"Artificial Means" Videos
Oh, Johnny and Janie, they were the perfect married couple
But not in bed
Oh, they tried taking drugs, How-To books, even Dr. Ruth
But for all intents and purposes their love life was dead
'Til one day Janie went over to the Pink Pussycat Boutique
She bought a long cylindrical thing
Now Janie is smiling, Johnny is not
Every night you can hear him sing
He says, "Our love is bein' kept alive by artificial means
You've grown emotionally attached to that little pink machine
Our relationship is not as healthy as it seems
'Cause our love is being kept alive by artificial means''
Oh, Johnny went down to the barroom
He bought one drink, he bought two, he bought three
Oh, he moaned to the bartender, the state of his married life
Bartender said, "Hey Bud, just listen to me''
So Johnny went over to the Pink Pussycat Boutique
He bought a plastic blow-up doll
Now Johnny is smiling, Janie is not
She is angry, she is jealous, she's appalled
She says, "Our love is bein' kept alive by artificial means
You've grown emotionally atta
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