, it'll take us everyone, this is about the biggest thing that man has ever done.
There's warehouse guys and teamsters and guys that skin the that run my steel mill, my furnace and my blast We'll stop the rattlesnakes and thieves of old Nippon And will be the biggest thing that man has ever done.
I'd better quit my talking, I told you all I know, But please remember, pardner, you may go, The people are a peaceful world, and when the job is done That'll be the biggest thing man has ever done.
I better quit my talking I told you all I know, But remember, pardner, wherever you may go, I'm than your old folks, and I'm younger than the young, And I'm the biggest thing that man has ever done.