You remember ol' Ernie, how he met his waterloo, And how two-ton Ted from Teddington went off and Sue? Well, unbeknown to all of us, a few earlier on, A lass from Leckhampton gave birth to Ernie's son.
She'd heard about poor Ernie and the way in he died; "I swear get my vengeance on that baker's man," she cried. For years she held back tears and taught her son to be The refuse collector in the local UDC...
called him Bernie...(Bernie)... And he drove the dust cart in the west.
Now Bernie and his thought the time had come at last To go and find that baker and him with the past. They searched the village where he lived and knocked door to door, And found he'd moved from to number forty-four.
Then Bernie's mum said "Hold it son, we devise a plan. The first thing we go and do is pinch his baker's van." So Bernie it down the road and pushed it in the river, Then smiled and "That's one round there that baker won't deliver!"
was Bernie...(Bernie)... And he drove the dustcart in the west.
Bern raced back to his who was standing by Ted's gate, They started shouting foul abuse, and didn't long to wait. The front slowly opened and old Ted came into view, He looked them up and down and said "Now who the are you?"
"You may well ask," said Bernie, "And now you're to know I'm the son of Ernie!" Ted staggered back, "Oh no! I simply can't believe true. That's rubbish!" he then said. "No, is!" Bern cried, tipping his load on Ted's new flower bed.
They him Bernie...(Bernie)... And he drove the biggest dust in the west.
Ted "Well, I'm a widower now, with nothing to my name, my lovely daughter Lil," and from the house she came. Her hair was long, her eyes were blue, her was beaming bright, And for Bern up on his he just knew 'twas love on sight.
eyes were fixed together as she cried, "Please have a heart." Then Bernie said, "Of I will, just jump up on the cart." And as they drove off in hand, Bern's mum went up to Ted, "Forget the past, let's join them!" So the four of them wed.
All to Bernie...(Bernie)... And he drove the dust cart in the west!