And Then There Were None

{Dear Herr Stiefel, Moritz
I've spent the entire day thinking about your note
Truly it touched me, it did
That you'd think of me as a friend}

{Of course I was saddened to hear
That your exams came off
Rather less well than you'd hoped
And that you will not be promoted come fall}

{And yet I must say straight away that
Fleeing to America is hardly the solution
And even if it were
I cannot provide the money you request}

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh well, fine
Not like it's even worth the time
But still you know, you wanted more
Sorry it won't change, been there before

{You would do me wrong, Herr Stiefel
To read in to my refusal any lack of affection
On the contrary as Melchior's mother
I truly believe it to be my duty to curb this momentary loss}

The thing that sucks, okay for me
A thousand bucks, I'm like scot-free
And I mean please, that's all I need
Get real- okay?, by now you know the score

{Should you like, I am ready to write to your parents
I will try to convince them that no one
Could've worked harder last semester
And also that too rigorous a condemnation of your current misfortune
Could have the gravest possible effect}

You wanna laugh, it's too absurd
You start to ask, can't hear a word
You're gonna crash and burn, right tell me more

{Still Herr Stiefel, one thing in your letter disturbed me
You're a, what shall we call it
Veiled threat that should escape not be possible
You would take your own life}

Okay so now we do the play
Act like we so care, no way
You'll write my folks, well, okay
Babe, that's how it goes

{My dear boy, the world is filled with men
Businessmen, scientists, scholars even
Who have done rather poorly in school
And yet gone on to brilliant careers
Consider for example our friend}

They freak or want, you toe the line
You tell your soul, just kill some time
Will it quake, it will until
They don't

They're not my home, not anymore
Not like they so were before
Still I'll split and they'll, like
Well, who knows? Who knows? Who knows?

{In any case I assure you that
Your present misfortune
Will have no effect on my feelings for you
Or on your relationship with Melchior}

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, well, fine
Not like it's even worth the time
But still you know, you wanted more
Okay, so nothing's changed, heard that before

You wanna laugh, it's too absurd
You've start to ask, can't hear a word
You're gonna crash and burn, right tell me more

You start to cave, you start to cry
You try to run, nowhere to hide
Wanna crumble up and close that door

{So head high here Herr Stiefel
And do let me hear from you soon
In the meantime I am unchangingly and most fondly yours
Fanny Gabor}

Just fuck it right enough, that's it
You'll still go on, well, for a bit
Another day of utter shit

And then there were none
And then there were none
And then there were none
And then there were none