Arose

If I could rewind time like a tape
Inside a boombox
One day for every pill
Or percocet that I ate
Cut down on the valium
That'll hurt everything
But death is turning so definite, wait
They got me all hooked up to some machine
I love you, Bean
Didn't want you to know I was struggling
Feels like I'm underwater
Submerged like a submarine
Just heard that nurse say
My liver and kidneys aren't functioning
Been flirtatious with death
Skirt-chasing, I guess
It's arrivederci
Same nurse, just heard say
They're unplugging me
And it's your birthday
Jade, I'm missing your birthday
Baby girl, I'm sorry
I fucking hate when you hurt, Hai
And sweeties, thank you for waiting
To open gifts
But, girls, you can just open 'em
Dad ain't making it home for Christmas
Wish I had the strength to just blow a kiss
I go to make a fist
But I can't make one, I'm frozen stiff
I yell, but nothing comes out
I'm crying inside, I shout
My vocal cords won't permit me
I scream, but it's not allowed
You put your arm around mama
The karma, wow
I just thought about the aisle
I'll never get to walk us down
Never see you
Graduate in your caps and gowns
It's 'bout to be 2008
How's this happening now?
I've got so much more to do
And prove, I'm truly sorry
If I let you down, but this tore me in two
The thought of no more me and you
You gave me shoes, Nikes like new
For me for school
Doody, I'm trying, but you
You were the glue that binded
So many things, time
I'd give anything to rewind it
I had to walk down my halls
And constantly be reminded
By pictures all on my walls
And I couldn't sleep at night 'cause
That image burned in my brain
Of you on the table
Me falling across your body
Not able to stand to save you
God, why did you take him?
I'm tryna keep his legacy alive
But I'm dying, where's Nathan?
Little ladies, be brave
Take care of your mother
Smile pretty for pictures
Always cherish each other
I'll always love ya
And I'll be in the back of your memory
And I know you'll never forget me
Just don't get sad when remembering
And, little bro, keep makin
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