(The Historical Bum)
I'm just a lonesome traveler, The Historical Bum. Highly from history I have come. I the Rock of Ages, 'twas in the Year of One And that was the biggest thing that man had ever done.
I worked in the Garden of Eden, was the year of two, Joined the apple pickers union, I paid my due; I'm the man that signed the contract to the rising sun, And was about the biggest thing that man had ever done.
I was boss on the Pyramids, the Tower of Babel, too; I opened up the let the migrant children through, I fought a million and I never lost a one, And was about the biggest thing that man had ever done.
I beat the daring Roman, I the daring Turk, Defeated Nero's army thirty minutes work, I fought the greatest and I licked them everyone And that was about the biggest thing man had ever done.
I old Caesar's Romans, and I stopped the Kubla Khan; I but half an hour's work to beat the Pharaoh's bands; I knocked old Bill flat, then I dumped the bloody Huns, And about the biggest thing that man has ever done.
I was in the Revolution when we set the country Me and a couple of Indians that the Boston tea; We won the battle at Valley Forge, the battle of Run; And that was about the biggest that man has ever done.
Next, we won the slavery war, other folks and me, And every slave from sea to sea was all turned by me. I divorced old Madam slavery, and I wed freedom dame. And that's about the biggest thing man has ever done.
And then I took to farming on the great plain, The dust it blowed a hundred years, but never come a Well, me and a million fellas left there on the run And that was about the biggest that man has ever done.
I clumb the rocky canyon the Columbia River rolls, Seen the salmon leaping the rapids and the The big Grand Dam in the state of Washington Is just about the biggest thing that man has done.
There's a building in New York that you call the State I rode the rods to 'Frisco to walk the Golden I've seen every foot of film Hollywood has run But Coulee is the thing that man has ever done.
Three times the of Boulder or the highest pyramid Makes the Tower of Babel a for a kid From the rising of the river to the of the sun The is the biggest thing that man has ever done.
was a man across the ocean, I guess you knew him well, His name was Adolf Hitler, goddam his to hell; We kicked him in the and put him on the run, And that was about the biggest thing man has ever done.
I'm living with my freedom in this big land we built; It all forty eight States for me to spread my quilt. Our kids are millions now; they run from sun to sun. And that's about the biggest thing man has ever done.
I built mines and mills and to run for Uncle Sam; I turned th' ploughs and wheels to feed my in your lands; This Nazi a tough 'un, it'll take us everyone, 'Cause this is about the biggest thing man has ever done.
warehouse guys and teamsters and guys that skin the cats Guys that run my mill, my furnace and my blast stop the Axis rattlesnakes and thieves of old Nippon And that be the biggest thing that man has ever done.
I'd better my talking, 'cause I told you all I know, But please remember, pardner, you may go, The are building a peaceful world, and when the job is done That'll be the biggest thing man has ever done.
I quit my talking now; I told you all I know, But remember, pardner, wherever you may go, I'm older than your old folks, and I'm younger the young, And I'm the biggest thing that man has ever done.