As I Went Out One Morning

As I went out one morning
To breathe the air around Tome Paine's
I spied the fairest damsel
That ever did walk in chains

I offered her my hand
She took me by the arm
I knew that very instant
She meant to do me harm

Depart from me this moment
I told her with my voice
She said but I don't wish to
Said I but you've got no choice

I beg you sir, she pleaded
From the corner of her mouth
I will secretly accept you
And together we'll fly south

Just then Tom Paine himself
Came runnin' across the field
Shouting at this lovely girl
And commanding her to yield

And as she was letting go her grip
Up Tom Paine did run
I'm sorry sir, he said to me
I'm sorry for what she's done