(The Historical Bum)
I'm just a lonesome traveler, The Historical Bum. educated from history I have come. I the Rock of Ages, 'twas in the Year of One And that was about the biggest thing man had ever done.
I in the Garden of Eden, that was the year of two, Joined the apple pickers union, I always paid my I'm the man that signed the to raise the rising sun, And that was about the biggest that man had ever done.
I was straw boss on the Pyramids, the of Babel, too; I opened up the let the migrant children through, I fought a million battles and I lost a one, And that was about the biggest that man had ever done.
I the daring Roman, I beat the daring Turk, Defeated army with thirty minutes work, I fought the greatest leaders and I licked everyone And that was about the biggest thing man had ever done.
I stopped old Caesar's Romans, and I the Kubla Khan; I but half an hour's work to beat the Pharaoh's bands; I knocked old Kaiser Bill flat, I dumped the bloody Huns, And that's about the thing that man has ever done.
I was in the Revolution we set the country free; Me and a couple of Indians that the Boston tea; We won the battle at Valley Forge, the battle of Run; And that was about the biggest that man has ever done.
Next, we won the slavery war, other folks and me, And every slave from sea to sea was all turned by me. I divorced old slavery, and I wed this freedom dame. And that's the biggest thing that man has ever done.
And I took to farming on the great midwestern plain, The dust it blowed a hundred years, but come a rain' Well, me and a other fellas left there on the run And that was about the biggest thing man has ever done.
I clumb the canyon where the Columbia River rolls, Seen the leaping the rapids and the falls The big Grand Dam in the state of Washington Is just about the biggest that man has ever done.
There's a in New York that you call the Empire State I rode the to 'Frisco to walk the Golden Gate seen every foot of film that Hollywood has run But is the biggest thing that man has ever done.
Three times the size of Boulder or the highest the Tower of Babel a plaything for a kid From the of the river to the setting of the sun The is the biggest thing that man has ever done.
There was a man across the ocean, I guess you him well, His name was Adolf Hitler, goddam his to hell; We him in the panzers and put him on the run, And that was the biggest thing that man has ever done.
I'm living with my freedom wife in this big we built; It takes all forty eight States for me to my quilt. Our kids are several millions they run from sun to sun. And that's the biggest thing that man has ever done.
I built mines and mills and factories to run for Sam; I turned th' ploughs and wheels to feed my soldiers in lands; This Nazi a tough 'un, it'll take us everyone, 'Cause this is about the biggest that man has ever done.
There's warehouse guys and teamsters and guys skin the cats Guys that run my mill, my furnace and my blast We'll stop the Axis rattlesnakes and of old Nippon And that will be the biggest thing man has ever done.
I'd quit my talking, 'cause I told you all I know, But remember, pardner, wherever you may go, The people are building a peaceful world, and when the job is That'll be the biggest that man has ever done.
I better my talking now; I told you all I know, But remember, pardner, wherever you may go, I'm older than your old folks, and I'm than the young, And I'm about the biggest that man has ever done.